Get shame out of the way of healing PTSD

I just flew back home from the United Female Veterans Convention in St. Louis. It seems no matter where I go, the main topic of conversation is PTSD. Most of the time I try to just listen thinking that one of these days I'll hear something new, something hopeful, but there is really so little new begin done.

Sitting in the airport waiting for the flight, I sat next to a young man with a very shot hair cut. Not wanting to assume anything I stopped myself from wanting to ask if he was in the military. He saw my Chaplain shirt and we began to talk. My first impression was correct and he was a Marine. He is training for deployment. We sat together on the flight. This was very hopeful. He told me of some of his friends on a 4th deployment and how some people he knew came back changed. The hopeful part is the attitude this young man had. He had knowledge, faith and an abundance of compassion for his brothers in the Marines. This generation is more aware of PTSD and in that there is hope.

Talking to him was a much needed event for me. I had received an email from the wife of a veteran I did a post on, taken from Time magazine online. At least that is what I gathered from her email. It was not filled with much information but she seemed bent out of shape that I posted what was on Time. I can only assume her husband must have PTSD. Given the fact Screaming In An Empty Room blog has almost 10.000 post and this one has over 2.000, it's pretty hard to guess who this person is. My problem is that there are still people out there who don't get it. They don't understand that there is no shame in having PTSD and loving someone who does have it, as I do, should be worn as a badge of honor. Emails like this bother me incredibly.

Let's assume for now that this woman's husband told his PTSD story to Time. Evidently there must be no shame in him or he wouldn't have told his story. How could there be any shame in being wounded? How could there be any shame in serving your country, stepping up and doing what you believe you were called to do and then have the government refuse to take care of you? It's the government that should be ashamed and not the veterans who have been wounded simply because they were willing to serve. How could a wife be so ashamed that she would complain about a post being done taken from a publication the size of Time magazine? This kind of attitude makes me always question the work I do to the point where I wonder if it's worth it or not.

All these years, dedicating my time and energy to do whatever I can for these veterans, for free, and some people would rather attack me for doing it. Everything I post is public information. No email gets posted unless the veteran asks me to make their story public and usually that's done so they can let others know they are not alone. There are only a few veterans I can think of who wanted their story public. It is always up to the veteran. The PTSD veterans going public, to me, are heroes in all of this. They will be the reason the stigma of PTSD vanishes and lives will be saved. Advocates like me across the country have been doing this since veterans came home from Vietnam. I've only been in this for 25 years but others have been in it since early 70's telling their stories and trying to change the minds of the general public. Most of us have very little regret except the fact that there are still too many in this country and around the world still thinking there is a reason to feel any kind of shame. I'm sure the others feel the same way that we will not give up until every veteran and every person with PTSD is treated with the same kind of compassion we would treat any wounded person with. It will be a wonderful day on this planet that every person with any kind of mental illness would be treated properly but we are far from it. NAMI gives me hope that this will happen one day because of all the dedicated people working on this around the country.

I have a lot of posts to catch up on but I wanted to get this out first. I want to ask all of my readers to keep this post in mind the next time they hear anyone with any kind of shame in their voice to address it. We must eliminate any kind of shame from PTSD so that the wounded can be helped as soon as possible without hesitation. The longer they wait because shame is standing in their way is time lost forever. If they are ready this second then this is the second the help should begin and they don't need someone clinging onto shame getting in their way.

The Voice, Women At War new video

I just put up the new video The Voice, Women at War. If you want to learn some history of women in war time, it will open your eyes. They were not all just "nurses" as some fools want to believe. A lot of them made history. The video is on the right side of the blog.

Women have fought in war since before the days of Joan of Arc.

She led the French army army at 17 and died at only 19 years old in 1431 when
the court convicted her of heresy and she was burned at the stake by the English.

Robert Shirtliffe, born Deborah Samson, joined the Army in October of 1778 at Plymouth Massachusetts for the whole term of the war and served in the company of Captain Nathan Thayer of Medway, Massachusetts for three years.

Clara Barton worked in the Civil War, first collecting medical supplies and then on the battlefield and in hospitals. She went on to found the American Red Cross.

The population of women veterans numbered 1,731,125 as of 2006

Alabama 31,678
Alaska 6,950
Arizona 43,212
Arkansas 18,143
California 164,810
Colorado 36,294
Connecticut 14,722
Delaware 5,940
District of Columbia 3,261
Florida 132,723
Georgia 69,718
Hawaii 8,478
Idaho 9,660
Illinois 53,468
Indiana 32,620
Iowa 13,865
Kansas 16,137
Kentucky 22,468
Louisiana 27,526
Maine 9,358
Maryland 44,078
Massachusetts 28,096
Michigan 48,188
Minnesota 23,166
Mississippi 18,339
Missouri 35,370
Montana 7,114
Nebraska 10,899
Nevada 19,574
New Hampshire 8,382
New Jersey 30,478
New Mexico 14,742
New York 66,730
North Carolina 61,420
North Dakota 3,622
Ohio 63,256
Oklahoma 24,137
Oregon 25,401
Pennsylvania 63,279
Puerto Rico 7,086
Rhode Island 5,393
South Carolina 32,702
South Dakota 5,063
Tennessee 37,911
Texas 134,949
Utah 9,290
Vermont 3,750
Virginia 75,129
Washington 50,385
West Virginia 10,650
Wisconsin 27,571
Wyoming 3,866
Source: Department of Veterans Affairs, VetPop0

While some people, men mostly, want to say women are only nurses, they need to take a look at the history of women who have in fact fought for this country. As for the "nurse" comment they love to make I'd like to see what would happen if they were not willing to go into a combat zone to take care of the wounded.

Women are as important in times of war as males are. What makes all of this worse for them is that they not only suffer the same kinds of trauma as males do, too many of them suffer sexual trauma.

Take a look at this video and if you do need the strength in numbers of the women veterans, you are heading for a real eye opener because they are getting organized. They are no longer going to accept being treated as anything less than a veteran.

The United Female Veterans of America is having a meeting in June in St. Louis. I did this video for them. If you are a female veteran, make sure you attend this meeting and find others who were willing to serve, did serve and see what other heroes look like. This nation if filled with them from the Navy, Army, Air Force, Marines, National Guards and all the wars this nation has engaged in. Some are wounded, some have medals but as with the saying about Vietnam, "All gave some, some gave all."

I will be at the meeting on June 27th and look forward to seeing as many women who have served as possible. I want to shake your hand and say thank you. I am not a veteran. I'm married to a Vietnam veteran and he's the reason I got into all of this 25 years ago. All of you have captured my heart.

Chaplain Kathie Costos
Namguardianangel@aol.com
www.Namguardianangel.org
www.Namguardianangel.blogspot.com
www.Woundedtimes.blogspot.com
"The willingness with which our young people are likely to serve in any war, no matter how justified, shall be directly proportional to how they perceive veterans of early wars were treated and appreciated by our nation." - George Washington