Fighting Compassion Fatigue

The price we pay for compassion
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
March 18, 2018

I just got done reading a great article on Tallahassee Democrat, Compassion Fatigue. It is yet one more subject we just don't focus on enough.

Right now I am dealing with my second bald spot on the back of my head. Yes, my hair falls out from stress, along with wrinkles on my face spreading out like a roadmap. There is a price to pay for doing this kind of work that keeps getting forgotten.

We all know the rewards of doing this work do not come with paychecks, but from changing the lives of those who trust us.

Oh, don't feel sorry for me because this is not my job. I have a regular job, with regular people. Without it, I don't think I'd be able to stay mostly positive. I just volunteer, leaving me whatever time off I want to take. Yes, I know I don't take enough time for myself, but I can when I need it. 

You don't get to do that enough. No matter how lousy your last appointment was, you have someone else coming in, with their own problems to deal with. Whatever attitude you were left with has to get pushed aside so you can focus on the one in your office at that moment. 

Remember, you are still human after all, dealing with your own life. Even though you're able to forget about "you" as a person too, that is exactly what you are. Just another human trying to make a difference.

Every night, my computer is shut off at a certain time and I go watch TV. I take naps after work to get more energy to to this, among other things I do with veterans and families. After all, I still have to take care of the veteran I married and our family too.

For the others doing this work as a career, I adore all of you! For as many times as I get burnt out, it happens to you more because you don't have the luxury of taking time out to relax.

Here is some advice. 
No matter how hard it is, find time to do something for yourself every day. 

Spend time with people who do not need you to be there, but want you to be there sharing something good.

Do something stupid simply because it is fun. (My tablet is just for games I play)

Take naps when you can or go watch a movie that will make you laugh.

Take the advice you give to everyone else and be good to yourself.

Make peace with the fact that once in a while you do have to give up on someone because they are showing no signs of being willing to do the work they need to do to heal. Defeat happens no matter how good we are or how much we know. 
Some need help but want everyone else to do it for them.

Lean on others and have someone you get to turn to when it gets to be too much for you to carry alone. Sharing the load on your shoulders is not a sign of weakness, but an opportunity to carry more.

The best advice in this is to LAUGH.

I am getting shots into my spine and they are painful going in. I am also sarcastic. The last time I had shots, I said something funny and it set off a series of jokes with the whole operating room cracking up. When the shots were done, I told my doctor it didn't hurt as much as usual. He said it was because we were all laughing.

Ok, confession, then I told him "you need to be insulted more often" and at the point he responded with "get the dull needles" which had us all laughing again.

Everything hurts less when you add some joy to it!

Veteran lost legs serving UK, then lost wheelchair

Ben lost his legs for his country, how could they take away his wheelchair?
Daily Mail
By Mark Nicol Defence Correspondent For The Mail On Sunday
17 March 2018

‘We cannot suffer in silence any longer. We need a long-term care plan in place for Ben now.’

The most seriously injured British soldier sues MoD after pay cut and lack of care
Lance Bombardier Ben Parkinson, 33, lost both of his legs while in Afghanistan
Former paratrooper wasn't expected to survive explosion in Helmand Province
Now he is suing the MoD for not provided care for him and for cutting his wages
The most seriously wounded British soldier from the war in Afghanistan is to sue the Army after claiming that defence chiefs cut his pay, put vital medical treatment in jeopardy – and failed to provide him with wheelchairs.

Lance Bombardier Ben Parkinson, 33, who suffered devastating injuries when he was blown up by the Taliban, is to bring the legal action after what his family last night described as years of broken promises and ‘deception’ by top brass over his care.

The former paratrooper was not expected to survive after losing both legs and suffering brain damage when his Land Rover hit an anti-tank mine in Helmand Province in 2006. His recovery, which has included learning to walk and talk again, has astounded doctors.

Mr Parkinson (pictured before the explosion) lost both his legs and sustained grievous damage to his spine, skull, pelvis, hands, spleen and ribcage, leaving him in a coma for months

He was allowed to stay in uniform and has been held up as an example of the Army’s commitment to wounded troops.

But today The Mail on Sunday can reveal the shocking story of Ben’s struggle for basic equipment and specialist care. Now, his furious family is suing the Ministry of Defence for Breach of Statutory Care.

As a serving soldier, Ben is not allowed to talk to the media. Speaking on his behalf, his mother Diane Dernie, 60, said: ‘Under an agreement reached with us and the NHS in 2016, the MoD is supposed to provide Ben’s wheelchairs, prosthetic limbs and specialist medical services not available to us locally on the NHS.

‘We have learned, contrary to what the Army has told us, that charities have provided two of Ben’s wheelchairs from funds donated by the public. This was a deception on their part.
read more here

Two Florida Airmen killed in Iraq helicopter crash

Two Patrick AFB airmen among those killed in Iraq helicopter crash
Florida Today
Eric Rogers
March 17, 2018

“No words can heal the pain from the loss of these true American heroes,” said Col. Kurt Matthews, commander of the 920th Rescue Wing, in a statement. “You can be proud knowing that MSgt. Posch and SSgt. Enis gave their last full measure performing their mission and serving our most noble Pararescue creed: ‘These things we do, that others may live.'"

Two airmen from the 920th Rescue Wing out of Patrick Air Force Base were among the seven crew members killed in a helicopter crash in western Iraq on Thursday.

Master Sgt. William R. Posch, 36, of Indialantic,

Lt. Gen. Maryanne Miller, chief of Air Force Reserve, presented Master Sgt. William Posch, 308th Rescue Squadron, with her commander's coin for her appreciation of his diligence and dedication over the last month in response to the back-to-back hurricanes. Posch and his teammates rescued 235 people, 21 dogs and five cats during Hurricane Harvey in Texas before returning home to Florida a few days later to evacuate their families and wing assets in preparation for Hurricane Irma. U.S. Air Force photo by Tech. Sgt. Lindsey Maurice

and Staff Sgt. Carl P. Enis, 31, of Tallahassee

Staff Sgt. Carl Enis, 31, was among the seven Airmen killed in a helicopter crash in Iraq, March 15, 2018. He was assigned to the 308th Rescue Squadron at Patrick Air Force Base, Florida. Enis was a Tallahassee, Florida, resident who joined the unit in 2010 and served for 8 years. Courtesy/Air Force

Both were assigned to the 308th Rescue Squadron, Air Force Reserve, based out of Patrick.
read more here

PTSD Patrol: Win the battle side by side

"What is behind you, is not as strong as who is beside you."
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 18, 2018

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day.

"The love of God and his fear grew in me more and more, as did the faith, and my soul was rosed, so that, in a single day, I have said as many as a hundred prayers and in the night, nearly the same. I prayed in the woods and on the mountain, even before dawn. I felt no hurt from the snow or ice or rain."

Patrick's captivity lasted until he was twenty, when he escaped after having a dream from God in which he was told to leave Ireland by going to the coast. There he found some sailors who took him back to Britain and was reunited with his family. (from Catholic.org)

Many do not understand that the day they say everyone becomes Irish, is a celebration of a victory. Patrick defeated doubt. He escaped his captors and went on to greatness.

You can escape PTSD holding you as a prisoner by defeating doubt too. Stop telling yourself that this life you are living is all you get. Stop telling yourself that getting numb is coping with PTSD. 

You defeated the thing that sent PTSD into you. Why let it win now?

I love this memorial because it shows two soldier side-by-side, walking forward, ready to face the enemy.

read more here

Veterans charities ripped off famous name

When I am driving to work and hear the commercial for this group, talk about PTSD but forget about the majority of our veterans, I have to change to another pre-set station. This group is blocked from putting up ads on my site. I've posted plenty about how much they offend me. Now, I find myself feeling sorry they had to go through having their name ripped off.

Ya, I know how that feels. Wounded Times often gets confused with this group, but since it was started back in 2007, before anyone heard of this group of "wounded" I have no plans of changing it, or going after anyone using it.  Considering the Native Americans used it first, no one really owns those two words.

In the case of what y0u're going to read, the famous group pays for their advertising, and their name more well known than what they actually do. So when people decide it is OK to use that fame for their own benefit, that is disgusting. What makes it reprehensible is they are accused of using it for their own personal lives!

4 charged with using 'Wounded Warrior' name to collect donations
STARS AND STRIPES
By DIANNA CAHN
Published: March 16, 2018

“Everything they did was for personal use,” Richard Ferretti, special agent in charge of the Louisville field office of the Secret Service, told Stars and Stripes. “No veteran’s family that we found as of yet has benefited from the money solicited.”

WASHINGTON – Using a variation on the name of one of the most well-known veterans charities, four suspects in Indiana have been charged with bilking people out of $125,000, according to federal and local law enforcement in Indiana.

The scheme involved collecting donations for two fraudulent organizations, the “Wounded Warrior Fund” and the “Wounded Warrior Foundation” – both plays on the legitimate Florida-based Wounded Warrior Project, according to the indictment, unsealed Friday.

The case was investigated by the Clark County Sheriff’s Office and the U.S. Secret Service field office in Louisville, Ky. The suspects were indicted by a grand jury Feb. 28.

According to the indictment, the scheme was led by James Linville, 44, of Clark County, Ind., who incorporated the Wounded Warrior Fund in 2011 and Wounded Warrior Foundation in 2014. He and three accomplices – Thomas Johnson, 42, and Joanie Watson, 38, along with Linville’s girlfriend Amy Lou Bennett, 40 – are under arrest, officials said. Three have pleaded guilty. The fourth was expected in court later Friday.
read more here