Thankful God Had Plan B

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 25, 2021

When I was five years old, I had a fractured skull, concussion and head trauma. Aside from everything else, it caused a speech problem. Kids being kids, I was made fun of and limited what I said out loud. When I got older, it was easier to write instead of speak. My pen was my voice.

In my senior year of high school, my English teacher said I was a natural born writer. I wrote a speech for a national competition and it won first place. The thing was, I had to have one of my classmates read it because when I got nervous, words didn't come out right. My typewriter was my voice.

In 1982 I was introduced to the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when I fell in love with a Vietnam veteran. I had no way of knowing it at the time, but I had it too. My ex-husband tried to kill me and then stalked me for years. It helped me to understand what war did to my veteran. The more I learned, the more convinced I was that people needed to know about this. Writing was still my voice and I wrote to local newspapers.

In 1993, I got online and started to write about it on as many places as I could. My computer was my voice.

When I got older, a friend told me I missed my calling and should have become a preacher. The problem with that was, as a Greek Orthodox woman, that wasn't possible. I did not want to renounce my faith to join another church where my preaching would be welcomed. My computer was still my voice.

In 2002, I finished writing my first book on PTSD. For The Love Of Jack told our story and I wrote about the importance of our souls aiding in healing, I had to republish it in 2012.

My computer is still the voice I use most of all, but in today's world, it also because my way of speaking through videos.

One of the first videos I did was back in 2006. Coming Out Of The Dark. My video camera was my voice.

Why be afraid if you're not alone? Life is never easy, the rest is unknown. The song is by Gloria Estefan and the first time I heard it, all I could think about were the Vietnam veterans I spent so much time with including my husband. You are not alone fighting to heal PTSD just as you were not alone during combat.

All these later, almost forty of them, healing PTSD has used everything God planned for me as well as the pain others caused me.

This past summer, I was at a crossroad and not in a good way. After all these years, I had nothing new to say. I did the writing, research, created over 700 videos and had three books. I was depressed reading reports on PTSD and constantly seeing failure after failure, topped off with reporters never telling the whole story of the lives of survivors.

My faith in God was stronger than ever, but my faith in myself was at the lowest point in my life. I did what I usually do. I turned to God and prayed for a way to express what He taught me all these years. I wanted to give knowledge as much as I wanted to give hope.

God answered that prayer with The Lost Son.

Before I was done with this one, God delivered a second one to begin. Alive Again

Both book are like the Parable of The Lost Son because the main character was supposed to be a priest, but became a reporter. He walked away from God because he believed God walked away from him first. As with the lost son in the Bible, he went back to his Father and God rejoiced. He used Chris's talents and all the gifts he had to deliver messaged to the world that God still hears prayers and answers them through other people.

The stories involve veterans dealing with PTSD, but also everyone else trying to come to terms with being a survivor. I hope you find understanding and, above all else, hope that your life story is one that you determine and define. We are limited in what we can do but there are no limits on what God can do for us, and through us!

On this Thanksgiving Day, I am grateful for God's plan B for me! God gave me back my voice.