Firefighter was told after 9-11 stop watching videos of it

Nearly 2 decades after 9/11, a former firefighter sees the NYC memorial for the first time
Pennsylvania State Capital Bureau
Candy Woodall
September 7, 2021

He told a fire department counselor he was having trouble sleeping. When he did, he had nightmares about anger and fighting. He complained of irritability, of an inability to calm down or take pleasure in anything. He couldn't remember certain things he witnessed at Ground Zero.

Her advice, according to court records: Stop watching 9/11 videos. She did not refer him for further treatment; she also said that, after 9/11, the fire department counseling staff was overwhelmed with work and seeing hundreds of employees.

Michael Silvestri dipped his fingers into the flowing water and made the sign of the cross, from his forehead to his broken heart.

The waters here, in the South Pool of New York City's 9/11 Memorial, are like holy water, he said.

"It's sacred. It's their graves," Silvestri said.

His cross was also a silent prayer for the strength he needed to stand at this memorial for the first time.

Faith had helped Silvestri, now 59, get this far.

The former firefighter survived 9/11 two decades ago, but he's been fighting for his life ever since.

Silvestri moved to Lehigh County, Pennsylvania, more than a decade ago to get away from all the reminders on Staten Island. He was haunted by painful memories, undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder and the survivor's guilt that devoured him alive. It culminated in 10 seconds of rage 16 months after 9/11 that nearly cost him everything, followed by years of the slow path toward healing, the hard work of turning survival to rebirth.
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