Terrible Love "A bittersweet autopsy" of Combat PTSD and love

It doesn't have to end like this
Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 13, 2014

First the good news. No relationship has to end just because they come home with PTSD. We've been married 30 years. The other good piece of news is, if I can learn what PTSD and the difference between what civilians get compared to what veterans end up with, anyone can. If I can learn what it is, why "he" has it but others didn't and what I can do to help him live a better life, anyone can.

All too often, it is not about how much we love them but more about what we are willing to do to make it work.

Terrible Love

About three years ago I received an odd phone call. His name is Christopher Thomas. He said he found my site while searching for information on PTSD. Christopher told me that while he never served, some of his friends did and he wanted to do something to help veterans. He wanted to tell their stories through their eyes. No Hollywood type looking to make a fast buck. This project meant something to him.

I put him to the test. I told him where he could find my videos. I told him to catch up and contact me with any questions he had. He did and he had plenty of them.

I still wasn't sure about him until I asked "What's your goal?" His answer was "To do whatever I can no matter what I have to do."

There were times over the years when the title of the movie was part of what he was going through, when it seemed as if this movie would never get made. He didn't give up. The script was done and redone. The done again. After that, it was a matter of finding the people. He just kept trying until he found the right actors, crew, places to film and people to lend a hand.

The day the movie was finished was not the end of the story. Much like the lives of our veterans when they come home. Their jobs while deployed are over. National Guardsmen take off their uniforms, go back to their families, friends and neighborhoods. Look forward to going back to work on their jobs, if they were lucky enough to still have one or start searching for a new one if not. The end of their service story is not done. It is never really finished. It becomes a part of them.

They can get lucky, have people surrounding them with a full understanding of what is going on with them even if they cannot feel it as well, or they can return to people pushing them away during a time when they need them the most.

Oh, it isn't always the fault of families or their friends. Most of the time it is a matter of no one told them anything they needed to understand to do anyone any good. They cared but they didn't know how to help. Now they may know just enough to change the conversation from what is wrong to what is right, what can heal and the reason they have PTSD.  They love.

They love the men and women they serve with to the point where they are prepared to die for their sake.  They love them enough to grieve so strongly it rips them apart but they push on those living on.

When people think about war, it is alway about the brutality of it forgetting about the strength of the human spirit.  Compassion and courage always pushed aside simply because they cannot understand where all that comes from. That is is that very basis within them that compels them to serve when they know they could die.  Some simply feel it all more strongly than  others and that means they feel the pain more strongly than others. Then it feels terrible to love.

Terrible Love is in the Austin Film Festival

"A bittersweet autopsy of mental illness and lost love, Terrible Love tells the story of Rufus, a wounded veteran returning home from Iraq with post-traumatic stress disorder, and his devoted wife Amy. They promised themselves never to leave each other, but that promise is put to the ultimate test when Rufus’ PTSD becomes violent. Terrible Love dives head first into the heart-breaking effects of PTSD, the relationships it hurts, and the lives it threatens."

One in three veterans come home with PTSD. Terrible Love tells the authentic story of the struggles, dangers and sacrifices of a life and a relationship threatened by PTSD. 

Here's our trailer, and if you're in Austin, come see the full film at the Austin Film Festival - October 23 and 26


Terrible Love - Trailer from Helmsman Studios on Vimeo.