Learn to survive in the ordinary world

The power to heal PTSD is within you!
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 15, 2018

There are a lot of songs written about love gone wrong that can apply to what suffering is like for other reasons. When someone writes something to express emotions, it comes from their soul. The deeper the love is, the deeper the pain is.

People who join the military are said to have a lot of qualities. Recruitment slogans grab hold of those inner gifts. The Navy has Forged by Sea and the Air Force has "We do the impossible everyday."

For the Army it is "WE TRAIN. WE ADAPT. WE WIN." Another statement is "We're doctors, scientists, engineers, cyber warriors and combat Soldiers with one mission-protect and preserve our nation. We're highly trained, adaptable and ready for anything. We are U.S. Army Soldiers."

This is from the Marine Corps

"Honor, courage and commitment are the core values that drive the actions of every Marine, but it is the fighting spirit within that ensures victory."

Latch onto that fighting spirit to win your own battle back home! 

EACH STEP FORWARD, A BATTLE WON.

Inside every Marine is a relentless fighting spirit. It stands up for others. It overcomes obstacles both physical and mental, and it does not quit until the battle is won.

Yet none of these recruitment words mention love. Why is it that people find that word is only suppose to mean an ordinary love, that everyone seeks and the lucky find?

When you decide to serve, there is the obvious gift of courage within you. You know you'll have to endure all kinds of hardships. In combat, you fear for your own life, but beyond that, you fear for the lives of those you are with. Your military family means as much to you as your own family in the ordinary world, sometimes...even more than they do. That is love too.

When veterans come home, they gave just about everything they had. They are drained physically and mentally. Trapped between relief of setting foot in the homes they left, and loneliness being separated from the others they fought side by side with.

Back in their small world of home and friends, far from bullets, bombs and blood shed, sooner than later, they face the fact that while they survived combat, it seems harder to survive in the world they thought was ordinary.

If you think about the words from the Marine Corps, it should be obvious that some battles go on long after service. "Inside every Marine is a relentless fighting spirit. It stands up for others. It overcomes obstacles both physical and mental, and it does not quit until the battle is won."

The battles fought in combat, are not fought alone, but with others watching your back, as much as you watch theirs. At home, the battles are not won alone and must be fought with someone at your side.

Most of the time, your family wants to be there for you, but they cannot understand what you need if you do not tell them. Holding your suffering in, makes them search for reasons for the changes they see. All too often, that search leads them to blame themselves for your actions. 

If you know nothing about PTSD, then you may be blaming yourself because you do not understand it. If you do not understand it, then how do you expect people in your life to be able to?  If you think you've become evil, how do you expect those who care about you to not agree with you if that is all they see from you?

Learn what PTSD is from the experts and not from social media. Invest the time to train to be a better veteran as much as you trained to be a better service member.

Keep in mind, they were not trained to fight what came home within you. They have no way of knowing unless you share it with them. You don't have to tell them about your deployments or any of the horrible details. All they need to know is that you are hurting. They do not need to know what did it to you, but they need to know what it is doing to you.

The same applies to your friends. Some of your friends, you will sadly discover, were not really your friends. Some will want to help but since they do not understand, they will change the subject or get uncomfortable. All too often, they'll say something stupid. Know that it comes from ignorance and in no way applies to your worth.

Other friends will listen and support you. Most of the time those friends are also veterans. While you may think they came home unchanged, every veteran came home changed in one way or another. No one comes home the way they left just as no human survives any traumatic event unchanged.

Sometimes they are stronger, if they managed to make sense out of what they went through, then make peace with it. Other times, they value life even more than they did before. 

The thing no one has been telling you is that you too can make sense of it and make peace with it no matter how long it has been since you left that world and you can learn to survive! 

Ordinary World

Duran Duran

Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue

Thought I heard you talking softly

I turned on the lights, the TV, and the radio

Still I can't escape the ghost of you

What has happened to it all?

Crazy someone say

Where is the life that I recognize?

Gone away

But I won't cry for yesterday

There's an ordinary world

Somehow I have to find

And as I try to make my way

To the ordinary world

I will learn to survive

Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say

"Pride will tear us both apart"

Well now prides gone out the window

Cross the rooftops, run away

Left me in the vacuum of my heart

What is happening to me?

Crazy someone say

Where is my friend when I need you most?

Gone away

But I won't cry for yesterday

There's an ordinary world

Somehow I have to find

And as I try to make my way

To the ordinary world

I will learn to survive

Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed

Fear today, forgot tomorrow

Besides the news of holy war and holy need

Ours is just a little sorrowed talk

And I don't cry for yesterday

There's an ordinary world

Somehow I have to find

And as I try to make my way

To the ordinary world

I will learn to survive

Every world is my world

(I will learn to survive)

Any world is my world

(I will learn to survive)

Any world is my world

Songwriters: John Taylor / Nick Rhodes / Simon Le Bon / Warren Cuccurullo

Ordinary World lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Songs Music Publishing

This is an ordinary world your extra-ordinary love is much needed in!