A few months ago I was contacted by Bill Vagianos, Vietnam and All Veterans of Brevard, offering support for the work I do. I was stunned because up until now, I often traveled wondering how anyone had any clue who I was. I asked Bill if God sent him to me because his email came at a time when I was really depressed. (You know, one of those times in my life when I was wondering if what I was doing was worth it or not. One more time when bills were more than we had coming in. ) Then he told me that he had been reading my blog when I posted how hard it was to do this work while my family was suffering financially for it. I worked since I was 14 and had never been without a paycheck until January of 2008.
This is my work, my job, my ministry and what I was called to do when I fell in love with my Vietnam vet husband along with every other Vietnam vet. Since then, my arms expanded to reach out to the newer veterans, police officers, firefighters and survivors of trauma. Most of what I do is kept private. What you see on this blog is only part of what I do everyday. If I post 10 articles, there were about 60 more I had to read. Then the videos on the blog take more time. I do this because I remember being alone, or at least feeling alone because in the beginning, I just didn't know how many others there were living with PTSD.
This is the email I received from Bill today as an endorsement. He had great compassion for me since I told him that I was not really good at advertising what I do, so instead of just saying I have his support, he wrote this.
Chaplain Kathie,
Thank you for the powerfully inspiring presentation you made at the General Membership meeting of the Vietnam and All Veterans of Brevard (VVB) last evening. You provided enlightenment and hope for many of the members in attendance, myself included.
I began following Wounded Times about 18 months ago and remain in awe of your prolific writing and depth of knowledge regarding PTSD and many other veteran issues of concern. It is profoundly clear that your blogs are well-researched and reality-based.
And you message is clear that you are committed to bring a sense of normalcy to our fellow veterans, active troops, police officers, firefighters and other trauma survivors.
As you stated, we Vietnam veterans manifested PTSD as a legitimate diagnosis, having it recognized by the American Psychiatric Association as a disability related to combat and forcing the VA to treat the disorder.
Your unique and seemingly tireless approach to eradicating the sense of aloneness sufferers of PTSD experience through assemblage of compelling stories about people experiencing trauma, suffering the after affects of trauma, and trauma survivors reaching out to help others is powerfully healing. As you described, “Quiet heroes have been turning their own pain into missions of support to others”.
I realize that the cost of your commitment to your calling, training, licensing fees, insurance, computers, Internet, website fees, phone charges and travel expenses to name a few, have been absorbed by you and the financial burden on your family is huge. I am also aware that you recently lost your income.
The VVB is happy to financially support your supreme efforts and just cause in service to our past and present veterans and first responders. Please accept our donation.
In Service to America,
Bill Vagianos, President
Vietnam and All Veterans of Brevard
There is an old, yellowing copy of a pamphlet I was handed by a Vet Center councilor,
(This is the paper I was holding last night.)
The first page is the introduction and sums up what was going on in 1978 but was kept America's dirty little secret.
"Most Vietnam veterans have adjusted well to life back in the United States, following their wartime experiences. That's a tribute to these veterans who faced a difficult homecoming to say the least.
However, a very large number of veterans haven't made it all the way home from the war in Southeast Asia. By conservative estimates, at least half a million Vietnam veterans still lead lives plagued by serious war-related readjustment problems. Such problems crop up in a number of ways, varying from veteran to veteran. Flashbacks to combat, feelings of alienation or anger, depression, loneliness and an inability to get close to others, sometimes drug or alcohol problems, perhaps even suicidal feelings. The litany goes on."
This pamphlet hangs on my office wall just above my desk to remind me of why I do what I do when things get too stressful, I get too depressed over the lack of attention PTSD gets, when I get one more email about a veteran on the brink of suicide or from a family member after it's too late to save them. I leave it hanging there to remind me when I cannot find the will to go on as my own financial stresses take turns for the worst and I begin to wonder if this is worth it when I know I could go back to working for paychecks. I used to do accounting and was very good at it and paid well for doing it. The last job I had ended January 2008 and that was the last paycheck I could depend on. I worked for a church as head of Christian Education. It's what led me to become a Chaplain. For any suffering I go through doing what I do, I know veterans are paying the price a lot higher than any price I pay helping them.
I started doing outreach work in 1982 and have been doing it for over half my life. In 2004 we moved from Massachusetts to Florida so that I could work part-time and devote more time to this work. The need increased and the numbers I was seeing coming in terrified me. I knew the suffering all too well after living through the worst of it with my own husband.
Years ago I realized there were many stories about traumatic events but scattered around the world. This was before Afghanistan and Iraq. I began to put stories together on an AOL blog. This lead to the blog now called Screaming In An Empty Room. I began Wounded Times because I had blended too many political posts with posts about veterans and this became a problem when veterans were looking for posts about them, so I limit the political posts on Wounded Times unless it has a direct bearing on our veterans. With whatever time I had between working and helping veterans, I tracked the stories around the country and internationally for one simple reason. PTSD is a human wound that strikes after traumatic events. It was important to have as many stories as possible all in one place to bring a sense of "normal" to our veterans, troops, police officers, firefighters and survivors.
Until Vietnam veterans made headway addressing PTSD, having it recognized as a disability related to combat and forcing the treatment of it by the VA, there was not much done on mental health following traumatic events. What they managed to do was bring Post Traumatic Stress Disorder into the awareness of the mental health community. What we see today in the response to traumatic events is directly due to their efforts. This also caused the reporters to cover stories of after trauma as well as the event itself.
Realizing the only way to eradicate the stigma associated with feeling alone, my mission became to focus on compiling stories of humans suffering after trauma as well as reaching out to help others. Quiet heroes have been turning their own pain into missions of support to others.
Wounded Times focuses on trauma with a spotlight on the military/veterans. There are stories about the VA and the DOD along with civilian life. I post about traumatic events effecting police officers, emergency responders, firefighters and survivors to also bring in the fact that our troops and veterans, while a minority of our population, are still humans. The difference is their traumatic exposures happened a lot more often than what we face in our lifetimes.
The need to have these reports all in one place is key to the mission of Wounded Times. I also do editorials to add in over 25 years of knowledge to say what is not being said. As a Chaplain, I try to address the need for spiritual healing since this is a common condition of people after trauma. The majority either believe God judged them or abandoned them following traumatic events after combat. This also happens with many others. Understanding what PTSD is enables the survivor to reconnect to their faith and know that God did not do this to them.
Wounded Times is about healing and understanding PTSD. This is why I produce videos on PTSD. In 2005 I understood that no matter how much I wrote, I could not break through to the people needing the information fast enough. I now have over 25 videos. These videos are now available on Wounded Times, Nam Guardian Angel PTSD Shield and Great Americans. If there is a need to have a DVD for service groups or individuals, I ask for a donation to help cover the cost of what I do. These videos are used all over the country by mental health providers, service groups and veterans groups. If anyone cannot afford to donate, they are not turned away.
I travel with these videos doing presentations to bring understanding of this complicated wound to any group wanting to understand as simply as possible believing once they understand, they will be able to provide the support to those suffering from it as well as their families.
I have been trained to respond to traumatic events because heading off PTSD is vital. I can also explain to the survivors what they may face so that they will seek treatment as soon as possible should the event set off the need for mental health care. Believing the sooner PTSD is addressed, the better the recovery, understanding what it is will assist the survivors in watching for signs they may need help as well as to watch for signs in others to assist them in getting help. The prevalence of PTSD we see today would not be so great had the information been available to them.
So far, training, fees for licensing and insurance have been out of pocket. I spend an average of 70 hours a week working on the blog, videos and reaching out with veterans thru emails. This has caused a huge financial burden on my family. Aside from lost income when I work outside of this, we have had to cover those expenses along with computers, Internet and website fees, phone charges and travel expenses. This is why your support of my work is so important. I cannot maintain Wounded Times without your help and I cannot continue my ministry to others without financial support.
I have set up a Charter of the International Fellowship of Chaplains so that donations are tax deductible. Your support will help me to continue to reach veterans and everyone else wounded by PTSD across the nation and internationally. It will also allow me to pay for advertising so that others needing help will not have to find Wounded Times or my videos accidentally. I have received too many emails from veterans on the brink and families when it was too late to help because they could not find my site sooner. Your support will help save lives and prevent families from having to feel lost.
Thank you for your support and believing in the work I do.
Chaplain Kathie
Senior IFOC Chaplain
Kathie Costos DiCesare
web site
www.namguardianangel.com
blog
www.woundedtimes.blogspot.com
"The willingness with which our young people are likely to serve in any war, no matter how justified, shall be directly proportional to how they perceive veterans of early wars were treated and appreciated by our nation." - George Washington
Certifications and Training
IFOC Certified, ordained, licensed and insured senior chaplain
Trauma Grief and Loss
Critical Incidents Stress
Critical Incidents Stress Management
Critical Incidents Stress Debriefing
Crisis Intervention and Peer Support
Military Cultural Competence
DEEP, Disaster and Extreme Event Preparedness
Administrator of Christian Education 2 years
Veterans outreach and trauma specialist, over 25 years
Producer of PTSD educational videos
Female veteransHardest Times You Could Imagine
Sisters After War
The Voice, Women at War
Women at War
Combat Veterans
Wounded Minds
Hero After War
When War Comes Home Part one and two
Wounded and Waiting
Veterans Day Memories of Vietnam
Veterans Everyday
PTSD, It’s All About Soul
PTSD Final Battle of War
PTSD Not God’s Judgment
Nam Nights of PTSD Still
Lean on Me
Death Because They Served
Homeless Veterans Everyday
Coming Out of the Dark
National Guards
PTSD I Grieve
CiviliansPTSD After Trauma
IFOC Chaplain Army Of Love
Point Man Ministries
Veterans Outreach, Home Free
There you have it. Now back to work for me.