Because I love to help

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
August 27, 2024

I have been hearing people say hateful things most of my life. However, I have never witnessed so many people spreading hatred as if it were something to be proud of. How does it make them feel about filling themselves up with it?  Do they notice it doesn't make their lives better? I don't need to wonder about those doing things out of love. I know it fills them with the knowledge they helped someone.

Over the years, people asked me why I do what I do to help people with #PTSD. The answer was simple. Because I can remember what it was like to feel lost and alone. I'll never forget the hope I was given when people started to help and guide me. I realize that was back before a lot of readers were born. After all, it was the late 80s, and practically no one had the internet. (Not that it would have helped since we didn't have computers either.) 

My generation knew more about PTSD because we learned the old-fashioned way. We talked face to face. Sharing what it was like was hard at first. Society told us that PTSD was something to be ashamed of because we were too weak to get over it. We told each other we understood what surviving did because it did it to us. 

Some people I helped were fixated on hating others because they were hurt by others. When they reached the point where they trusted me, I'd ask them if hating did anything to change their lives. No one said it did. Then, I asked them how it felt to help someone. They said it made them happier. Most said it made them more peaceful inside or gave them hope. It's a spiritual thing anyone can do...and should do.

What I did, the hours I spent helping, filled me with more than any time spent hating did. Every second I spent remembering people who hurt me in the past drained me. I decided to remove the power they held over me and refused to allow them to continue to hurt me. 

I had to realize that they had long forgotten me, and it is doubtful they lost any sleep over the harm they did. I lost too much sleep tossing and turning about getting revenge. I had to decide to push my memory of them out of my mind so that the memories of those who helped me could fill me. After all, I had more people doing what they could for me than those who did what they could to destroy me.

Do you spend time hating people? Do you hate people you don't even know? Do you notice none of that hatred makes your life better? You realize you don't want it in your life once you open your eyes to what hatred is doing to you. Push it out so love can move in.