Day after Memorial Day regrets

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 31, 2022

 I wanted to know what it was like for the majority of the people in this country, so yesterday I decided to try to ignore it was Memorial Day. I went shopping and did the normal stuff I usually do as if it was just another day. Ever since I can remember, I always honored Memorial Day. I won't say I "celebrated" it because, to tell the truth, I find it repulsive to celebrate a day like this. A lot of people disagree with me, but, that's what I believe.

My Dad, uncles, and my husband, along with most of our friends, know the price paid to serve this country. The families know it too. What I didn't know was what it was like to ignore them. Today, I'm filled with regrets about doing what the majority of people do. 

What kind of people are they? What do they value? Do they know that the minority of people who have lived in this country, provided for the defense of this whole country?

To me, Memorial Day is bittersweet, because of all the suffering that goes unnoticed and unaddressed. The price of war is always carried off the field of battle, in the hearts of those who lost someone, and in the minds of those who have lost themselves.

These men and women were just like the rest of us in a lot of ways. They had their political views, liked and disliked things, and hated and loved other things. The one thing that bound them together was no matter what divided them at home, in war, they were willing to die for one another. These same simple, heroic humans were willing to do that, yet, back home, people can't bring themselves to talk to someone else they disagree with.

Anyway, this was the first and last time I'll ignore Memorial Day because ignoring them, feels like a betrayal to my family and friends. None of them were, or are, superheroes. Not one of them was perfect. They all had flaws and strengths just like the rest of us. They all had dreams and plans, just like everyone else. Unlike everyone else, they did what none of us will ever do. They gave parts of their lives so we could live ours with rights we are too afraid to stand up and stand in line for. The right to decide who and what we want to become and how we want to live, worship, or not, where we want to live, and how we want to live our life. I choose to never again live as if they never existed and Memorial Day is just the beginning of summer.

PBS Memorial Day concert

PTSD and the power you have within your mind

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 23, 2022

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, but too many are unaware of how much power they do have over their own mental health. There's a reason why no one ever asks, "Have you lost your brain?" It is your mind that holds your thoughts and emotions. Just like when you fall in love, people say "they have my heart" while leaving the mind totally out of the conversation. 

There are many different mental illnesses, and most have been researched enough so that there are always ways to make the lives of people better, if not perfect, at least better. It is the same with people fighting PTSD. No one can make your life perfect but between experts and the power you have within your mind, it can become a hell of a lot better than it is now. Even if you are on the road toward healing, even you can achieve more healing than you hoped for.

While service members and veterans battle PTSD, so do civilians in far greater numbers. Considering PTSD only happens after surviving a mind-shaking event, they suffer the same way as military people. What keeps getting left out of the conversation is that military people are also just people too, and can have the same traumatic events as everyone else. The unique thing is that military people have to also recover from what happens while serving their country.

While civilians can understand your pain and struggles, they cannot understand all the events that caused yours. You cannot understand all of their events unless you survived the same thing. It is time that everyone understands what they do have in common with other survivors. This is why I wrote The Lost Son Alive Again.

After 40 years of working with veterans and families struggling with PTSD, it was time for me to turn my attention to everyone fighting this same enemy. It includes several veterans and survivors of other events so that more people can see themselves in these characters.

The Army is trying to do something for soldiers.

 Mental Health Awareness Month highlights resources available for those in need on Army Times addresses the needs of active duty and veterans, but as you can see, none of this is new and efforts to support them to seek mental health help have fallen way too short.

ROCK ISLAND ARSENAL, Ill. — May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and it comes at a time when active-duty and veteran suicides are at alarming levels. The U.S. Army, and the U.S. Army Sustainment Command in particular, are making enormous efforts to help Soldiers, Civilians and their families be aware of mental health problems and offer support and services to those who need them. This year, at least to this point, offers a bright spot in an otherwise gloomy picture. According to Army Secretary Christine Wormuth, testifying before Congress on May 11, Soldier deaths so far this year are “significantly lower” than during the same period last year. And rates of suicide in the Army are lower at this point than during the most recent five-year and 10-year average for the combined forces. That’s good news, but a Department of Defense report published in September 2021, said, “In CY (calendar year) 2020, there were 580 service members who tragically died by suicide.”

 That is good and bad in all of this. Aren't you tired of the attitude of anything is better than nothing? After all, that is why we are seeing these results 4 decades after I got into all of this. The premise of this book, as well as the upcoming Stranger Angels Among Us, is to open eyes, hearts, and minds to the power all of you, civilians as well as military folks, have within your own mind.

The main character was a reporter coving the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. An RPG blew up near him and almost killed him. It set off powerful PTSD and then other events added to the damage already done.

He was done waiting for miracles. After all, God washed His hands of Chris a long time ago. When the shock of surviving wore off, regret took its place. He was sure the man he was died on the operating table, precisely seven years from that day. Friday, September 13, 2019, Christopher Papadopoulos had seen a lot in his life and he didn’t want to see anymore.

Bill Gibson, his best friend, and ex-brother-in-law was struck by PTSD from serving in the Army.

Chris dreaded talking to him about the marriage falling apart and wasn’t sure what Bill had heard about it from his ex-wife. He could only imagine all the horrible things she told him, blaming it all on him. “So Bill, what are you doing back in Salem? The last time I saw you, you said you were going to stay in the Army for the rest of your life. And then I got blown up.”
“I was but I got out over five years ago. We’re here for a reunion. One of our buddies died five years ago.”
“Oh sorry. Was he killed in action?”
“No, but he’s dead because of it.”
Chris felt the tension building inside of his body. His mind was consumed with building anger. He didn’t care who died or how. All he could think about was what had happened to him since the last time he saw the man across from him. Seeing Bill reminded him of what life was like when he wasn’t hurting.

David was also struck by PTSD while serving with Bill. 

David Mac Donald strolled into the bar, tall, muscular, fiery red flowing hair with a scraggly beard. He looked more like an ancient Scottish warrior than he did when he was in the Army with cropped hair. David’s family moved from Scotland when he was going into high school and he joined the Army as soon as he graduated. When he walked over to the group, they all got up out of their chairs and hugged and then he saw Chris. “Oh my God! Nanos!” He walked over to him. As soon as he got a closer look at his eyes, he could see an all too familiar pain the fake smile couldn’t cover-up. He gave him a bear hug and whispered in his Scottish accent, “Your demon is in control for now. Time to take back your life like we did.”

“Hell of a way to end a marriage.”
“I thought it was the end but it wasn’t. The bitch stalked me after that. I wanted to get a restraining order but couldn’t find the balls to say my wife beat me. Anyway, she called me over and over again, showed up when I least expected it, and made my life hell.”
“Is that why you fell apart?”
“Yep. I was doomed because somehow she always found out where I was and who I was with. I couldn’t go anywhere.”
“What did all that do to you?”
“You know, with the wars I covered and getting blown up didn’t do as much damage to me as she did. I had nightmares and flashbacks, mood swings off the charts and so filled with anger, I had to go to the gym just to beat up a bag.”

These men joined forces with other survivors from different events to help Chris change the conversation about PTSD so that people will learn how to find the power within their minds to heal to the point of living a miracle! 

The Lost Son Alive Again Paperback is available now for Mental Health Month. And the ebook of The Lost Son Alive Again is coming out June 1st for PTSD Awareness Month.

The freewill to decide for themselves

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 16, 2022 

"Ekklesia means ‘the called out ones’ and was about God’s people, not a building."

From Stranger Angels 2nd Edition coming soon.

That is from Stranger Angels. Don't believe it because you never heard it mentioned in church? It should have been because it came from the Book of Acts 7:48-50

48 “However, the Most High does not live in houses made by human hands. As the prophet says:
49 “‘Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool.
What kind of house will you build for me? says the Lord. Or where will my resting place be?
50 Has not my hand made all these things?

Jesus gave many lessons about one faith. He preached outside and told everyone to pray to "Our Father" instead of telling them they must do it in a church. There weren't any churches back then. There were only temples. 

They did not have all these different denominations of followers of Christ. Aside from that fact, this nation has the rights of all people to decide for themselves what they believed, or did not believe. 

The founding fathers were brilliant because those were the same rights and freedoms God grated every human. The freewill to decide for themselves.

So how did we ever get to the point where a religious point of view has been granted so much power over the rest of the people in this country? That is what the abortion debate is all about and is not what all Christians think. The Presbyterians came out and defend the rights of people to choose for themselves.

PARO welcomes those who support the full range of reproductive options that ensure that every child is loved and wanted. The network is committed to ensuring that the policy of the PC(USA) is articulated, understood, and preserved for future generations.

They are not alone defending choice. Presbyterians also support gay rights, but leave it up to congregations to choose to allow it or not. Choice within the same group is a marvelous thing to do. Imagine that! There are many divisions among Christians, and as it should be, however, anyone demanding a right be removed by anyone, or group, is wrong. That is why there are so many different beliefs in Christianity. Now set that aside and realize where you live. You live in a nation built upon freedom of religion. It is so important it is in the 1st Amendment to the Constitution.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The right of all people to decide what they believe and how they will live their own lives is up to them. For the Supreme Court to dare demand everyone else obey a "moral" decision is anti-American and anti-God considering He gave us all the right to decide for ourselves.

Our moral values are often offended by those who scream the loudest because we have to defend ourselves against how they portray themselves on religious grounds. They give the false impression that they speak for all Christians.

It has gotten so bad, that my last three books had to be rewritten because while a lot of people thought the story was really good, they did not like the Bible passages. I included them in on the first editions because people who do not attend church, are usually not aware of how much power and comfort is within the pages. I had to take them out and only left the reference to where the thoughts came from.

That's the thing that really gets me because not attending a "church" is actually supported in the Bible itself. 

This is from Stranger Angels, coming soon on Amazon.

Chris, Bill and David just heard Greet talk about how Paul had Stephen stoned to death. Chris had been accused many times of trying to take down churches. Greer, the daughter of a fabulous preacher, was not just one of Chris's best friends, she was one of his defenders.

They all noticed her face changed and her back stiffened up. David took her hand, “What just happened? What’s going on with you?”

“I just remembered what else Stephen said. God! I wish I remembered it when Chris was being accused of wanting to take down the church!”

“What else did he say?”

“He said that God doesn’t live in houses built by human hands. That He created everything.” She turned to Chris, “I’m sorry that I didn’t remember that. He was saying what others said before him and that God didn’t want building and when Jesus said that Peter was the rock He wasn’t talking a stone one but a living one. He told the people to pray to His Father directly. People use the word church without understanding what Jesus was actually talking about. Ekklesia means ‘the called out ones’ and was about God’s people, not a building. That is exactly what you’ve been saying.”

Chris covered his mouth while he started at Greer. David looked at him, “She’s right. I didn’t remember that either but somehow I knew you were on the right track with what you’ve been saying all along. I mean, if a fire burns down a church, people can still pray on their own. How many churches have had to close and ended up being sold, turned into a house, or office space because people stopped going to them? Safe bet people didn’t think that God died just because their church did. They are all just places and not some kind of super connector to God.”

Bill added, “Just like my Dad and Mandy. They prayed directly to God and didn’t need a church building to do it for them.”

“You’re all right.” He turned to Greer, “That really helped and in a way, I’m glad you didn’t remember it before because that would have reenforced the things I’ve been accused of doing. Now that I know that, I’ll know what to say the next time.”

How could anyone expect someone to seek spiritual healing for PTSD or any other illness, if all they hear are voices condemning them? How can anyone learn how much they are loved by God if they never hear how He created their souls and their bodies are just a vehicle for their souls? Or that they are free to decide for themselves what they do and do not believe?

It is time for the voices of Christians to defend their faith against those who seek to silence them. We should all be tired of them deciding they have the right to decide for everyone else.

Imagine what it would be like if....

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 11, 2022

My parents were first generation American and I paid attention to elections because that's how they raised me. My Mom brought me with her for everyone of them, including local elections until I was old enough to vote.

By then, I understood what a political platform was, because that was how they used to vote. Then when politicians proved they couldn't be trusted to keep to what they claimed they valued, they switched to being issue voters.

They didn't have the luxury of looking up voting records because no one had computers back then. The only thing they could do was pay attention to newspapers, and they did with dedication.

That was what I believed and still do. Elections matter and so does the platform of political parties.

I've been thinking about what a mess this country is in, and has been for a very long time. Thinking about how hard our lives are right now, reminds me of how hard they were in the past as well.

I got depressed about all of this and then I started to wonder about what it would be like if things had been different.

Imagine what it would be like if,

When the GOP had the chance do the right thing and allow Obama to nominate;who he wanted to to Supreme Court. McConnell decided he didn't care there were months left to his term and would not hold a confirmation hearing. If Obama was allowed, as all other presidents, then we wouldn't have Neil Gorsuch. If McConnell had been speaking truth about what was right and wrong, then we wouldn't have Amy Coney Barrett taking her seat weeks before the election. There isn't much that should surprise us about what happened with the rights of women to control their own bodies being obliterated. After all, that has been the Republican platform for a long time.

Imagine what it would be like if,

When the Republicans had control over the House, Senate and White House, didn't give millions away to rich people with their take cuts. It was $1.5 Trillion but for other than the sales job they delivered, not much went to us. A lot of people didn't pay much attention to it because the economy was pretty good when they took control. That bottomed out fast. What if they invested that money into what would make our lives better instead? We'll never know because none of them tried. Would we be facing all this when corporations and the rich are racking in huge sums of money? Have you read about what the gas companies are making right now while we're trying to figure out how to pay for gas and everything else?

Imagine what it would be like if,

Republicans in the House and Senate cared about the truth or honored their oath of office the first time Trump was Impeached by the majority of the House, but the Senate didn't care about a silly thing called evidence. They wouldn't even listen to any of it and that Impeachment was about what Trump did to Ukraine, withholding money that was supposed to be provided to them for their defense. Hey least we could do considering they gave up their nukes and were worried Russia still had them. What if they got that money and then proved to Russia that the US kept their word? Would we be seeing what is going on over there now? Any of it? 

I could sit her all day and list all the things that all of us should imagine and still not mention every one of them. There are just too many including the pandemic we're still suffering from. 

Anyway, the point to this is, if you can imagine what things could have been like if we didn't give our power away by not voting since some of us think they're all bad, or our votes won't really matter, that is how we got into these messes in the first place.

If you don't pay attention and respect your own place in our history, then we will end up getting more of the same out of those who take the seats of power. 

There is another thing besides what the platform is, and it is called a plank. I think it may be time for all of us to get the ones causing all the problems to walk the plank and stop letting them sink this ship! None of what has happened would have happened if they actually imagined how much damage they would cause and if they did, then why on earth would we give them a chance to do ever worse?

Considering what they've done to delude the public into thinking the election was stolen for the presidency, but their elections were all valid, that should have clued all of in on what this has all been about. Vote as if your future depends on it, because as we've seen, it does.

Navy suicides up, and so are cockamamie conclusions

The Navy wants to boost morale after several suicides. Some sailors say it's not enough.

NBC News
By Deon J. Hampton and Melissa Chan
May 5, 2022

Team-building events are in the works for sailors on the USS George Washington, where three shipmates died by suicide within a week in April.

NEWPORT NEWS, Va. — The Navy’s plan for repairing morale on a historic warship after a rash of sailors assigned to the ship killed themselves includes team-building exercises like a video game competition, recreation and moving sailors off the ship.

But some sailors who spoke to NBC News think the efforts don’t go far enough.

The Navy plans to host a day of team-building activities and has asked each department to submit ideas for how crew members could interact off the ship, according to Lt. Cmdr. Robert Myers, a Navy spokesman.

“It could be anything,” Myers said.

A Super Smash Bros. video game competition and a soccer tournament are some of the suggestions that have been floated, according to one George Washington sailor, who asked to remain anonymous out of fear of retaliation.

However, that sailor doubted whether such events would fix what appears to be a mental health crisis on the ship.
read more here

Well alrighty then! Seems like they got a plan. I hope you caught the solutions they wanted to try.

More than 200 sailors moved off aircraft carrier after multiple suicides “Leadership is actively implementing these and pursuing a number of additional morale and personal well-being measures and support services to members assigned to USS George Washington.”

Are they kidding? Seriously? Super Smash Bros and soccer will really fix a mental health crisis about the same way reminding suicidal veterans there were a lot of other veterans committing suicide. Insanity will not help the mental health of anyone.

As for Lt. Cmdr. Robert Myers saying "It could be anything." That is yet another head smack moment.

Here's  thought, how about actually knowing enough about PTSD, trauma, stress and a lot of other things first and then maybe, it would be a good idea to go from there? If they don't understand what causes a mental health crisis by now, it's time for the leaders to be held accountable, especially when they come up with these cockamamie conclusions!