Needing Help for Combat PTSD But Won't Seek It?

Waiting For Help Without Asking?
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 29, 2017

There is a huge difference between needing help and asking for it. My Mom was a great example of that. She was a proud woman, used to taking care of herself until she reached her 70's. 

After that, the usual argument was about what she needed her "kids" to do but we didn't guess she needed it. Yes, that twisted up. She figured since we knew her all our lives, we should just know what she needed and she shouldn't have to ask for it.

When we know someone needs help, it is never easy to guess what it is they need and even harder to figure out what they want from others.

Pride often gets in the way but then there is something else trapping people from help. They see others getting help while no one is helping them. The question is, if they do not ask for help they need, how can they receive it?

Pool of Bethesda

Jesus Heals a Man at a Pool (John 5)
5 Later Jesus went to Jerusalem for a special feast. 

2 In Jerusalem there is a pool with five covered porches, which is called Bethesda in the Hebrew language. This pool is near the Sheep Gate.  

3 Many sick people were lying on the porches beside the pool. Some were blind, some were crippled, and some were paralyzed, and they waited for the water to move.  

4 Sometimes an angel of the Lord came down to the pool and stirred up the water. After the angel did this, the first person to go into the pool was healed from any sickness he had. 

5 A man was lying there who had been sick for thirty-eight years.  

6 When Jesus saw the man and knew that he had been sick for such a long time, Jesus asked him, “Do you want to be well?” 

7 The sick man answered, “Sir, there is no one to help me get into the pool when the water starts moving. While I am coming to the water, someone else always gets in before me.” 

8 Then Jesus said, “Stand up. Pick up your mat and walk.” 9 And immediately the man was well; he picked up his mat and began to walk.

That story always gets to me. The first question I have is how the man got there in the first place? Someone must have brought him there. Why didn't they stay to make sure he got into the pool? After all, the first part of the help getting there was only part of what he needed. What about the other part?

Then I wonder if he ever asked anyone else to help him? Did he try to do it on his own? Did he watch as the others got help to get into the healing waters and simply sit there with the soul crushing feeling of not mattering as much as others?

It is also a great example of it never being too late to get help to heal!

Most of the phone calls and email requests for help, are from family members asking for help for their veteran. They want me to contact the veteran. I tried that many years ago and it failed. When they are not ready to ask for help, they are not ready to receive it. Sometimes it is pride. Sometimes it is because they do not think they deserve it. Most of the time it is because they do not understand what is going on inside of them.

If they think the wrong thing about PTSD, like it has more to do with being weak than the strength of their emotional core, they won't ask for help.

At that point, I'll do what I can for the family to understand it and give them enough knowledge to minimize turmoil in the home. Every now and then, the veteran ends up calling because he/she no longer feels it is their fault.

Too many veterans have no one to help them get to the healing they need because others get in the way. They tell them things that are simply not true. Then there is a lot of judgment going on much like what Jesus healed the man at the pool on the Sabbath. 

He got into trouble for doing it on that day when no one was supposed to work. I'd love to hear the explanation from the people working at the temple how it was ok for them but no one else. Still seems to me that Jesus was in fact doing more than they were with something that was actually on behalf of God and not raising funds for their pockets.

41 “I don’t need praise from people.  

42 But I know you—I know that you don’t have God’s love in you.  

43 I have come from my Father and speak for him, but you don’t accept me. But when another person comes, speaking only for himself, you will accept him.  

44 You try to get praise from each other, but you do not try to get the praise that comes from the only God.

If you need help, ask for it. If you do not get what you need, then ask someone else. Sooner or later you'll find the help that has been there all along just waiting for you to seek it.

Point Man International Ministries 
Hotline: 1-800-877-VETS (8387)