Who is testing you?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 27, 2024

Someone will tell you that God is testing you when you are suffering. No clue where they got that one from, but it must be connected to something they were told when they were suffering. It was not very comforting at all to me, so I doubt it would have comforted them. So why would they say something like that?

Another thing they say is, "God only gives us what we can handle." Is it because they think everything bad that happens to them comes from God? How does that work when we are supposed to pray to God to help us when we were just told He did it to us?

I've been going through an incredibly hard time since last year. I'm past anger. Past crying. I think I'm approaching numbness. It is understandable to the people who know me personally and they feel sorry for me. They want to help but don't know what to say. I wish they'd just say something like, "I'm here for you," instead of what I find troubling.

We all hear things people should not say to us when they want to help but don't know how. The thing is, too often we end up believing what they say especially when we hear it more than once from different people. Hell, they can't all be wrong. Actually, they can depending on how they understand the spiritual connection we have to God. Maybe they are thinking about what happened to Job and assume it is happening to others. But when you read his story, you realize from the start that it wasn't God doing the testing, but Satan was. God allowed it to prove a point. Honestly, that bothers me. 

Job had great faith in God and he was blessed. He thanked God for everything he had. As more and more were taken from him, he still trusted God. That is until he wondered why God would turn against him when he didn't do anything wrong.

People end up with #PTSD and we suffer mentally, physically, and spiritually. The worst part for me is when it is crushing my spirit and I hear something that disagrees with the faith I have. I used to just let it go until I understood that I needed to explain how unhelpful it was. If they were telling me that, then it must be what they believe. That's sad.

We all hear things based on what people believe. We hear it when they believe falsehoods about PTSD too. It is almost as if they've heard the rumors and believed them to be true. Have you heard you just weren't tough enough to take what happened to you? Unless they've lived through something you survived, they don't have a clue about how it would hit them. They'll judge you all the same because that was what they heard about it and accepted it. Maybe it is because they fear what their own life would become if it happened to them?

Job's friends tried to comfort him but ended up saying stupid things. There are some things I can assure you of that may comfort you simply because I know them to be true.

God didn't do it to you and is not testing you. If He was, there would be no point in praying to Him for help. He isn't punishing you after saving you from what happened to you. He's there to help you through it.

If people won't help you heal, it isn't because He's stopping them. He's sending them to help but they won't respond. He enabled all of us with free will. We are free to make our own choices and when they choose to not help you, that isn't God's fault. It is theirs. Maybe they want to help but don't know how to? It is up to us to let them know what we need and explain how they can help. If you need them to just listen to you, tell them. If they want to "fix" you, change their language into how they can "help" you instead. That allows them to be doing what you need and actually being helpful.

I can also assure you that you are not weak, even though too many people may think that way because of what they were told about what other people thought. Turn it around. Remind them of something they went through. Help them remember what it was like for them to recover from it if they ever did. Then ask them to think about what it would be like if the same thing never let go of them. That opens their minds to see a different view of you. You have to consider the fact you are the only one who can explain it to the people who care about you. Otherwise, they won't be able to understand. All too often they will think the way you are acting is about them and not what you're going through.

While it is true PTSD is not "curable" it is healable. Your life can become a lot better than it is. As with all wounds, you can heal. Sure you may have some scars left but you can deal with them when you get the help you need. Mental health help and physical help are huge parts of what you need but don't forget about the spiritual part of you. Misunderstanding the power of it can eat you up. Strengthening it will help you heal far beyond what could ever imagine.

I know that with all I've been through, and still going through, would be far worse if I didn't have a spiritual connection to God. I know I'm not alone. You aren't either.