Are dark empaths using your pain?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 22, 2024

Beware of dark empaths! They feed off your pain, grief, and fears!

Stay calm, but I've been working on the next book, the 1st Witch Of Salem. It won't be finished until 2025. I can't give the story away, but one of the significant themes addresses what makes us us. It is the spirit within us.

"Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” John 4:23-24

I no longer consider myself "religious," but I still believe in God and Jesus. This may seem confusing until you understand that churches have managed to divide people with their manmade rules and conditions. Jesus made no such demands. I find more comfort and power when speaking directly to God through my spirit. So yes, you can be one while not being the other.

Our spirits are immortal because they are created in His image. Our bodies are biological, but our spirits hold meaning to our lives. Everything that makes us who we are lives in our spirit and the spirit lives in our minds. Psychologists have been trying to figure out the magical components dwelling in our minds for centuries. Recently, they concluded that there are findings they cannot put into a box of what has become rational.

They have been studying empaths. Empaths can feel your pain, grief, and fears. They pay an emotional price while trying to help you. After trying to figure out what makes someone a sociopath, some began to focus on dark empaths. They can feel all that comes from your spirit; instead of paying a price to help you, they feed off it and use it to manipulate you.

Dark empaths are skilled at expressing empathy in a cognitive way rather than an emotional way, and the emotional distance they retain while operating equips them with a laser focus to achieve their ends through manipulation, gaslighting, or bullying.

I discovered this while researching the meaning of empaths. I have empathy, but there are different types of empaths. Discovering the meaning became vital because I met an empath, Jennifer of Lilac City Paranormal. I sought her out because I needed to understand how no one seems to agree on what happens to spirits after our bodies die.

Some, like me, believe in reincarnation. I also believe in heaven and hell. The belief in a spirit realm made it more complicated, and ghosts exist. How can all of it exist? Jennifer explained that it can. She willingly accepts the emotional pain she has to endure because she uses her spiritual gift to help others. I could feel that and see it in her eyes. When she spoke about how much pain they were in, I saw her grief. When she talked about the people she helped, I saw joy. No one can fake that.

Dark empaths find faking they want to help easy to do. Knowing people have emotional/spiritual needs, they pretend to have the ability to make us feel better. The only one they care about is themselves. We may walk away feeling empowered by anger toward others and hatred for anyone we can blame for our pain. Sure, that can take our minds off the cause of our pain, redirecting our negative energy to the forefront of our minds, but the pain lingers. Sooner or later, we regret having trusted someone with our deepest emotions. We already find it hard to trust someone when we live with #PTSD. Encountering a dark empath can get in the way of reaching out for help from anyone else. It's hard enough to find hope, but once they get their claws into us, we give up.

It makes it worse when they could be in any position they choose to do. Religious leaders, politicians, lawyers, doctors, coworkers, and bosses can all be dark empaths. They hide it well unless you understand what they do more than what they look like.

If you fall prey to a dark empath, there is something that can offer you comfort. Some don't want to live that way, and they even seek help to live a better life.

While dark empaths can change—especially with counseling—they must first acknowledge and show remorse for what they have done to you and be willing to change for the better.

Dark empaths are not the same as the dark triad.

The term “dark triad” was coined by researchers in 2002 to identify someone with personality traits that don’t meet the criteria for a formal diagnosis of associated personality disorders.

It consists of three personality traits: psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism.

A person with the personality traits of the dark triad may have signs of one or all these traits. They may exhibit:

lack of respect and empathy for others
arrogance
an unhealthy fascination with themselves
manipulation and lying
a need for attention and praise
an unhealthy preoccupation with gaining power
violent or aggressive behavior
lack of remorse or regret

Once you realize that even they can change, you begin to understand their spirits are trying to wake them up. Until they do, you are better off staying away from them when you can, or if not, realize they cannot be trusted with your emotions. It is one thing for someone to say they feel your pain but never intend to help you. It is miraculous for them to say they feel your pain and then do what they can to help you. The good news is there are more givers than the users.

(The cover design for the new book is done)

Just because the witch trials ended, the suffering never ended

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 18, 2024

There are some things no one can take away from you. No enemy on this earth can take away your free will. No one has the power to remove your thoughts. No one can control what you believe. No one can force you to surrender all hope. You are the only one in control of all of that.

What you think can only be changed by you. Do you realize how much power you have to change other people's thoughts? If you dare to speak to those you disagree with, and both of you are willing to listen, you can stop seeing one another as the enemy.

Many things divide us because people seem too focused on our differences. Contemplate how some people use their free religious choice in an attempt to control what you make the free will choice to believe. That isn't new. Nothing we see is new.

I find myself shaking my head so many times during the day I need IcyHot to ease the pain in my neck.

Writing the First Witch of Salem, the fourth book in the Ministers Of The Mystery Series, it became clear how people used fear to gain power. Once they figured that out, the added hatred provided someone to blame for their miseries. 

Harsh winter; blame a witch. Crops fail; blame a witch. If someone gets sick or dies, blame a witch. It worked out so well for those in charge; they put 300 people in prison and took their possessions. They had an enemy list. When they couldn't get someone to point fingers at their enemies, they tortured and threatened people until they received the testimony they sought.

What a master plan! It twisted and corrupted the Puritans' faith, coupled with fear of retribution to prevent anyone from speaking the truth, and it worked.

One wonders what would have happened if the people of Salem Village and the town of Salem had stood up against all of it when the witch accusations began.

It wasn't as if they had no example of how wrong it was to do what they were doing. Connecticut beat them to it. They hung Alse Young in 1647. It took them until 1669 to change their minds.

John Winthrop Jr. became Connecticut's governor and chief magistrate in 1657 and a few years thereafter was given the critically important assignment of attaining an official royal charter from King Charles II. This charter established Connecticut as an independent colony and amongst other privileges, granted Winthrop the right to pardon offenders. Winthrop was able to overturn the conviction of Elizabeth Seager of Hartford at her third witchcraft trial in 1666 and save Katherine Harrison from a death sentence in 1669. Harrison's trial was notable in that it changed the way evidence is used in Connecticut, including determining that there should be a plurality of witnesses, at least two for every event. Additionally, Winthrop lead the way in determining that the burden of proof should be on the accusers rather than the accused and he lobbied to dismiss the use of spectral evidence (evidence based on dreams or visions). Over time Winthrop used his alchemist background to challenge the ideas of "diabolical magic".

Some courageous people in Massachusetts were willing to speak the truth, but there were so few that retaliation with accusations against them silenced others. Rev. Francis Dane was a preacher from Andover. His bravery in opposing the witch trials caused members of his family to be charged, and two of them were executed. The people of Salem should have considered what he said, especially since he preached against it long before it happened in Salem.

The sad truth about what happened in Salem was that none of it had to happen. If the people practiced their Christian faith and believed what they claimed they did, they would or should have been willing to do whatever it took to defend those wrongfully charged.

Many aspects of what occurred in Massachusetts over 300 years ago can be associated with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. One that never seems to be noticed is the guilt they felt when the trials stopped, and those held in prison were again among them. They would have spoken about the terror they experienced while being tortured, including children as young as four years old being terrorized.

You may ask how guilt can cause #PTSD. Some only associate it with survivor guilt, but there is a difference. It is also a moral injury. Remorse over what was done to others is powerful.

There is a great deal of overlap between moral injury and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Both begin with an event that is often life threatening or harmful to self or others. Guilt and shame are core features of moral injury and are also symptoms of PTSD. The betrayal and loss of trust that could be experienced with moral injury are also common features of PTSD. For example, someone who was assaulted by a loved one may feel betrayed and have difficulty trusting others, whether or not they also suffered moral injury or PTSD.

Think about what they went through watching 19 women and men hanging from ropes on Proctor's Ledge. Think about what they went through when they heard what happened to those who were forgotten while held in four different prisons. Then, think about what it was like for the accusers to have to see those they accused walking freely again while knowing the lies they told came back to haunt them. 

While some remained guilt-free because they had no conscience, many would have felt it in their guilt deeply in their spirits. It was too late to change what they allowed to happen. They made a lame attempt to atone for it by having a day of prayer and repentance. Still, no one was held accountable for what they did to so many innocent people.  Just because the witch trials ended, the suffering never ended.

Beware of the trickery this Halloween

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 30, 2024

Tomorrow is Halloween, and I'm dressing up as a witch. (No shocker there for those who know me.) All across the country, kids will show up saying "trick or treat," even though they never expect the trick. People will enjoy scary movies and eat whatever candy remains. No one expects a trick. Some people are getting ready to pull on us.

I keep hearing that some politicians are planning to toss out votes. This is a friendly reminder that voters must prove who they are no matter who they vote for. Once this is done, the ballots they fill out are anonymous. 

I've voted in every election since I was 18. Before voting, I had to prove who I was and where I lived to ensure I was voting in the proper precinct. Once I did that, I was handed a blank ballot. No one knew who I voted for, and the ballot was put into a machine without personal information.

I had to do an absentee ballot a few times in my life. I had to prove who I was, and the ballot was sealed without any of my information on it.

The ballots go into the same piles as everyone else's. Voting for the person you want in charge of this country's future is not only a treat but a privilege. When they win, you know you were part of putting them in office. When they lose, most of us accept it, but some will not be able to. They want to claim a trick was played on them, which was the only way the person they wanted received fewer votes. 

Politicians will then play a massive trick on their emotions and say they want to toss out ballots. It may sound good until you remember how the process works.

If you believe they can find the ballot they want to toss out, it just means it is the one they don't like. Don't let them pull a trick on you, or it will get a lot more frightening the next time you want to use the power of your vote!

I am retraumatized remembering what happened to me

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 28, 2024

I have heard too many people talking about being pro-life and pro-choice. The truth of what is behind all of the talk has been silenced. Once a choice is taken away from someone, it is taken away from all of us.

My heart breaks for all the people who have suffered because they had to go through horrifying medical emergencies. No one asked them if they wanted what they were forced to endure. It didn't matter if they wanted to be pregnant or not. It didn't matter if they were Republican or Democrat, Independent, or refused to vote for the people running for election. All that mattered was a female was pregnant and needed medical intervention.

Read Dozens of pregnant women, some bleeding or in labor, are turned away from ERs despite federal law from Associated Press to understand what has me re-traumatized.

The Biden administration says hospitals must offer abortions when needed to save a woman’s life, despite state bans enacted after the Supreme Court overturned the constitutional right to an abortion more than two years ago. Texas is challenging that guidance and, earlier this summer, the Supreme Court declined to resolve the issue.

More than 100 pregnant women in medical distress who sought help from emergency rooms were turned away or negligently treated since 2022, an Associated Press analysis of federal hospital investigations found.

Some people live in states where they feel as if voting to codify the choice over what to do with their own bodies has made them safe from those horror stories. They failed to wonder what would happen if the people running for office had already stated they wanted to ban abortions across the nation. More perplexing is they do not seem to wonder what would happen to them should they need what they voted for and what they voted to take away from everyone.

I suppose I should consider myself lucky when a pregnancy went wrong and nearly killed me, but laws protect my life. It was in the early 80s when I was carrying twins. My husband and I were thrilled. He went to every doctor's appointment with me. That thrill turned into a deadly nightmare when I started to bleed. Our doctor told me to get to the emergency room. I was hemorrhaging in the wheelchair while the nurse was checking me in. As I was wheeled away, I left a trail of blood behind me, and the seat was soaked. One of the twins came out. The doctor had to abort the other one to save my life.

As bad as that was, my husband blamed himself because of Agent Orange from Vietnam. It didn't matter that our doctor explained that the egg had split wrong. His mild #PTSD became full-blown because he lost the ability to fight it. I had nightmares because when it all happened, I was in the maternity ward and had to listen to babies crying and people celebrating the joy of a new life in the world after I lost the two I hoped would come too.

There was no debate over if the doctor could be arrested for doing it. My doctor didn't have to wait for the hospital administrator to approve the procedure. There was no judge or politician to make us wait for their power to choose what happened to me. My life was saved without delay because the law protected me.

No one else had the power to get involved. No one claiming to be pro-life had the power to let my life end because what they decided was right for them gave them the ability to make decisions for me. All of this is playing out across the country, and I am retraumatized remembering what happened to me so long ago. I wonder if any of them have contemplated it happening to them.

I know I didn't think it could happen to me until it did.

I wonder if they ever thought that once this right is taken away from everyone because that is what they wanted, what is the next right they will see gone. I am pro-choice because of what happened to me, and I don't want the power to choose for someone else.

They didn't see it coming or know how to stop it back then

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 18, 2024

"Perhaps Satan’s goal had been not to recruit witches but to trick the court into executing the innocent."

That was from The Bill Of Rights Institute, The Salem Witch Trials, Malcolm Gaskill, University of East Anglia. In 1692, the demon was very busy in Salem Village. People were suffering and wanted to blame someone. The influential people gave them witches, and hate gave them the targets.

Usually, I stay out of politics. These are not usual times. What is happening now is correlated with what happened in Massachusetts in 1692. I am surprised so few noticed it.

People have been conditioned to blame someone else for their problems. Too many are pointing fingers at what they consider easy targets. Fueling hatred against others with no power to cause or fix their misery deflects the absence of efforts on their part to solve problems. It happened in Salem because it was allowed to happen. Everyone going against the ridiculous claims made became another target, and they found themselves accused. It was a vicious circle designed to keep it going so that enemies were caught in the web of lies. It is happening again.

"Villagers were emboldened to voice their own suspicions of other witches, which led to more arrests. The accused were brought to the public meetinghouses and urged to confess so they could be brought back into the Christian fold. Most people gave credence to “spectral evidence”, evidence based on visions and dreams, in which the afflicted claimed they could see invisible spirits flying around the room and causing them pain. Even a four-year-old girl, the daughter of one of the accused, Sarah Good, was imprisoned for witchcraft. Before long, the witch hunt had spread to several neighboring communities."

None of it was real. None of the accusers experienced what they claimed. They did not have to prove a single word they said; all they had to do was claim they believed it happened.

Samuel Parris, a corrupt minister, fueled twisted religious beliefs. After children in his household made outrageous claims, they blamed witches, and the plot to use them began. Realizing they had the power to manipulate others, the seeds were sown in the minds of others, like the Putnam family.

"Thomas Putnam (Jr.) was from the third generation of Putnams in Salem Village. He was the eldest son of Thomas Putnam (Sr.), who himself was the eldest son of John Putnam, one of the founders of Salem Village who had arrived from England in the 1640s. The Putnams were a powerful and wealthy family, yet by the 1690s, Thomas Putnam was seeing his prospects diminish as property continued to be divided with each generation. He watched as neighbors like the Porters and the Nurses, who lived closer to Salem Town, became more prosperous. Thomas Putman had also aligned himself with the new village minister in 1689, Samuel Parris, a man who did not have everyone’s support. Disagreements about the minister’s wage, and firewood, and ownership of the parsonage caused ongoing division in the community."

None of those in charge had any power to change the harsh winter, grow crops that could not be grown, or eliminate illnesses. None of them had the power to stop the indigenous people from attacking towns and villages to take back their land. They used their power to deflect attention from them and place it where it didn't belong, on other citizens. After all, solving problems requires work and a lot of thought. Pointing fingers was easy and added to their power and wealth. They confiscated the property of those they charged with witchcraft and billed them for the time they spent in jail.

They ignored the 10 Commandments when they falsely made accusations against others and were willing to murder. They broke the rule of requiring evidence and then broke another rule of not torturing to achieve confessions and naming others.

Dozens suffered under inhumane conditions as they waited in jail for months without trials; many of the imprisoned were also tortured, and at least one died in jail before the hysteria abated in 1693.

So much of the tragedy of the Salem Witch Trials comes down to the failure of the court and the laws during that time: Laws that made such things as visions, dreams, and even the testimony of spirits permissible evidence. And a court that accepted accusations so flimsy they would seem laughable today if they weren’t so horrifyingly unjust…(New England Law)

The more I see what is happening today, the more I think about what happened in 1692. People claim to be Christian, much like the Puritans did. With real evidence, some claim it's nothing more than a witch hunt, which requires no proof. They want to control what other people believe and how they worship. They want to control how other people live while proving they don't care about them. They only care about themselves and how they can use their power for their gain and not for the sake of the people they claim they want to serve.

The rights we have today to protect us from what the people of Salem Town and Village endured are still under the 1st Amendment because of what people got away with. Read the list of Amendments to see what other rights we have and discover how many of them apply to what happened in Salem.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The difference between us now and the residents of Massachusetts back then is that we see all the signs because of technology. They didn't see it coming or know how to stop it back then.

Kathie Costos

Author of The Scribe Of Salem, The Visionary Of Salem, and 13th Minister Of Salem.