Wife of PTSD Veteran Seeking Help for Christmas

There are plenty of stories out there on veterans with PTSD. Stories about suicides, police standoffs and veterans courts. There are stories about homeless veterans doing heroic and inspiring things. There are not many about any of their families.

There is an appeal on the Honolulu Star Advertiser from a Mom looking for help to make Christmas a bit brighter for her children. 

Her husband is an Army veteran with PTSD and is living in a shelter right now. The impulse may be to judge her but having been through the worst times in my own marriage, all too often, this does happen. We've been married for over 3 decades, so nothing is impossible but it takes more than love to do it.

It requires knowledge and support.

Veterans fall when help is not there for the families. They are left with trying to do the best they can with what they know.

Before it gets better for any of us, we have to learn all we can about PTSD and then figure out how we can make it better, or end up making it worse for those we love.

So don't judge this Mom, but maybe we should start judging ourselves. 

If veterans are ending up homeless, there are reasons for it. If they are committing suicide, there are reasons for it. Until we actually stop the stunts and repeating slogans, more and more families will be struggling to just get from one day to the next.

Mom of 2 forges on after split with Army vet

Star Advertiser

By Nancy Arcayna 

Special to the Star-Advertiser

December 10, 2017

Sasha Pinheiro had to take on the role of a single parent after her separation from her children’s father, an Army veteran who has been struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder.

COURTESY SASHA PINHEIRO

Sasha Pinheiro and her children, A’ziah, 1, and Shaizen, 5.

“I am raising both kids on my own because their father is dealing with these medical issues and living in a shelter,” she said. “I want him to be a parent in their lives, but things are not stable right now.”

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Vietnam Veterans Bond Did Not Break After Da Nang

Years later, St. Paul veteran finds friend in soldier who protected him during Vietnam War
Pioneer Press
By KATHY BERDAN
December 9, 2017

It seems odd that a solid friendship bonds two guys who were in the same place at the same time, but didn’t know each other until more than four decades later.

But St. Paul native Tony Jensen says he probably wouldn’t be here today without Rick Williams and his men.

The two were in Da Nang, Vietnam, in 1970. Jensen was an Air Force officer in an intelligence unit. Williams calls himself a “mud Marine” protecting Jensen’s work and equipment. Williams’ sergeant warned him that if the enemy “gets past you, you’d better be dead.”

About five years ago, the two “collided, if you will,” on a tennis court in the Dayton, Ohio, area, Jensen says. The Vietnam veterans started to talk, which led to their Da Nang connection.

They share their story in a video created by public television in Dayton. It’s part of the “Vietnam Stories” project that followed filmmaker Ken Burns’ 17-hour Vietnam documentary this fall on PBS.
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Better things to do with your life than end it

Suicide Awareness Snatched Victory from Victorious 
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 9, 2017

With PTSD, it is more about what got into you, than what is wrong with you. Bet you didn't know that. 

It is more about what is the strongest part of you, than the weakness you've only been told about.

Think about how much you had to have inside of yourself to be able to do what you did. Then think about the fact you survived "IT" and beat it. You had victory over it and then some moron came along to remind you of how many veterans are killing themselves. 

How about you hear how fabulous it is to have the ability to heal?

"Let my name stand among those who are willing to bear ridicule and reproach for the truth's sake, and so earn some right to rejoice when the victory is won." Louisa May Alcott

Everyone knows I have no patience for the stunts, slogans and all the other BS that is all over social media. Some people accuse me of lying when I state the facts, and even link to the reports they came from. After all, if all they know is BS, that is what they believe. Much like if all you hear about is BS about how many of you have given up, you think that is all there is.

You have had enough bad messages already. The one message they should have been delivering all along is that TOMORROW CAN BE A LOT BETTER as long as you see the truth that you are a survivor and stop being victimized by anyone trying to keep you down.

Rise up! Yesterday you knew something that was not true. You knew that you were suffering but as you sat in a fog, you told yourself that was a good as it could be. It isn't today and now you don't have any excuse to settle for getting numb. 

"Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out." Edwin Markham Brainy Quotes 

PTSD hits survivors. The harder you get hit depends on the strength of your emotional core. I know what you're thinking and you have it backwards. 

The stronger you feel good stuff, the stronger you feel bad stuff. If it bounces off the other guys, does not penetrate them, their emotional core is being protected by their sense of self and not selflessness. Those guys can walk away and leave it, but you took it all on your shoulders and carried it with you.

Just a reminder of all the Medal of Honor PTSD veterans there are, and think about how tough they were. How much did they care about others? How much courage did they have within them? Then wonder what would have happened if they did not care so much more for the others than they did for themselves.

Making more sense now?

In March, "Roger Donlon, the first Medal of Honor recipient from the Vietnam War" had this to say, "And that's the bottom line behind all the actions on the battlefield – the mortal battlefield of combat and the other battlefields of life – [that] in my mind, in my heart, were driven by love."

Risking your life for someone else is always driven by love. Healing your life needs to start there and then you can stop listening to folks talk about what you no longer have to look forward to. You have better things to do with the rest of your life now!

VA paid out roughly $1.1 billion to break promises

VA wants $782 million for electronic health records overhaul...still? may have shocked you, but the GAO has an even bigger shocker.

The Government Accountability Office found that VA paid out roughly $1.1 billion between fiscal 2011 and 2016 to contractors working to update the agency’s outdated Veterans Information Systems and Technology Architecture system. The agency has relied on the platform to manage health records for its 9 million beneficiaries since the 1980s.

The department gave the bulk of the billion to 15 contractors—one of which is getting a sole-source $10 billion contract to try again.
NextgovJack CorriganDecember 8, 2017 
The Veterans Affairs Department wasted more than a billion dollars over six years attempting to upgrade its electronic health records system before scrapping the projects in June, according to a congressional watchdog.
Fifteen individual contractors received about two-thirds of the money spent during that period, and the remaining funds were distributed among 123 other firms. The VA has since announced plans to give one of those 15 major contractors, Cerner Corp., another crack at modernizing the agency’s health IT with a sole-source $10 billion contract to rebuild its medical record management platform.
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And what did veterans get out of all that money? Backlog of claims, missing records and misery!

What they sure didn't get was an apology from members of Congress.

Deeper Problem When Life Savers Commit Suicide

First Responders Should Never Be Last Lives Saved
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 9, 2017

We can talk all we want about "suicide awareness" but when we're talking about men and women, valuing the lives of others so much, they are willing to die for strangers, dying by choice should never happen.

That is the point to all of this, or at least it should be. Whenever you read statistics about civilians committing suicide, it is vital to consider that those who serve the rest of us, are just as human as the rest of us. Now try to imagine those humans ready to face the day knowing it could be their last one on their job, and on this earth.

None of this is new.

"For many first responders, post-traumatic stress disorder is becoming part of the job." 

"Becoming part of the job" is what this article implies. The trouble is, when you look at the research on the link, it is clear, PTSD has been part of the job for a very long time.

In the wake of suicide: Developing guidelines for suicide postvention in fire service

Because of the nature of the job, many of the 1.1 million firefighters in the United States are routinely exposed to high levels of traumatic and occupational stress (Beaton and Murphy, 1993; Haynes and Stein, 2014; Kimbrel et al., 2011), both of which are associated with mental health problems such as PTSD, alcohol use, and depression (e.g., Byrne and Espnes, 2008; Corneil, Beaton, Murphy, Johnson, and Pike, 1999; Kimbrel et al., 2011; Murphy, Beaton, Pike, and Johnson, 1999; North et al., 2002; Tak, Driscoll, Bernard, and West, 2007). Of most relevance to the current project is that these disorders are associated with increased risk for suicide (e.g., Cougle, Keough, Riccardi, and Sachs-Ericsson, 2009; Kessler, Borges, and Walters, 1999; Nock et al., 2009). Thus, the stresses of the job and frequency of these high-risk disorders among emergency responders has led to the rising concern about suicide in fire service (Armstrong, 2014; Dill and Lowe, 2012; Finney et al., 2015; Gliha, 2010; Miller, 2015; Peluso, 2010).

Shouldn't we be asking why they are not taken care of after all these years? We depend on them being there when we need them. When exactly do we show up when they need us?

First Responders, Families Fight For PTSD Coverage Under Workers Comp

WFSU By KATE PAYNE • 12 HOURS AGO

Credit Ariel Dovas via flickr

First responders run towards crashes, emergencies and catastrophes, not away from them. And for some, their experiences are leading to post traumatic stress disorder. But in Florida, first responders who develop PTSD on the job don’t get compensated, unless they have a physical injury as well. Now there are efforts at the statehouse to change that. A note to listeners, the following story includes frank discussion of death and suicide. 
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