Because I love to help

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
August 27, 2024

I have been hearing people say hateful things most of my life. However, I have never witnessed so many people spreading hatred as if it were something to be proud of. How does it make them feel about filling themselves up with it?  Do they notice it doesn't make their lives better? I don't need to wonder about those doing things out of love. I know it fills them with the knowledge they helped someone.

Over the years, people asked me why I do what I do to help people with #PTSD. The answer was simple. Because I can remember what it was like to feel lost and alone. I'll never forget the hope I was given when people started to help and guide me. I realize that was back before a lot of readers were born. After all, it was the late 80s, and practically no one had the internet. (Not that it would have helped since we didn't have computers either.) 

My generation knew more about PTSD because we learned the old-fashioned way. We talked face to face. Sharing what it was like was hard at first. Society told us that PTSD was something to be ashamed of because we were too weak to get over it. We told each other we understood what surviving did because it did it to us. 

Some people I helped were fixated on hating others because they were hurt by others. When they reached the point where they trusted me, I'd ask them if hating did anything to change their lives. No one said it did. Then, I asked them how it felt to help someone. They said it made them happier. Most said it made them more peaceful inside or gave them hope. It's a spiritual thing anyone can do...and should do.

What I did, the hours I spent helping, filled me with more than any time spent hating did. Every second I spent remembering people who hurt me in the past drained me. I decided to remove the power they held over me and refused to allow them to continue to hurt me. 

I had to realize that they had long forgotten me, and it is doubtful they lost any sleep over the harm they did. I lost too much sleep tossing and turning about getting revenge. I had to decide to push my memory of them out of my mind so that the memories of those who helped me could fill me. After all, I had more people doing what they could for me than those who did what they could to destroy me.

Do you spend time hating people? Do you hate people you don't even know? Do you notice none of that hatred makes your life better? You realize you don't want it in your life once you open your eyes to what hatred is doing to you. Push it out so love can move in.

Y R U HERE

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
August 17, 2024

Have you ever wondered how someone healed long before you did? Was it because they had more support around them than you did? Sometimes, it isn't what or who is around them. Sometimes, it's because of what's within them they gain strength from.

Waiting for the traffic light to change, I noticed a license plate with YRU HERE. I smiled because it reminded me of all the times I wondered why I was here. Why are some of us born with brilliant minds, extraordinary talents, or passions that come with no explanation? Why are some born with kindness and humility while others seem hateful and egotistical?

Can it be because of the spirits within each of us that makes us so much different from others in our families? Are our spirits tested by circumstances or enhanced by what we survive?

Some people call spirits "souls," but Jesus clarified the term when He said, "God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth." He said that to a Samaritan woman at the well when the people of Samaria were hated by the Jews. Top that off with Jesus knowing she was a sinner, especially when she had five husbands, but He spoke to her with kindness and patience.

There is not much of that going on today when we hear "church" people in crowds cheering statements filled with anger, rage, and lies. I am referring not simply to political rallies but to church services. If you notice, the speakers and attendees have something in common. They do not refer to the New Testament but preach and speak according to the Old Testament. It's disturbing how they dare call themselves Christians but have absolutely nothing in common with what Jesus preached.

After a lifetime of faithful church attendance, I walked away. Not from my faith but the people not practicing what they claimed to be.

I've been through hell more times than I can count, but if strangers see me, they'd never guess I had any problems at all. I am not pretending to be happy. I am.

No matter what the universe tosses at me, I honor my feelings. I get angry, swear, sad, and cry, and I even get to the point where I run out of tears. I allow myself to feel hopeless until I am hopeful. There have been times when I am on the phone with someone I trust, crying during the beginning of our conversation and laughing toward the end. My emotional pain was released enough, so joy had room to move back in. I toss the crap out into the universe so it would evaporate.

I don't know why my spirit was sent to this earth, but it is connected to my passion. It is to help other people become happier after they become survivors of what happened to them. I know what it is like to feel alone, unable to open up about what was going on in my mind. I know what it was like waiting to get over it and return to the way I was before. I drank to numb the pain after spending the day being "busy" doing something to take my mind off what happened to me. After nearly an entire lifetime of agony, I tried it all.

Talking to someone who earned my trust so I could open up worked for me. It helped me consider their advice on what I could do for myself. My therapists knew why they were here—to help people like me heal as survivors. Psychologist friends I made while working also helped me when I was confused. They knew why they were here, too.

Dealing with trauma requires receiving whatever help we need. Sometimes, we need a therapist, but have you ever wondered why they choose it as a profession? My curiosity constantly overcomes my mouth, and I have to ask. Too often, the answer came back, appearing to be something they were told to say. The shocking answer came from the best therapist I had. She told me it was because she was as messed up as most of her patients until a therapist helped her heal. She wanted to do the same thing for others since she was a kid and needed one. Now, that was genuine honesty!

As vital as good therapists are, spiritual therapists are just as important. If you've ever wondered if God did it to you or saved you, you understand what surviving does to us while we are reluctant to ask the question aloud. It is something we need to discover which one is more plausible. Should we believe God caused the traumatic event or multiple events, then seeking spiritual help could cause us to become nauseous. Let me clarify that. God didn't do it to us as some kind of test. Many of us have heard someone say, "God only gives us what we can handle," and we believe it. The truth is, I think He is there to give me what I need to handle what happened to me.

As crazy as it may sound, writing to help others helps me heal and feeds my spirit. That may not be why my spirit came to this earth, but it is why I am here now.

So why are you here? Not since the beginning of your life, but as someone whose life was saved, you became a survivor, too?

Kathie Costos, author of the Ministers Of The Mystery Series The Scribe Of Salem, The Visionary Of Salem, and 13th Minister Of Salem

All freedoms of choice are being eroded

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
August 5, 2024

All freedoms of choice are being eroded, but we fail to see it coming. Some believe the threat is just about what we choose to do with our own bodies. It is about everything they consider a sin. Why? Because they believe humans are made in the image of God...
 

They are free to believe whatever they want but continue to fail to understand that the same freedom belongs to everyone else in this country. They fail to see that when the rights of others are threatened, there is no limit to other rights being threatened as well. 

It seems since they believe pregnancy is a gift from God, they also believe it was God who chose to create life within the female. It doesn't make sense to most of us since He sent Gabriel to offer the choice to Mary that He would force other females to become vessels. Just think about the females becoming pregnant because of rape. Pregnancy is the outcome of force in cases like that, and most of us believe that it is reprehensible for any female to be forced to give birth afterward. If they think all pregnancies are a gift from God, then do they also believe that the rapists are the instrument of that "gift" from God? Why would God force others to "receive" it when He gave Mary the choice to become pregnant or not?

If they made the choice to open their eyes, they would see that pregnancy is biological. Why would God make a female pregnant by acts of love to a couple wanting children and then cause her to miscarry? That happened to me when I was carrying twins; we wanted them to be born. When I was four and a half months pregnant, I started to bleed. One of the twins died, and I was hemorrhaging as I was wheeled into a room at the hospital. It left a blood trail. The other twin would not come out. To save my life, they had to abort the other one. That happened in the 80s, but if that happened now, in some states, they would have let me bleed to death. To them, they wouldn't care about my life but call themselves pro-life. 

It would be great if they could explain how a "gift" from God would include babies born with deformities so severe it causes them to die moments after they were born. Explain how they believe a baby born with missing limbs, blindness, or illnesses was God's decision to create. Maybe they could also explain how they think the inability of a couple to become pregnant no matter how much they want to become parents.

Today, they believe their beliefs are being threatened when the truth is that they threaten the choice of all others who choose to believe differently. They hide behind the title of Christian as they attempt to force what they believe on all others. I attended a church I was very active in for 45 years until I chose to be more of a spiritual person instead of a religious one. I believe in God and Jesus so much that I choose to do it their way without the man-made rules separating what "They" established. We are all free to do what is right for us of our own free will. That right is also being threatened.

What we fail to see is that when they attempt to remove the ability of others to make their own choices of what they believe is right for them, it jeopardizes all other rights.

Think about the belief the human body is in the "image" of God and how that would involve their desire to control what others do with their own bodies on all matters. We must look no further than the Old Testament when God's punishment for sins was every physical condition. The people would not do anything to help cure the illness because they thought it was sent by God. Babies with disabilities were born because the parents were sinners, and the baby had to pay for those sins. We know that it is caused by genetic conditions or biology gone amuck. Jesus straightened that out when he told his disciples that no one sinned when asked because that was what they believed.

Christians should know that God is spirit, which means it is the spirit sent when God breathes life into humans. In other words, that means the image of God is what is within us and not our mortal bodies. They would know that our spirits hold free will to make our own choices because God, being a loving God, did not want to force anyone to do anything, including forcing them to worship Him.

The Founding Fathers of this country created the protection of our religious freedom because of the Salem Witch Trials. Why? Because people decided that their beliefs provided them with the right to make false accusations and murder 20 innocent people as well as incarcerate 200 more facing their own deaths. 

That right is also being threatened as people hide their intentions to take away our freedom by accusing others of doing it to them. 

In the 4th book of The Ministers Of The Mystery series I am writing now, one of the main characters faces a tribunal because she preaches that all people have free will because of God's love. If what they choose is really a sin, they can be forgiven. Otherwise, it is never up to someone else to force them to do what God would not. 

So, who among the people in this country are not just sinners in God's eyes but going against the basis for the rights all of us are supposed to have by His will and protected by the Founders?

Readers' House UK Interview with Kathie Costos

"Costos brings a unique authenticity to her storytelling, providing a voice for those who often go unheard."

26 July 2024
readershouse.co.uk

Kathie Costos discusses her inspiration, research, and creative process in blending historical accuracy, psychological depth, and spiritual exploration in her novels. Throughout our interview, Costos offers insights into her creative process, emphasizing the importance of developing complex characters with rich backstories. For her, storytelling is not just about entertainment but about shining a light on the human experience and the resilience of the human spirit.

In our latest issue of Reader’s House Magazine, we have the pleasure of delving into the creative mind of Kathie Costos, an author whose works blend historical fiction, psychological thriller, and spiritual exploration with a deft hand. Her series, The Ministers of The Mystery, delves into the haunting legacy of the Salem Witch Trials while also exploring the psychological struggles of her characters, particularly regarding PTSD and personal demons.

Costos’ journey into the Salem Witch Trials was born out of a deep curiosity to explore beyond the obvious. In her own words, she shares her fascination with the over 200 accused individuals, their families, and the pervasive fear that gripped the townspeople during that tumultuous time. This exploration forms the perfect backdrop for her gripping narrative. Drawing from over four decades of research and personal experience, particularly as the wife of a veteran dealing with PTSD, infuses her characters with authenticity and depth. She expertly navigates sensitive topics, portraying the psychological struggles of her characters with empathy and understanding.

The Scribe of Salem, one of her acclaimed works, has drawn comparisons to the atmospheric and gothic elements of Edgar Allan Poe’s writing. Yet, Costos manages to balance historical accuracy with crafting a narrative that resonates with modern readers. She reveals how supernatural themes and spiritual exploration intertwine with historical events, offering a fresh perspective on familiar tales.

Her advocacy for veterans and their families shines through in works like For the Love of Jack, where she addresses combat PTSD with insight and compassion. Drawing from her personal experiences, Costos brings a unique authenticity to her storytelling, providing a voice for those who often go unheard.
read the interview here

Read the books from your favorite seller here.

The Scribe Of Salem

The Visionary Of Salem

13th Minister Of Salem

PTSD: 'Cry together, laugh together'

If you take nothing else away from the article below, remember this part.

'Cry together, laugh together'

Immediately after the fires, the town's art gallery became a refuge for residents and tourists alike.

Left in devastation, with a long recovery process ahead, Mallacoota Arts Council president Ms Casement and fellow artists banded together to run art workshops to take people's minds off the horrific event and provide a safe space to gather.

I found that and the report extremely comforting. Knowing a community was coming together to help fellow residents heal instead of just focusing on veterans gave me great hope that people like me mattered as much as veterans. That's what all of us need to remember. #PTSD is about surviving something others will never know or understand. That's why it is so important for us to find support from others who will help us.

Art classes help Mallacoota residents process bushfire trauma and find connections

ABC News
By Jessica Schremmer
July 28, 2024

In the aftermath, many people struggled to find words, expressions and ways to deal with the disastrous experience and psychological stress.

Ms Casement says people are traumatised and still processing what happened.(ABC News: Jessica Schremmer)

When the catastrophic 2019 bushfire ripped through the small coastal town of Mallacoota in Victoria's far east, it changed the vibrant community's fabric forever.

For some residents, the fire turned everything they owned into ash.

Resident Lynn Casement's home was among the 123 houses the fire destroyed.

"I will be traumatised probably for the rest of my life," she said.

"So many people after the bushfires have suffered PTSD [post-traumatic stress disorder] and are traumatised by what they saw and what they felt."

Sarah Holt, who moved from Melbourne to her new home in Mallacoota in 2019, lost everything just months later in the bushfire emergency.
read more here

What is your comminty doing for your residents? Are they aware of how many of you are suffering after surviving? If not, then how about you do something to explain it to them? If they are, then how about you spread the word about what they are doing? Don't simply assume just because you know about it, others like you know as well.

It is my greatest hope that you will acknowledge knowing there is nothing to be ashamed of because of what being a survivor did to you, will help you open up to help others like you. Believe it or not, that is also healing for you. I know it has been for me.