Veteran “it” all started with my Combat PTSD

How Becoming an Entrepreneur Helped Me Overcome Suicidal Thoughts

Entrepreneur
Steven Kuhn
GUEST WRITER
Principle of Immediate Impact Consulting
February 13, 2019
Army veteran Steven Kuhn discusses his ongoing battle with Combat PTSD.

After years of pushing away loved ones, ignoring help and trying to forget my past, I came to the realization that embracing Combat PTSD as a source of strength was my only way out. Sounds crazy, I know, but hear me out. It shows me that I went through war and survived. I saw my inner darkness and lived there, saw death by my own hand, and lived through it all. Combat PTSD gives me the ability to do anything I want.

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The artillery was still dropping as I ran up to Sgt. Young Min Dillon’s position. I heard he was hit and arrived just in time to share the last moments of his life. That was 1991 in Iraq. I feel fortunate to have been there and at the same time, it haunts me every day because it should have been me. At least that’s how I feel and that is where my doc says “it” all started with my Combat PTSD.

Veterans are an interesting demographic. We volunteer to do things most people don’t or won’t. Once we enlist, we are told what to do and when to do it. The basics are taken care of so that we as soldiers, marines, airmen and seamen can hyper-focus on our one task at hand. We become part of a massive team effort. In the military, no one needs to say a word: who you are, what you have done, where you served, how long you served and what you accomplished is all seen on your uniform.

I know all about the realities and horrors of PTSD firsthand. In 2008, I attempted suicide after leaving the military. At the time, I was staying in Germany where I was stationed. I attempted to grab a police officer’s weapon to shoot myself and when that didn’t work I grabbed a knife to finish the job. I came out the other side with a feeling of hopelessness I never thought I could overcome.
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