Are dark empaths using your pain?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 22, 2024

Beware of dark empaths! They feed off your pain, grief, and fears!

Stay calm, but I've been working on the next book, the 1st Witch Of Salem. It won't be finished until 2025. I can't give the story away, but one of the significant themes addresses what makes us us. It is the spirit within us.

"Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” John 4:23-24

I no longer consider myself "religious," but I still believe in God and Jesus. This may seem confusing until you understand that churches have managed to divide people with their manmade rules and conditions. Jesus made no such demands. I find more comfort and power when speaking directly to God through my spirit. So yes, you can be one while not being the other.

Our spirits are immortal because they are created in His image. Our bodies are biological, but our spirits hold meaning to our lives. Everything that makes us who we are lives in our spirit and the spirit lives in our minds. Psychologists have been trying to figure out the magical components dwelling in our minds for centuries. Recently, they concluded that there are findings they cannot put into a box of what has become rational.

They have been studying empaths. Empaths can feel your pain, grief, and fears. They pay an emotional price while trying to help you. After trying to figure out what makes someone a sociopath, some began to focus on dark empaths. They can feel all that comes from your spirit; instead of paying a price to help you, they feed off it and use it to manipulate you.

Dark empaths are skilled at expressing empathy in a cognitive way rather than an emotional way, and the emotional distance they retain while operating equips them with a laser focus to achieve their ends through manipulation, gaslighting, or bullying.

I discovered this while researching the meaning of empaths. I have empathy, but there are different types of empaths. Discovering the meaning became vital because I met an empath, Jennifer of Lilac City Paranormal. I sought her out because I needed to understand how no one seems to agree on what happens to spirits after our bodies die.

Some, like me, believe in reincarnation. I also believe in heaven and hell. The belief in a spirit realm made it more complicated, and ghosts exist. How can all of it exist? Jennifer explained that it can. She willingly accepts the emotional pain she has to endure because she uses her spiritual gift to help others. I could feel that and see it in her eyes. When she spoke about how much pain they were in, I saw her grief. When she talked about the people she helped, I saw joy. No one can fake that.

Dark empaths find faking they want to help easy to do. Knowing people have emotional/spiritual needs, they pretend to have the ability to make us feel better. The only one they care about is themselves. We may walk away feeling empowered by anger toward others and hatred for anyone we can blame for our pain. Sure, that can take our minds off the cause of our pain, redirecting our negative energy to the forefront of our minds, but the pain lingers. Sooner or later, we regret having trusted someone with our deepest emotions. We already find it hard to trust someone when we live with #PTSD. Encountering a dark empath can get in the way of reaching out for help from anyone else. It's hard enough to find hope, but once they get their claws into us, we give up.

It makes it worse when they could be in any position they choose to do. Religious leaders, politicians, lawyers, doctors, coworkers, and bosses can all be dark empaths. They hide it well unless you understand what they do more than what they look like.

If you fall prey to a dark empath, there is something that can offer you comfort. Some don't want to live that way, and they even seek help to live a better life.

While dark empaths can change—especially with counseling—they must first acknowledge and show remorse for what they have done to you and be willing to change for the better.

Dark empaths are not the same as the dark triad.

The term “dark triad” was coined by researchers in 2002 to identify someone with personality traits that don’t meet the criteria for a formal diagnosis of associated personality disorders.

It consists of three personality traits: psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism.

A person with the personality traits of the dark triad may have signs of one or all these traits. They may exhibit:

lack of respect and empathy for others
arrogance
an unhealthy fascination with themselves
manipulation and lying
a need for attention and praise
an unhealthy preoccupation with gaining power
violent or aggressive behavior
lack of remorse or regret

Once you realize that even they can change, you begin to understand their spirits are trying to wake them up. Until they do, you are better off staying away from them when you can, or if not, realize they cannot be trusted with your emotions. It is one thing for someone to say they feel your pain but never intend to help you. It is miraculous for them to say they feel your pain and then do what they can to help you. The good news is there are more givers than the users.

(The cover design for the new book is done)

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
April 15, 2024

#PTSD made us aware monsters are real, so are miracles!

The Scribe Of Salem by Kathie Costos

Ministers Of The Mystery series is a different view of the supernatural world, spiritual powers, secret societies, and conspiracy.

Chris did not doubt what he was supposed to do with his life. He was supposed to become a priest to minister to the people. It was not until his senior year of high school he questioned it. He became a reporter to reach more people than he could in a church. He still loved God.

After three life-threatening events, his thoughts of miracles and God changed into, “that He’s a vindictive son of a bitch playing around with people’s lives and making us suffer for fun."

Why did I have to write these books?

I know monsters are real. They are not just in supernatural shows I watch or books I read. Some of them came after me. Others tried to take over my life. So why do I love that genre so much? It may seem screwed up to you, but it is because there is a supernatural book that is also a part of me, and that is the Bible. I find it fascinating that there is so much in it, you will never hear in a church sermon. The more hidden treasures I found, the more I turned away from organized religious practices and dogma. Religions, no matter which one, have been used to control others and corrupted by humans. Spirituality is up to the individual to answer for themselves. It is about doing the right thing for no reason other than the right thing to do. It feeds the spirit in us.

It may seem odd to you but that is exactly what Jesus taught. Today Christianity has been corrupted by so many that it is unrecognizable to what He established.

If you are Christian, can you also be spiritual? Yes, and it is required. Jesus said His followers needed to pray by their spirits because that is what His Father is. What gets me is when they do not seem to grasp how supernatural elements are all over the Bible. They call them miracles but do not focus on the power behind them.

I am a Christian, but not religious because I no longer attend church. We're put into a category called "nones," or spiritual but not religious. I believe like most in having a soul but found it starved by organized religious rules.

"What Jesus meant when he said his kingdom is not of this world and is to be found within, is largely forgotten. In short, the church lacks radical alternatives and spiritual depth." Mark Vernon

While I was active in a Greek Orthodox Church most of my life it fed my connection to God and Jesus. Faith to me was as natural as breathing. It didn't matter what happened to me when I was suffering because of what others did while wondering why it all happened, I never once doubted the existence of God. He did not do any of it to me but saved me each and every time. I taught Sunday School, sang in the choir and served on committees. I dreamed of becoming a priest but as a woman, that wasn't allowed. I thought about changing my affiliation to another branch of the faith, but it seemed wrong to me. Later in life I worked for a Presbyterian Church as Administrator of Christian Education. Long story shortened, I ended up leaving church life all together because the division between people following the same Bible and claiming to be followers of Jesus no longer made sense to me.

As I studied the Bible more, it became clear that the rules and dogma were about people using faith for their own purposes. While I do believe the Bible was inspired by God, I also believe it was written by human interpretation of what knowledge God gave them. The other thing I noticed in all of the people considered to be heroes, were all flawed and messed up what they were supposed to do. Their spirits were sent with supernatural gifts to achieve their purpose. And so were we.

Over 40 years ago I started to help people heal after surviving life ending threats spiritually because that's how I healed after over 10 of them. In a way, I ended up doing what my spirit was sent to do in a different way than I thought I was supposed to do. There is no earthly reason to explain what God gave me and the churches wanted nothing to do with any of it. Their ambivalence only stopped me from wanting to be a part of them but did not pull me away from God. Walking away from religious buildings pulled me closer to God spiritually.  

I needed a new way of delivering the same message but could not think of a way to do it. I prayed, and prayed and then prayed some more. The prayer was answered and the result was the Ministers Of The Mystery series. It blends everything I am and know with what I enjoy to read and watch.  

Supernatural books, movies, and shows I watch seem to be centered on good people going up against evil people. The evil ones have the powers while the good ones are only human. In the show, Supernatural brothers Dean and Sam fight monsters with no supernatural powers of their own until both of them are taken over by evil. Their friend, Cas, is a flawed angel trying to do good but messing up all the time. Grimm is another show capturing the same theme of good versus evil but Nick has a supernatural ability to see the monsters no one else can see. Both series tend to use occult references more than they use Biblical ones, yet the Bible is full of supernatural accounts.

The Scribe Of Salem, Visionary Of Salem and 13th Minister Of Salem are fictional but based on scriptures few hear of in the walls of the building while listening to a sermon. If you read the ebooks, you'll find the links to the scripture backing it up. The series is about suffering and healing #PTSD with the help of people sent to support others. A new view of a conspiracy by a secret society committed to doing good in this world with supernatural powers given to them by God.

With so many books out there it's time to give them away as a guide to discover the power you were born with to do good in this world too. The eBook of The Scribe Of Salem is free until the end of April. If you read it, please let me know what you think by leaving a review or comment. When my life gets back to strangely normal, I will be working on the 4th book and want to know what you think about the way it all started.

The Scribe Of Salem not written to make church people comfy

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 27, 2023

How many times have you read a review and wondered what was behind it? The answer in this review, while mostly positive, the reviewer wrote that the characters were so well developed that "I felt like I knew them," but then wrote how they didn't seem real because of all the scriptures. Guess it made sense to the reviewer as a person with a minister in the family. The thing is, the Ministers Of The Mystery Series was not intended to make church people comfortable. It is intended to open a world where love and miracles still exist, even for those who never set foot in a church, or feel they didn't belong there.

When a religion based on love and miracles is used against people they hate it becomes a war of powers.

This is the review that shows not all "religious" people feel the same way. Consider I was one of them believing that the Greek Orthodox faith was the right one, and everyone else was wrong. I grew up to notice what all of them had in common and how the man-made rules had nothing to do with uniting but causing the diving. I was the Administrator of Christian Education for a Presbyterian church and wanted to focus on what the two faiths had in common but some saw only the difference between them and me. One of my best friends is a Presbyterian minister. (She loved the book by the way.) She preaches on YouTube with Musings of a Preacher Lady as a sci-fi lover as well as pastor of a church in Texas. Others do not view scriptures the same way.

Reviewed by Jamie Michele for Readers' Favorite ****
In the first book of the Christian fiction series Ministers Of The Mystery, The Scribe of Salem by Kathie Costos, protagonist Chris Papadopoulos ventures to Salem, Massachusetts to pay tribute to a deceased friend with others who knew him well. He meets with longtime friends from when he was a journalist and war correspondent, one of whom tells him an old flame with a troubled history named Brenda has died. Chris is at a crossroads and is introduced to Mandy, a theological savant who Chris connects with on multiple levels. Chris becomes the unlikely beneficiary of an inheritance, relocates to Salem, and reinvents himself as an outstanding novelist. Mandy serves as his inspiration, and Chris is driven by prayer and devotion to God. His friends share the same view and spread messages bound in scripture and earthly angels for the betterment of others. Everything is on the ascent for Chris until an extortion plot dredges up a former relationship that rocks him to the core. “On the night I needed it the most, miracles walked into my life one after another.” 

The Scribe of Salem by Kathie Costos puts the transcendent nature of pure belief at the core with an openly evangelical story and a cast of characters who have experienced their own miracles. The standout to me is a friend and bartender named Ed who is arguably the starting point in Chris's spiritual pilgrimage. Costos develops her characters thoroughly so I felt like I knew them. However, despite this, I struggled with their not coming across as real people. Their discussions were almost entirely scripture based and even as a reader with a proud, devout Baptist minister in my immediate family, the way the characters spoke came across to me as awkward. That said, the plot points are good, the pandemic setting in New England lends to the atmosphere, and Chris is a character we do want to root for. At the end of the day, those are the qualities that round it all out.

The scriptures used are buried in the dialog; if you read it as an eBook, there are links to show where it came from. Almost all of them are not ones you'll hear in a church sermon. Even if you did, you may not have thought about the meaning behind those words.

Think of the Bible as a spiritual book instead of a "religious" one. Religion is what divides the one faith Jesus came to share. Humans used all His love as the power to hold over others. That message was abundantly clear during the Salem Witchcraft trials along with all the other times religion was used to either convert or destroy instead of comfort and empower. 

When your life seems like one endless series of doom and gloom trying to take over, and you do not know the truth about what it all means, it is easy to blame God instead of other humans doing what they can to use your pain for their own gain. When you know the power is all within you to change your life, as well as the lives of others, that is a miracle.

Reviewed by Asher Syed for Readers' Favorite *****
The Scribe of Salem: Ministers Of The Mystery by Kathie Costos is a Christian fiction novel that revolves around Chris Papadopoulos, a former war reporter. In Salem, Massachusetts, Chris reunites with his friend Bill Gibson and learns of the death of Bill's sister Brenda. Chris joins his military comrades to honor their fallen comrade, discovering an intriguing woman named Mandy. Chris embarks on a transformative journey, seeking help from Mandy to regain control of his life. Inspired by their encounters and encouraged by friends, Chris finds the strength to write a book that becomes a bestseller, offering solace during the trying times of a pandemic. Chris finds unexpected fame in a series of events that catapult him into a public recognition, but when Chris faces a harrowing blackmail attempt, both how strong his faith in God is and how solid his group of friends is are tested to their fullest.

The parallels between the persecution of witches and the persecution of open Christians set the foundational theme in The Scribe of Salem by Kathy Costos. The novel is a no-holds-barred story of faith and will resonate well with readers who enjoy Christian fiction in a way where scripture and conversational sermons run through almost every scene, as opposed to the more nuanced approach that is found in most fiction within the same genre. Costos' style might not be as elegant, but it certainly does get the message across. I liked the contemporary setting and the way the characters are confronted with incidents surrounding COVID-19 protocols. As an observer, these feel really authentic and do well in exploring the group's unique contributions in the fight against chaos and darkness, to which the pandemic adds an additional layer, and realizing the profound impact of their connections and gifts. The full circle that the ending brings is satisfying in that there is closure; a relief given the possibility of a book in a series ending with a cliffhanger. Recommended.

You may think you are powerless to change things. You may think you are only one person and can't do much at all. Think again on both parts especially if you have PTSD. Too many miracles have already happened because someone decided to take one more try at healing and then healed more than he ever dreamed of.

If you want to know what Ministers of the Mystery have to tell you, read The Scribe Of Salem and begin your own journey to using the gifts you already have inside of you!

What do they need to hear?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 18, 2023

Sometimes it isn't what they want to hear. The thing is, it is always what they need to hear.

The Shock

When you transitioned from your normal life, into the victim, and onto survivor, those were massive changes to deal with.

First, there is the shock that it happened to you. One moment you were just like everyone else. Or was it just how you assumed everyone was? The reality is, everyone has a backstory that you didn't know. And now, most people won't know what your backstory is unless you tell them.

How do you do that? How do you explain to them how your life changed without warning and so did you? It may frighten them because suddenly they become aware their life can also change without warning too.

As you go through the changes of PTSD, the people in your life do as well.

The Denial

They want to deny it changed you almost as much as you do.

You left your house and the people in your life as they always knew you to be, but returned to them as a survivor. They are confused. They don't understand what it is like for you. Some may want to give you time to return to how you were. You may expect that too. Some will want to give you space and leave you alone to "deal" with it. That may be what you want too.

A time comes when they expect you to just "get over it" so everyone can go back to the way things were before. They get tired of hearing about it. You get tired of trying to explain to them something they will never fully understand unless it happens to them. It is worse when you don't understand it either.

How do you find the words to communicate what they need to hear? You start by finding the words you need to hear for yourself to understand. There are over 40 years of research online now and even more books you can find that were out there longer you can find. There are videos online to help you, not just understand, but to find comfort in the simple fact you are not alone.

Things change when you change the conversation you have with them.

In The Scribe Of Salem, that is how lives were changed for all the characters in the book.

Reviewed by Parul Sood for Readers' Favorite The Scribe of Salem: Ministers of the Mystery by Kathie Costos is an enthralling debut in a series that seamlessly blends fantasy, supernatural horror, and elements of spirituality. The story follows Chris, a former war journalist grappling with PTSD from his fieldwork and a turbulent marriage that subjected him to abuse. Struggling to find purpose and often drowning his sorrows in alcohol, Chris's life takes an unexpected turn when he reconnects with an old friend, sparking a newfound hope. As Chris engages in conversations and encounters that seem divinely guided, he begins to believe that a higher power is watching over him and urging him to seek out Mandy—a healer who has transformed his friend's life. Fueled by this belief, Chris embarks on a quest to find Mandy, not only to document her spiritual teachings in a book but also in the hope of transforming his own life.

In The Scribe of Salem, Kathie Costos skillfully weaves a narrative that delves into Chris's struggles and his journey toward healing and self-discovery. The author's exploration of spirituality goes beyond conventional religious boundaries, inviting readers to contemplate the profound power of faith in oneself and in the presence of something greater. Through Chris's meeting with Mandy, readers are taken on a captivating journey that merges supernatural horror with the themes of redemption, personal growth, and the transformative nature of spiritual experiences. The characters in The Scribe of Salem are vividly depicted and elicit empathy from readers. Chris's emotional journey resonates deeply as he confronts his past traumas and seeks solace and meaning in a world that often feels bleak. Costos's adept characterization brings authenticity and relatability to the story, allowing readers to connect with the protagonist on his quest for redemption.

Every single one of them had to find the courage to tell their backstory. They could offer hope because someone took the time to give it to them. It is a healing chain passed on from one to another, quietly, without seeking anything for themselves. The only thing they wanted was to pass on what was given to them.

So what is it people need to hear from you? They can't help you if they do not know what you need. They will only make assumptions about what you are going through, and most of the time, it comes out negatively. With understanding, help can come elevating needless turmoil and restoring hope. None of it can happen until you decide to say what you don't want to, so they can hear what they need to.

what the churchless need to find to heal #PTSD

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
July 17, 2022

If you found what you're looking for spiritually in a church, my latest books are not what you're looking for. They are not what you need to find. They are for those who feel they are not "good" enough to even enter a church, or be around the people that do attend church services. They are what the churchless need to find.

Some people seem to think that COVID is the reason for the drop in church attendance, but it isn't.

GALLUP

As you can see, there has been a decline for a long time. For 40 years, I helped people with PTSD and it was obvious most people seeking help, were turned off or turned away from churches. Like most people in this country, they do not attend any kind of religious service. That is a huge problem when researchers have found spiritual help is vital to the healing process for survivors.

Meaning-Making and Grief Spiritual and religious beliefs can either help or hinder trauma survivors in their attempts to create a healthy understanding of traumatic events and ultimately make meaning from the events. If trauma survivors believe that their Higher Power failed them, or that the traumatic events were punishment for past sins, these beliefs could result in anger toward their Higher Power and disconnection from spiritual or religious support. If trauma survivors view their Higher Power as a source of support and comfort, they may be able to understand the traumatic experience as a challenge set before them that can be overcome. They may then explore what has been gained from the traumatic experience; have an increased connection with their Higher Power through the healing process; rely on their spiritual or religious support; and feel stronger for having lived through the traumatic event.

Crystal Park and colleagues have theorized about how meaning develops during exposure to traumatic and loss events, and how religion and spirituality can provide a framework that may aid the development of meaning. They suggest that two levels of meaning are involved in coping with trauma.

If you don't fit in a church, for whatever reason, the first thing you need to know is that the word "church" is not what you may think it means.

This is from Stranger Angels Among Us, Part 2 of The Lost Son Alive Again

Greer shrugged her shoulders and smiled, “I don’t know but when I listened to my Dad, I had all kinds of images coming into my head. There’s a lot that isn’t written down. My Dad said we can only imagine what is not known by knowing what is known.”

They all noticed her face changed and her back stiffened up. David took her hand, “What just happened? What’s going on with you?”

“I just remembered what else Stephen said. God! I wish I remembered it when Chris was being accused of wanting to take down the church!”

“What else did he say?”

“He said that God doesn’t live in houses built by human hands. That He created everything.” She turned to Chris, “I’m sorry that I didn’t remember that. He was saying what others said before him and that God didn’t want buildings and when Jesus said that Peter was the rock He wasn’t talking about a stone one but a living one. He told the people to pray to His Father directly. People use the word church without understanding what Jesus was talking about. Ekklesia means ‘the called out ones’ and was about God’s people, not a building. That is exactly what you’ve been saying.”

Chris covered his mouth while he started at Greer. David looked at him, “She’s right. I didn’t remember that either but somehow I knew you were on the right track with what you’ve been saying all along. I mean, if a fire burns down a church, people can still pray on their own. How many churches have had to close and ended up being sold, turned into a house, or office space because people stopped going to them? Safe bet people didn’t think that God died just because their church did. They’re all just places and not some kind of super-connector to God.”

Bill added, “Just like my Dad and Mandy. They prayed directly to God and didn’t need a church building to do it for them.”

“You’re all right.” He turned to Greer, “That helped and in a way, I’m glad you didn’t remember it before because that would have reinforced the things I’ve been accused of doing. Now that I know that, I’ll know what to say the next time.”

Now you know that you don't have to go into a building to reach God. The next thing that is important to know is that you don't have to be perfect either. The characters in The Lost Son Alive Again, do not go to church. Each one of them felt pushed out and pushed away from God until someone helped them find their way back to Him again. 

None of the people in these books escaped PTSD unchanged, but they discovered they can change again with help.

When people hear PTSD, they immediately think it applies to only veterans, but the truth is, it strikes survivors of all other events too. While there are some veterans in these books, there are also survivors of almost every other thing you survived. They helped one another heal because while they did not experience the same events, they understood what surviving did to them, as much as they knew what healing did for them.

There is drinking, Ok, a lot of drinking because the main character self-medicated. There is some adult language because let's face it, people swear, especially when they are angry. These people shared their struggles and torments, doubts, and fears and also shared what it was like to heal. They gave hope back to the one who was lost so he could give hope to everyone else struggling.

It is magical realism because there are supernatural aspects throughout, which Christians are supposed to believe, and all other faiths believe happened, but for some reason, think they stopped happening. The fact you survived whatever could have killed you was a miracle, so it should be easy for you to know they do still happen.

Don't be afraid to read these books because another thing they are not is, sad. Sure they start out that way but so does PTSD. There is a process to healing it and you'll see that in these pages. 

PTSD People Awareness Month

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 1, 2022

Today begins PTSD Awareness Month. If you go to that link, it goes to the Department of Veterans Affairs. Appropriately since what trauma does to survivors began to be researched by studying Vietnam Veterans. The thing is, if you read what is within the pages you'll find the word "people" and not just veterans.

PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) is a mental health problem that some people develop after experiencing or witnessing a life-threatening event, like combat, a natural disaster, a car accident, or sexual assault.

It’s normal to have upsetting memories, feel on edge, or have trouble sleeping after this type of event. At first, it may be hard to do normal daily activities, like go to work, go to school, or spend time with people you care about. But most people start to feel better after a few weeks or months.

If it’s been longer than a few months and you’re still having symptoms, you may have PTSD. For some people, PTSD symptoms may start later on, or they may come and go over time.

If I had one wish, it would be that this month would bring awareness that PTSD strikes survivors, all of us, no matter what we survived. That's why I wrote The Lost Son Alive Again and the upcoming Stranger Angels Among Us. 

The Lost Son Alive Again by Kathie Costos ebook

and paperback

I wanted to do something that included survivors of many different events to show their struggles, so by the end of the books, you'll discover how much power you do have over the rest of your life. 

I survived over 10 events but the one that did it to me was when my ex-husband tried to kill me and then stalked me. The thing is, even I didn't know I had PTSD despite working to help others for 4 decades. I had a rare form of it that stopped when I found out he died and could no longer harm me. I mean, I had nightmares, flashbacks, mood swings, paranoia, and everything else, but all that came with the one thing that made me freak out. The sound of a muscle car. If you have ever been stalked you know what it is like to have a trigger reminder of it and terror takes over common sense. Even though you discover you didn't really have anything to fear from whatever the trigger was, those memories have already taken hold. It may not make sense to people you know but they don't know what it was like for you to survive it.

Anyway, that's why the main character of the series is not a veteran. He was a reporter and his wife tried to kill him and then stalked him. I wanted a male character because while it is hardly ever mentioned, males can go through domestic violence too. While there are veterans in these books, there are a lot of others too.

As you read, you see the suffering until friends come along to help the healing begin. You'll see the struggles all of us go through as we learn one day at a time to take another step out of the darkness we were living with and into the healing light of hope.

It bugs me that I had to rewrite these books because while people loved the stories, they felt trapped by the Bible passages spoiling the flow of the story. I wanted them included because spiritual healing is just as vital as mental health efforts. I know I couldn't have adapted without my faith. I had to rewrite them because with everything going on with hateful people claiming to be Christians, it turned people off. I wanted to focus on the beauty and power of what too many miss in the Bible because they feel forced out of the church. It's like there is no place for us within the doors. The thing is, you don't need to be in a building to contact God and you don't have to be "worthy" to reach out to Him. You'll find that too.

I want you to find what I have now. It doesn't mean your life will be perfect and you'll never have any problems or do anything wrong ever again. It's more about discovering the way to get through all of it and seeing your life in a different way. I'm going through a lot right now, but, truthfully, I am calm even though I should be totally stressed out. I know why I'm not and I wish the same for you because I got to tell you, that this side of the darkness of PTSD is so much better than living without hope.

That's my message to start this month out with!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

PTSD? Surviving was the first miracle

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
March 2, 2022

When you survive the cause of PTSD, it sometimes feels as if it is torture. People in your life don't understand what happened to you. They can't figure out why you changed. You hear stupid things like "Well look on the bright side, you're still alive." That isn't very helpful when all you can see is darkness surrounding you. Fear consumes you. At the time when you need to be comforted by someone, you are pushing them away out of fear you will be judged instead of being understood. 

You need help to heal, but may not feel as if you deserve it, even if there is a tiny glimmer of hope you can be. If you feel alone, and everyone is walking away from you, no one comes to help you, and all you see are news reports of others suffering too, you can't see hope.

I know what that's like. I survived over ten events in my life. I still know what that is like when there are many times when I can't find anyone to help me. I end up feeling as if they must not think I deserve any help from them, or even their time to listen to me. I know what it is like to need comforting and reassurance

that these dark days will not last, just like all the other dark days were taken over by brighter ones.

For me, when faced with great need and no one answer my plea for help, I turn toward times in my life when things were really bleak and remember what it felt like to have a miracle happen just when I needed it most of all, even when I felt as if the world was telling me I didn't deserve one.

There are miracles happening all around us. I can't explain why they come or when they come. I can only explain how they come. They come when people hear God and do what they can to answer our prayers.

Oh, sure there are some that come directly from God. The Bible is full of them. Sometimes they are huge ones. Other times they are small ones but when you are in great need and put your trust in God, that mini-miracle makes all the difference in the world to you.

Consider this one I found while searching for something to comfort me this morning. 

From Way Nation
The Never Ending Flour Jar and Oil Jug
For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: There will always be flour and olive oil left in your containers until the time when the Lord sends rain and the crops grow again!”

So she did as Elijah said, and she and Elijah and her family continued to eat for many days. There was always enough flour and olive oil left in the containers, just as the Lord had promised through Elijah. 1 Kings 17:14-16

Why It’s Awesome:
I love this miracle because of its small-ness. It wasn’t big and loud. It didn’t help a huge number of people. And it’s not even the biggest miracle in this chapter. It’s just a woman and her son, yet God sees to it that their suffering and fear are alleviated.

It can be hard to believe that God cares about me and my struggles when so many other big things are going on in the world, but this miracle reminds me that’s just not the case.

 I had no idea this site was even out there, but I found it when I needed to. That was a mini-miracle for me. The fact you are reading this at all is mini-miracle for you, since that is the only way anyone finds this work.

The thing is, when we are forgotten by others, it is easy to forget about the times when we had people in our lives. Easy to forget when we knew we had God in our lives and found hope. I went to sleep last night after crying, feeling defeated because no matter how many times I tried to get help for what I need, no one replied. No one on this earth answered. God did. This morning I woke up with enough hope to even sit here and write this. Considering how much misery I was in last night, that is a monumental miracle for me, even though it may only seem like a mini-miracle to others.

When you survived the cause of PTSD, people helped you do it. You didn't expect strangers to show up, but they did. They showed up because they were sent to let you know you were safe again because God sent them to you and they responded. Every time we survive, we have a choice to make. Do we focus only on what was done to us, or do we focus on what was done for us?

We need to honor the feelings we have as survivors so we can begin to heal. Cry-scream-get angry-and get it out of your system. Then focus on the people who came to help you and let their acts of kindness fill you. Those who came to help, outnumbers those who came to harm. Those are the people I am remembering this morning and remembering they came when I least expected them to help.

God is closer than you think

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 3, 2021

This is going up on Wounded Times and PTSD Patrol. Wounded Times is close to hitting 5 million page views. It still gets a lot of traffic no matter if I post on it or not. That tells me that the need is still there. I am retiring from work, but not this work. I am no longer under constraints from non-profits and their rules, so from now on, I will be posting on what I feel needs to be said. Some people will like it, but others won't. While I hope you like it, if you don't, there are plenty of other sites for you. From now on, I'll be posting on both sites, as I feel the need to say something and as always, I hope what I say helps someone.

There are many times we have conversations with someone, and we never forget them. Every once in a while I'll read something or listen to someone, and instantly be reminded of "that" conversation. Today was one of those days.

Years ago I was confronted by an angry veteran. I was at an event, enjoying the music, when he came over to me, glaring at the Chaplain patch on my vest. Pure hatred shot out of his eyes. Once he started to speak it was easy to figure out he had way too much to drink. To this day, I am not sure why I had so much patience with him instead of telling him to go away.

He wanted to know why I was wasting my time on something that didn't exist. Yes, he meant that in his mind, God wasn't real. Like a lot of veterans who had seen way too much horror in the world, he said, "If there was a God, He wouldn't let all that happen. He wouldn't just sit back, let us destroy each other." At one point the thing that haunted him the most popped out. "Little kids starving and getting blown up while that so called God sits back and watches!"

I asked him why he joined the military. He said to serve his country. I asked him if he loved the country or hated it. Naturally he got ticked off then snapped, "I love it." I asked him if he still did and he said he did. I asked him why he still loved it. He responded with, "Because of what this country tries to be. They sent us to defend the people of Kuwait. We did."

I asked him if that was a good reason or a bad one. He said it was a good one.

When people see so much evil, it is hard to understand how a loving God could allow all of it to happen. They forget that He allows freewill from all humans, to make their own choices, to listen to what He says or not, to believe in Him or not and to follow where He leads, or walk away.

We also miss the fact that if they can still care, then God was there all along. It is easy to not be bothered by something if you do not have the heart to feel anything. It is not easy if your soul is being crushed by it. The very fact that veteran still cared about total strangers proved that. God was closer than he thought.

He was inside his soul. Goodness does not come out of evil. Caring about others does not come out of evil.

When we talked a little longer, I tried to get him to understand that. Over and over again he came back with blaming God. I told him that God was there, because people like him risked their lives to save others and would have dropped their weapons if the enemy dropped theirs. I told him that God was there because he was. He cried and walked away. I decided to not try to follow him because I knew he was drinking too much and I never saw him again.

When all you see is evil, that is all you think is there, but when you change what you focus on, you are able to see so much more. I remember the terrible things that happened to me, but I remember those who came to help me more. I remember feeling lost and alone, but I remember what it felt like when I was "found" and knew I wasn't alone in this world. So instead of only seeing what evil thing someone did to me, I focused on what others did for me because God was there.

Today the featured video is Bette Midler, From A Distance. God is watching us, but not from a distance. He lives in all of us and has an active part in all of our lives. When we listen, miracles happen.

If you have PTSD, I am always talking about taking care of your mind, body and spirit...your soul. I hope this fed your soul so that the next time God is trying to get through to you, you will listen.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

From a Distance

Bette Midler

From a distance the world looks blue and green

And the snow capped mountains white

From a distance the ocean meets the stream

And the eagle takes to flight

From a distance

There is harmony

And it echoes through the land

It's the voice of hope

It's the voice of peace

It's the voice of every man

From a distance

We all have enough

And no one is in need

And there are no guns, no bombs and no disease

No hungry mouths to feed

From a distance

We are instruments

Marching in a common band

Playing songs of hope

Playing songs of peace

They are the songs of every man

God is watching us

God is watching us

God is watching us

From a distance

From a distance

You look like my friend

Even though we are at war

From a distance

I just cannot comprehend

What all this fightings for

From a distance

There is harmony

And it echoes through the land

And it's the hope of hopes

It's the love of loves

It's the heart of every man

It's the hope of hopes

It's the love of loves

This is the song for every man

God is watching us

God is watching us

God is watching us

From a distance

Oh, God is watching us

God is watching

God is watching us

From a distance

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Julie Gold

From a Distance lyrics © Wing And Wheel Music, Julie Gold Music

Everytime you stand by someone else, do something for someone else out of love...God is there!
Northwell Health Nurse Choir: Gets the GOLDEN BUZZER with their EMOTIONAL Performance!

better days with better ways

This is from my other site, PTSD Patrol where I post daily now. If you risked your life for the sake of others, there is a special video below for you.

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 16, 2021

Are you fighting people who are trying to help you? Are you fighting God? Are you fighting yourself? You know you are not the way you want to be, not the way you used to be and nothing looks the way it did before. What are you doing about it? Are you trying to find someone to blame for the way your life is? Then maybe you should start with yourself because for whatever reason, you ended up believing you are a lost cause.

Time to start believing you are a worthy of better days.

Most of the time, survivors left the church because they did not find what they needed there. At least that is what some say but the truth is, what you needed was the foundation the faith was built on. That foundation is Jesus. Personally I don't attend church anymore and became a Chaplain so that I could care for the needs of fellow churchless souls, much like Jesus and His disciples did. They went to where the people were and tended to their needs, giving them reason to hope for better days, learning a better way to live and know they were loved.

Look at His life! He was raised poor, spent His ministry homeless and had no possessions. He was treated like a rock star one minute and hated the next by the same people who ended up shouting for Him to be Crucified. He knew what it was like to feel abandoned, betrayed, tested, and He knew what it was like to feel the emotional pain of someone else so deeply, He cried for them. He got angry.

There is no way of knowing why you survived and others did not. The only thing you can be sure of, is you did and it is up to you to define what you will do for the rest of your life. If you are blaming God that is because you think He judged you and wanted you to suffer...but those are your thoughts and not His.

PTSD strikes the emotional part of your brain and that is where your soul lives. If your soul has a strong emotional core, then you feel things more deeply. That means you love more deeply and feel pain stronger than others. What you may not be aware of is how powerful that soul of yours is. Everything you need to heal is already there. The purpose of getting help is to help you find it within yourself. One more thing you may not be aware of is that Jesus, the Son of God, had no problem asking for help when He needed it. He couldn't have done what He was sent here to do, alone.

This is why today the featured video is Goo Goo Dolls, Better Days. You may think it is about Christmas but if you remember what church services were like, it was all about that one day when He came into this world, and the day He left all His love behind for all of our days!

Better Days

Goo Goo Dolls

And you asked me what I want this year

And I try to make this kind and clear

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings

And designer love and empty things

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud

'Cause everyone is forgiven now

'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I need some place simple where we could live

And something only you can give

And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive

And the one poor child who saved this world

And there's ten million more who probably could

If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words and sing out loud

'Cause everyone is forgiven now

'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight

And somehow stop this endless fight

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud

'Cause everyone is forgiven now

'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: John Rzeznik

Better Days lyrics © Songtrust Ave, BMG Rights Management

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

And if you are among those who suffered because you were willing to risk your life for the sake of others, understand that PTSD Is Not God's Judgment.

Devon Levesque prepares to bear crawl NY Marathon to save veterans...and thanks the Lord he can

Trainer prepares to 'bear crawl' entire New York City Marathon

Fox News
By Frank Miles
May 8, 2020

“When I found out about FitOps and how they were working with these heroic veterans who have made it through war but were struggling back at home, I made it my mission to get involved. My goal in bear crawling a marathon is to raise enough money to sponsor veterans and put them through FitOps camp and help them reach their goals,” the 27-year-old said.

Devon Lévesque Thank the Lord Every Day ✞

Amid the coronavirus pandemic, it’s still up in the air if New York City Marathon will happen in November.

One of Manhattan’s top fitness trainers, however, is gearing up for all of its 26.2 miles in a very unique way.

Devon Levesque, a partner in the high-end training facility Performix House in New York City, is training to do the marathon in a bear crawl where he will run on his hands and feet.

He told Fox News: “Bear crawl is a full body exercise where you walk on your hands and feet. It takes a lot of core, quad, and shoulder strength since all of your weight is on your hands, and your toes and back are parallel to the ground.”

He’s like "Fight Club," in 2020, without the anarchy.
read it here

From the New York Post

American Legion Chaplain leading veterans trained to talk to veterans and stop these suicides

Tackling veteran suicides one on one

American Legion
March 4, 2020

“I knew we had to do something about veteran suicides,” said Miller, who was a Strategic Air Command medic during the Korean War. “That’s when I started the peer group … to have veterans trained to talk to veterans and stop these suicides.

(Photo courtesy moriches.greaterlongisland.com)

In 2012, U.S. Air Force veteran Frederick Miller saw a report on CNN about veteran suicides. And then he started to notice multiple reports showing the number of suicides each day, but didn’t see much in the way of how the problem was being addressed.

So Miller – the former Nassau County (New York) chief of parasitology, an ordained reverend and the chaplain for Arthur H. Clune American Legion Post 1533 in Mastic Beach – decided to start addressing the problem at the local level.

Miller’s Veterans Peer-to-Peer Program started at his post, but has since grown to become a Suffolk County program, with more than 100 Legion Family members participating. Those who participate in the program as counselors undergo training and then work with veterans who are struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder and what Miller calls the “moral injuries” associated with serving in combat.
read it here

Key to help veterans fighting PTSD is MIA

Caring for the spirit of veterans fighting PTSD, MIA again!

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
February 2, 2020

The value of treating the mind and body has been known for decades, not months, but you would not know that with this "news report" about the Veterans Administration. Army to revolutionize healthcare with whole person concept was posted on Wounded Times back in 2008. Many other posts followed that one. A month after that report was posted, the one key finding that was missing, was the spirit. Apparently, that is missing again!

We learned a long time ago that we need more Post Traumatic Spiritual Recovery efforts combined with caring for the mind and body!

Do reporters ever check to see if they are reporting the truth anymore?

If you want reasons why what was learned way back in the 80's on the need to care for the sprit, as well as the mind and body, it is because reporters stopped asking questions!

Veterans Affairs employees try new health care methods aimed to treat both the mind and body

KMOV 4 News
Alyssa Toomey, News 4 Reporter
Feb 1, 2020

St. Louis is one of 18 cities helping to spearhead the shift in healthcare.

ST. LOUIS (KMOV.com) -- Employees at the Veterans Affairs got to try a new approach to healthcare on Saturday.

Acupuncture, Tai Chi, hypnosis and other methods were part of the VA Employee Whole Health Wellness Retreat.

"I think it's a fantastic concept and a great way to model healthcare," Susan Boyle said. "I think it's what our veterans need instead of looking at them as being sick individuals."
read it here

Veterans lives saved by boxing club?

'They Saved My Life,' Boxing Club Provides a Healing Outlet for Veterans

The Associated Press
By Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and Diana Nelson Jones
7 Jul 2019

Boxing isn't for every veteran who needs an outlet, but for those it does help, it is a testament to the power of physical activity in improving mental health

.

Brandy Horchak-Jevsjukova, left, helps Tysh Wagner with stretches after a workout at Warrior's Call Boxing in Baden on Monday, June 10, 2019. Wagner served two tours of duty as a medic in Afghanistan and says the boxing workout helps her heal from the trauma of her war experiences. Horchak-Jevsjukova, co-owner of Warrior's Call, served in Iraq. (Steve Mellon/Pittsburgh Post-Gazette via AP)

BADEN, Pa. (AP) — Brandy Horchak-Jevsjukova jokes that she is Tyshie Wagner's service dog.

A veteran's service dog is trained to lean into her to provide comfort, to stand watch behind her, to jump up or paw her to interrupt a crisis.

Brandy has leaned into Tyshie persistently since they met in 2017, when Tyshie was almost 400 pounds, terrified of leaving her house, and imagining — and once attempting — suicide. She had gone through several therapists and had a husband who was at his wits' end.

Cutting through the chronology of their story, we arrive at the Warrior's Call Boxing Club in Baden, Beaver County, one recent morning.

Brandy and her husband, Vitali Jevsjukova, whom everyone calls "V," opened the club in 2015 to be the help to veterans that boxing had been for them during their military service in Iraq.
read it here

Vietnam veteran, Pastor tends to all veterans in Holiday

Holiday pastor serves fellow veterans, invites all to spring festival

Tampa Bay Times
Ernie and Regina Bullock
By Sarah Whitman
Times Correspondent
Published March 12

Ernie Bullock served nearly two tours in Vietnam, and survived the 1968 Tet Offensive.

The former U.S. Marine, who also served with the Air Force, returned from war in 1970 a changed and broken man.

He has since dedicated his life to counseling and serving veterans.

Bullock works at the Veterans Hospital in Sarasota and as an associate pastor at Holiday Community Fellowship Church in Pasco. He leads the church’s veteran outreach, a chapter of Point Man International Ministries.

Bullock joined the organization in the 1990s when he became a Christian and led a chapter in New York before moving to Florida two years ago.

The outreach will host a free Spring Festival at Holiday Community Fellowship Church, 5144 Sunray Drive, from noon to 4 p.m. on March 16. Families are invited to come meet firefighters, members of law enforcement and veterans, play games and participate in youth activities. Veterans and their families will serve as volunteers.

“It is essential for children and others to meet veterans and law enforcement and emergency responders,” Bullock said. “People of all ages need to understand these men and women care for others and rise to the call of duty every time they walk through the doors at work. Some of these people have given up their lives to save someone else.”

Last year, about 150 people attended the festival. About 25 volunteers helped organize the second annual event. Many participate in Point Man’s meet-ups at church.

The members form a community with common histories and purpose, Bullock said.

Bullock ministers often to veterans struggling to reconcile their experiences with daily life.

“Many veterans get stuck in grief, but also many are stuck in anger,” Bullock said. “I believe the worst of the anger should be dealt with in therapy groups in VA hospitals. However, churches have a role in recovery, too.”
read more here

The Heritage Foundation experts missed spiritual experts and a lot more

Considering the "experts" could not even get this right... not hard to guess why they did not know that groups like Point Man International Ministries had been doing exactly this work since 1984!

Glickstein highlighted the way government efforts have failed—and offered a possible solution. He said that in the last 10 years, the Department of Defense and the Department of Veterans Affairs have together run 1,100 different programs addressing PTSD and veteran suicide, at enormous expense. During that time, the average of 21 veteran suicides per day has not changed.

Point Man International Ministries proved this worked back in 1984 and has been doing it ever since. So what else did these "experts" miss?

What Faith-Based Efforts Can Do to Help Prevent Veteran Suicide

The Daily Signal
Steven Bucci
December 10, 2018

I don’t often quote sources from The New York Times, but in mid-November, David Brooks wrote a piece called “Fighting the Spiritual Void.” He stated without equivocation that “[t]rauma is a moral and spiritual issue as much as a psychological or chemical one.”

He could not be more correct.

The Heritage Foundation convened a panel to discuss post-traumatic stress disorder and veteran suicide from the faith angle. The panel was chaired by myself, a 30-year veteran of the Army Special Forces, and the members included Richard Glickstein, an advocate working to move the government to appropriately address the crisis; Dr. David LeMay, a medical doctor who specializes in rehabilitation; and Lt. Col. Damon Friedman, an active-duty Air Force special operator, who also leads a veterans service organization called Shield of Faith Missions.

The panel laid out quite a story.
read more here

Spiritual Health and Military Suicide Prevention

Veteran done talking about suicides...too busy talking about hope

Veterans find hope after trauma

We Are Iowa
Brynn Carman
November 1, 2018

Therapist Michele Lundstrom says that's exactly the help veterans living with PTSD need to heal. A passion that gets them into the right mental state."I'm getting choked up talking about it because I sit with this all the time and I want people to know that you don't have to keep telling it over and over," said Lundstrom. "We can treat the symptoms and the symptoms tell a story and that's what people didn't know when people were returning from Vietnam."

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is extremely common among combat veterans. In the past it's been very hard to treat. But now younger vets in Iowa are learning how to overcome their mental injuries, and live here on home soil with a new found purpose.

"I'm done talking about veteran suicide," said veteran, Troy Peterson. "I got it. I was almost a statistic."

When Troy Peterson got home from Iraq, his life was riddled with addiction and depression. Things got so bad it almost it almost cost him his life.

"On July 30 of 2015 I attempted to take my own life," he said. "I planned it out that that was going to be my last day. I didn't want to admit that I was struggling and I didn't want to admit to my problems."

The next day he woke up in a hospital bed embarrassed and confused. But determined to find a new purpose.

"Best thing that ever happened to me, was that I hit rock bottom."
read more here