You Don't Have to Fight PTSD Alone

Combat PTSD: Don't Fight Your Own Inner Struggle Alone
Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 28, 2014

Most veterans have no problem with the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They know what PTSD means and why they ended up being changed by their military service. They know it is a price they paid for risking their lives for their military brothers. They made peace with all of it including the fact they can never be cured of it. What they could not reverse, they learned how to cope with it enough to take the power away from it.

They still have nightmares and flashbacks, but they happen less often growing weaker over time. They still have the same stressors setting them off but know how to recover faster. Their mind calendar still remembers anniversary dates but they see those days coming ahead of time. Able to prepare for the sadness of the event days in combat, they are no longer freaked out when they come.

They no longer isolate as if they have a reason to hide or are not worth being helped. They sought out other veterans, joined their "family" groups, found support and understanding after finally giving up on "fitting in" with people who will never be able to understand them. Life got better.

For others, well, they don't understand PTSD, so it is very hard to accept the words behind the letters PTSD. Put those letters to these words.

Painful Transition from Stressful Deployments.

While you may think changing the term is necessary to remove the stigma, you're wrong. You could call it anything you want but it is still what it is and there is nothing to be ashamed of having it. That is if you really understand what it is and where it came from. Came from? Yes, you didn't do it to yourself and it isn't something you were born with. It hit you. It hits roughly a third of combat veterans from one degree to another because it comes in different levels.

It also hits at different times. Most of the time you may not even be aware of when it started. Since combat comes with multiple traumatic events, it is often one on top of another. Sometimes you are able to shove it into the back of your mind, filling your days with other things leaving you no time to acknowledge the pain during the day and so exhausted at the end of the day, you pass out. Maybe you drink to cover up what your nerves are doing or to stop being agitated. All this just allows PTSD to fester and feed off your spirit robbing you of joyous emotions.

If you are so busy covering up what is painful, how can you find time to enjoy life?

Have you thought "Nobody cares" about you?

An Iraq veteran in Whitehouse Texas felt that way. He tried to commit suicide one night on a road near Lake Tyler. When Police Officer Sgt. Shawn Johnson found him covered in blood, the event was recorded by dashcam video.

On the video, the officers can be heard talking with the man and asking him why he wanted to end his life. When he tells them he feels nobody cares about him they respond, "We care. If we didn't care we wouldn't be here, right?"

He had used a broken beer bottle to cut himself and was losing a lot of blood.

"(We) went and spoke with him and as I was talking with him, he moved his arm and then I could actually see blood start, you know, coming out rather quickly," Johnson recalled.

Minutes went by as they, along with Tyler police officers, awaited EMS.

It isn't that nobody cares. Plenty of people do. You just haven't met them yet. Think about it this way. You know there are billionaires and millionaires in this country. Have you met any? Does that mean they don't exist? No, they are very real. They just haven't been where you were. Same thing with people caring about what happens to you. They care without even knowing your name.

Suicides tied to military service are horrible. All suicides are however when they come after a man or woman has managed to survive combat cannot survive being home, that screams a multitude of sins committed against them.

The sins did not belong to them but all of us.

Marine Clay Hunt committed suicide after doing everything right on his part. He went to the VA, became an advocate for other veterans. He didn't stop there. He became part of TEAM Rubicon going out on missions following natural disasters.

Although he battled post-traumatic stress disorder, he had 'turned his life around' and thrown himself into charity work and lobbying.

His mother, Susan Selke, told CNN: 'In my mind he is a casualty of war. But he died here instead of over there. He died as a result of his war experience. There is no doubt in my mind.' His death will not be counted as an official military suicide by the Pentagon, because he left the Marines in 2009.

Doctor needs to explain what comes after seeking help when so many have been failed. The military fails them then turns around claiming year after year what they are doing is working. Ok then, why are there so many still committing suicides just as the number of enlisted goes down as well? Why have the number of veterans committing suicide increasing?

They say peer support works best and that is very true but what they don't say is too often the "peer" has no clue what PTSD is or what can help, who can help or how to get any of it beyond a waiting line at the VA and a pocket full of pills.

There are things that do work but the first one is far too often the most ignored one.

Spirituality Spirituality means something different to everyone. For some, it's about participating in organized religion: going to church, synagogue, a mosque, etc. For others, it's more personal: Some people get in touch with their spiritual side through private prayer, yoga, meditation, quiet reflection, or even long walks.

Research shows that even skeptics can't stifle the sense that there is something greater than the concrete world we see. As the brain processes sensory experiences, we naturally look for patterns, and then seek out meaning in those patterns. And the phenomenon known as "cognitive dissonance" shows that once we believe in something, we will try to explain away anything that conflicts with it.

Humans can't help but ask big questions—the instinct seems wired in our minds.

It isn't up to anyone to judge if you need to be forgiven or not. That is your own inner struggle just as much as if you need to forgive someone else. Often there is nothing you did wrong but you may believe you did.
Survivor guilt is very powerful.

High on that list of emotions is guilt. Soldiers often carry this burden home-- survivor guilt being perhaps the kind most familiar to us. In war, standing here rather than there can save your life but cost a buddy his. It's flukish luck, but you feel responsible. The guilt begins an endless loop of counterfactuals-thoughts that you could have or should have done otherwise, though in fact you did nothing wrong. The feelings are, of course, not restricted to the battlefield. But given the magnitude of loss in war, they hang heavy there and are pervasive. And they raise the question of just how irrational those feelings are, and if they aren't, of what is the basis of their reasonableness.

Start with that. Asking why you are still here is the beginning but it shouldn't be the end. If you do not ask yourself the basic questions, you will not make peace with the guilt you feel.

Be honest. Think about what happened. Where were you, what were you doing and what else was happening?

Often a veteran will say "I should have been watching him" when the truth is, they were watching where the bullets were coming from and trying to stop them from coming. Reality sucks but the reality is humans cannot look everywhere at the same time.

Whatever happened, think about it all the way. Even if you come to the conclusion you could have done something differently, which happens a lot, that shouldn't be the answer you settle for. The big question is, would it have changed anything?

"I would have jumped in front of the bullet and saved him" comes out a lot. Unless you had ESP and super human reactions, that really wasn't a possibility.

Thinking you were responsible only shows how deeply you cared.

The very fact you are hurting now proves you cared then and now. Evil people don't give a damn about anyone but themselves. Folks joining the military need to care. You wouldn't have joined if you didn't care in the first place and cared a hell of alot more than your friends did when they decided to just do what they wanted to for their own sake.

That is the biggest reason why you feel as if you don't fit in with them anymore. You don't but if you think about it, you never really did or they would have joined too. You were different then and different now as a veteran. That is a big key in healing. You are not different from other veterans no matter what war they fought in.

You are not as alone as you think you are. You just haven't found them yet. Use the internet for veterans groups in your area. Try the established groups like the DAV, VFW, American Legion and all the others.

Here's the link for local chapters of the DAV Getting involved in your local DAV Chapter is one of the many ways you can reach out to fellow veterans in your community.

DAV Chapter members usually meet monthly to network and discuss issues of importance to veterans and the organization. Legislation, volunteer efforts and community projects are among the topics discussed, as well as upcoming events and activities. Chapters often hold formal ritual ceremonies in which new members are inducted into the organization.

Link to local Posts of the VFW

WE KNOW WHAT'S IMPORTANT
OUR MISSION:To foster camaraderie among United States veterans of overseas conflicts. To serve our veterans, the military, and our communities. To advocate on behalf of all veterans.

OUR VISION: Ensure that veterans are respected for their service, always receive their earned entitlements, and are recognized for the sacrifices they and their loved ones have made on behalf of this great country.

OUR CORE VALUES:

Always put the interests of our members first
Treat donors as partners in our cause
Promote patriotism
Honor military service
Ensure the care of veterans and their families
Serve our communities
Promote a positive image of the VFW
Respect the diversity of veteran opinions

Link to Post of the American Legion

The American Legion was chartered and incorporated by Congress in 1919 as a patriotic veterans organization devoted to mutual helpfulness. It is the nation’s largest wartime veterans service organization, committed to mentoring youth and sponsorship of wholesome programs in our communities, advocating patriotism and honor, promoting strong national security, and continued devotion to our fellow servicemembers and veterans.

If you Google "Veteran Support Groups" you'll find 10,700,000 results. They all care. They all know what you are going through because they did too.

The older veterans faced not fitting back in with people they knew after Vietnam. What made it worse for them was that they didn't even fit in with other veterans. They were totally isolated but that wasn't the end of their story. They ended up heading all the groups above. If you think they won't get what you are dealing with, think about what they came home to.

Here is the link to Vietnam Veterans of America for local chapters.

Vietnam Veterans of America (VVA) is the only national Vietnam veterans organization congressionally chartered and exclusively dedicated to Vietnam-era veterans and their families.

By the late 1970s, it was clear the established veterans groups had failed to make a priority of the issues of concern to Vietnam veterans. As a result, a vacuum existed within the nation's legislative and public agenda. In January 1978, a small group of Vietnam veteran activists came to Washington, D.C., searching for allies to support the creation of an advocacy organization devoted exclusively to the needs of Vietnam veterans. VVA, initially known as the Council of Vietnam Veterans, began its work. At the end of its first year of operation in 1979, the total assets were $46,506.

"Never again will one generation of veterans abandon another."

You are not alone and you are worthy of living a better life than you are right now.

You are not alone!