Wishing you a happier new year

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 2, 2025

I can't change anything that happened last year, the year before, or decades before. I can't change anything that happened yesterday. All I can change is right now.

Yesterday was the first day of the new year. The night before, I went to bed long before midnight. I made up for it by opening a bottle of champagne and drinking half the bottle. I was celebrating the first day of the new year with all its possibilities. 

I remember how sad it was to hear someone say "Happy New Year" when my life was a mess. One of my friends understood what I was going through and gave me hope when she wished me a happier new year. That was long ago, but to this day, I cherish it and her.

Sometimes that's all we need. Sometimes, being reminded that we can become happier is the best gift.

It's like when we need someone to listen to us, but they try to fix us instead of saying, "I'm here for you," which can hurt more than it helps. When they listen to us until we're done talking, maybe they give us a hug, perhaps they visit us, or they could call us. They do so many simple things for us because they know when we need them and what we need them for.

So, here's to a happier new year for all my readers with #PTSD because it can be a happier one for all of us.

Christmas isn't so merry for all of us

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 25, 2024

If you had a not-so-merry Christmas, you're not alone.

If you felt you didn't fit in with family and friends over the last few days, no one will ever see a commercial in which you are not celebrating. Commercials are intended to pull heartstrings enough to cause you to buy what they're selling, so reminding them that people are suffering instead of celebrating would be a downer. We get avoided and, most of the time, ignored. Many of us don't have anyone, so we spent today alone, remembering when we had people in our lives and reasons to celebrate.

I avoid news, coverage of Christmas parades, and anything related to Christmas on TV. Instead, I watch supernatural movies and shows on streaming channels, so I won't have to see commercials reminding me of how we're supposed to be happy.

If you have #PTSD, surviving the "IT" was just the start of our adjusting to the new normal no one warned us about. Usually, we're surrounded by people who don't know what it's like for us, and most of the time, it's because we won't tell them. It may sound strange, but we can isolate even with people around us.

Here are reminders that while you may feel lonely, you are far from alone.

You don't have to have PTSD to be alone.

America's top doctor declares LONELINESS an epidemic and warns it's as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day

Millions of Americans will be celebrating on their own this Christmas amid a nationwide loneliness epidemic, a survey has revealed.

Lonely night: Interactive map reveals how many Americans will spend Christmas alone in YOUR state

A new poll showed that around 19 million Americans are due to spend Christmas alone this year, which is one in 14 adults.

Over a Million New Yorkers Are Spending Christmas Alone

A recent study found that more than a third of adults 45 or older experience loneliness, with nearly a quarter of adults 65 or older considered socially isolated.

The research cited in the report shows this has been happening even before the COVID-19 pandemic began. Increases in the risk of anxiety, depression, heart disease, dementia and stroke were also linked to the lack of social connection.

Spending Christmas alone this year? How to make the most of it New York psychologist Dr. Bryant Williams agreed, noting that being alone during the holidays "accentuates existing problems."

So there you have it. You are not alone being alone. Tomorrow will be a different day. I usually spend it shopping to buy things I need on sale. I have more money to do it since I'm not spending money on Christmas decorations no one will see. Gee one more helpful hint, look on the bright side of even this.

Understanding the PTSD painkiller is the start of healing

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 14, 2024

Change your brain's perception of the pain from PTSD.

When we have physical pain, doctors prescribe medication to block pain receptors in our brains. Cleveland Clinic explains how they work with this,

"...analgesics don’t turn off nerves, change the ability to sense your surroundings, or alter consciousness."

 What they do is this, 

"Analgesic opioids (also called narcotics) work by changing the brain’s perception of pain."

When you have #PTSD,  there is something that will not only change your brain's perception of pain, it will change your ability to alter your consciousness. It isn't magic, although some call it a miracle. It is waking up one day to discover suffering does not have to follow what you survived.

The only way for PTSD to strike is to survive something. The National Center for PTSD has a list of what can cause it. The first painkiller is understanding how many others are going through the same thing as you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Part of surviving is the tendency to become paranoid of others, especially when someone causes the trauma. You can have panic attacks and mood swings and experience the flight or fight response. 

That was the most significant result I had to deal with. My first husband tried to kill me and then stalked me. I moved over a thousand miles away from him, but the memory of what he did followed me. He drove a muscle car, and the sound sent me over the edge. Logically, I knew it wasn't him, but my memories overtook my awareness. I still find it strange this event took such a hold over me that I couldn't shake it off until I became aware he passed away. I survived over nine other events that left residual, but I was able to shake off enough to overcome the emotional rollercoaster ride from hell.

Anger is one of those pesky responses that can push people you care about away from you. Yep, been there too. It isn't fun.

Knowledge is also a painkiller you don't need a pill for. The pain of survival could have taken over my life, but I am stubborn. There was no way I would allow it to rip me apart from what I believed. While there are dangers in the world and things happen, we have no control over them. I knew we only control ourselves. I am also an inquisitive person. I needed to know what PTSD was because of my husband. He survived Vietnam. While most people believe PTSD only strikes veterans, it strikes a large percentage of survivors. 

Some of us need a psychologist—I did. Most of us need to know that there is hope of living a happier life because we're humans. Having someone willing to listen to us without trying to fix us is a painkiller.

Having someone share why they understand us because of their own experiences is a painkiller.

Knowing my family loved me and my friends cared about me was a painkiller. They had no way of knowing what I was going through because I didn't. I couldn't explain it to them until I learned what was causing my changes. The strange thing is, that was over 40 years ago when I was researching Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to understand my husband. I understood what surviving did to me, so I was able to understand what it did to veterans. What I didn't know was I had a rare case of PTSD tied to my first husband because of a lifetime of survival and my knowledge of PTSD. If it sounds screwed up to you, it was to me too.

Once you decide you're tired of being unhappy, read all you can, talk to someone you trust, share what you are going through, and let people know it isn't caused by them. Learn to lean on someone, and then you can offer a shoulder to someone else. Be willing to become their painkiller and hope maker.

Veterans should ask for fewer government benefits?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 9, 2024

When a politician tells you their plan, you need to listen before you vote for them! 

Veterans are freaking out, and rightfully so. The first time Donald Trump was president, he wanted to cut veterans' benefits. Congress wouldn't let that happen. Now that he wants to do it again, they will likely let him do whatever he wants. 

Considering Trump is planning on cutting Medicare, which seniors paid for while they worked, more veterans will need the VA healthcare benefits they earned but did not apply for. Too many veterans rejected applying for benefits because they thought others were worse off than they were and needed it more. And now, making matters worse, the plan is to cut benefits for veterans!

CNN reported Hegseth and Collins’ push for cutting veterans’ health benefits alarms service members and veterans groups

If confirmed, Hegseth and Collins will have the opportunity to push for a dramatic overhaul of the military and veteran health care system, one that could significantly cut government health benefits for service members and veterans – many of which Hegseth says veterans should not be asking for at all.

It was March 2018, and then-President Donald Trump was meeting with his Department of Veterans Affairs Secretary, Dr. David Shulkin, about how to reform veteran health care. But it was Hegseth, then a Fox News personality, whose opinion Trump really wanted.

Hegseth, now Trump’s nominee to serve as secretary of defense, had been a vocal and persistent advocate for veterans having unfettered access to private health care, rather than having to go through the VA to keep their benefits. He’s also lobbied for policies that would restrict VA care and believes veterans should ask for fewer government benefits.
read the rest here

I've heard many veterans say they voted for him, but I didn't hear any of them say they listened to him. None of them had a clue, and now it's too late. The only thing we can do is make sure we do all we can so our members of the House and Senate stand up for us.

Where witches existed beyond the boundaries of imagination

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 7, 2024

When was the last time some change in your life turned out to be a good one? I know I was apprehensive any time it did. When you survive the thing that caused #PTSD, it changes you into a survivor.  Some people love to remind us of that, but when we deal with the changes it causes, we become terrified the next time something changes.

The Scribe of Salem: "Ministers of the Mystery by Kathie Costos is an enthralling debut in a series that seamlessly blends fantasy, supernatural horror, and elements of spirituality."

His life sucked! Every change that happened to him over the last seven years was terrible. It was September 13, 2019, precisely seven years after he survived a bomb blast in Afghanistan. He wasn't sitting at the bar of the Bishop Hotel celebrating. He has been lamenting his losses since then. PTSD killed his career as a combat journalist. When he returned home, his wife wasn't grateful he survived. She tried to kill him. That wasn't enough for her. She stalked him. Drinking to numb himself left him jobless and homeless. He couldn't leave LA fast enough, so he let his wife have their condo.

He took his time returning to Salem, visiting churches along the way, searching for God, and trying to fill the spiritual void. He didn't find anything to fill it. He left his hometown as a successful reporter. He came back as a successful failure.

So, he sat at the bar while his only friend poured him drinks and listened to him between customers. After listening to him every night for three years, Ed knew almost everything about Chris. What he didn't know was just an hour before Chris walked into the bar, he tried to kill himself.

And then it happened. The change entered the door and set off a series of events that would send Chris into a world no reporter had ever encountered: a world of secret societies and conspiracies, a world where witches existed beyond the boundaries of imagination.

Are you tired of people saying the Bible is the written word of God while failing to see that God didn't make mistakes or edit its errors and omissions? God inspired it, but we all know human thoughts, emotions, and agendas get in the way. We also know that other books were left out of our Bibles. Want to learn how you have the power to reach out to God on your own without anyone getting in the way? Want to know about the passages members of the clergy won't give sermons on?

Suppose you believe in reincarnation, spirituality, and gifts within all of our spirits and are willing to witness the transformation of this successful failure. In that case, you can read the series at half off. 

Get caught up before the 1st Witch Of Salem is published next year.

Get The Scribe Of Salem at 50% off! You can also read The Visionary Of Salem and the 13th Minister Of Salem at this discounted price with the link to the Ministers Of The Mystery Series.

Now is your best chance to find my entire ebook collection for a promotional price at @Smashwords as part of their 2024 End of Year Sale! Find my books and many more at https://www.smashwords.com/shelves/promos/ through January 1! #SmashwordsEoYSale #Smashwords