Demons Defeated UK Veteran--MoD Left Him Unarmed to Fight PTSD

'Demons are winning': Heartbreaking last letter of traumatised soldier who killed himself after he was 'failed by MoD'

The Mirror

Sean Rayment

September 30, 2017

The wife of a British soldier who committed suicide after being ­diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder says he was ­abandoned by the military.

Sarah Emslie said her husband, who served in both Gulf wars, took his own life after a 20-year battle with mental illness triggered by the horrors of war.

Mike Emslie, 44, who hanged himself a week before Christmas, left a suicide note saying: “The demons are winning the battle.

“I have seen things nobody should ever see and I see it everywhere I go.”

Sarah said they asked the Army for help but were told that there were no resources available to treat veterans with PTSD.

Instead – like many other military ­sufferers – the couple were simply advised to visit their GP and seek advice from military charities.

Mike served in both Gulf wars in Iraq (Image: Daily Record)

Mike Emslie's last email to his wife

My sweet, darling wife, this is probably the toughest email I’m going to write. But this isn’t the real me.

The demons are winning the battle, I can’t keep going any more and I’m so tired. I have seen things nobody should ever see and I see it ­everywhere I go and it’s eating away at me. It hurts babe, it’s been 20 years of pain and so much that I can only think of one way to stop the pain.

I know that you think I’m a coward for doing this but the pain is way to much for me, I’m not a strong man any more I don’t want to feel the pain any more.

Tell our son I love him so much and that I’m am so proud of the person he has grown into. Everything I have left I give to you both. Please don’t mourn me I don’t ­deserve it. Just know I’ve never stopped loving you both. I’ll be looking down on you both. All my love, Mike.
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