Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 13, 2014
A veteran is sitting in the VA Doc's office with his wife. He was told to bring her. The Doc walks in with a folder. Pulls his glassed to the tip of his nose and says, "I wanted your wife with you because I have some bad news." The Vet squeezed his wife's trembling hand. "The test came back and you're going to die." The Vet asks how long he has to live. The Doc replies, "Judging by the results, probably when your grandkids get married." The Vet looks at him and says, "But I'm only 26!" Doc smiles and says "Exactly! Now don't you feel better?"
Everything in life depends on how you learn it. What you hear may not always be what it actually turns out to be.
Borrowing a line from Joan Rivers, "Can we Talk?" Military Suicide Prevention has not worked, clearly, but what does prevent them is never really talked about. Starting with the bad news.
They set aside September to address suicides connected to military life. Military Suicide Prevention Month report from 2010 pretty much sums up the untold truth.
What is it?
The Army will demonstrate our ongoing commitment to enhancing Health Promotion / Risk Reduction / Suicide Prevention (HP/RR/SP) programs for Soldiers, Department of the Army (DA) civilians, and families by observing Army Suicide Prevention Month, Sept. 1 - 30, 2010, in conjunction with National Suicide Prevention Week, Sept. 5 - 11, 2010. Suicide Prevention Month is an Army-wide opportunity to raise awareness, understanding, and use of Army HP/RR/SP programs among our key internal and external audiences.
What has the Army done?
Over 160 Active-duty Soldiers committed suicide during 2009, continuing a five-year trend of increasing suicides in the Army. In response, the Army instituted a multi-level, holistic approach to HP/RR/SP that recognizes the many challenges our Soldiers, families and Army civilians face.
When the DOD started to "prevent suicides" 160 soldiers committed suicide.
2012 1,393,948
2013 1,372,336
2014 1,347,187
For the first quarter of 2014 they reported these suicides
The Department of Defense reported this week that 120 members of the military had taken their lives in the first quarter of calendar year 2014.
The number of first-quarter 2014 military suicides included 74 active-duty personnel, 24 Reservists and 22 members of the National Guard.
As for the Department of Veterans Affairs,
"Veterans over the age of 50 who had entered the VA healthcare system made up about 78 percent of the total number of veterans who committed suicide"The number of younger veterans committing suicide have also increased.
Yet, suicides by veterans from 18 to 29 have jumped from 40.3 to 57.9 per 100,000 from 2009 to 2011, a 44 percent increase, the VA announced earlier this year.California, Texas and Florida have the most veterans but were not part of the data collected on veteran suicides. Florida is among the top states with the highest number of veterans committing suicide. Rates of Combat PTSD are sky high but while real experts talk about how combat PTSD is different from other types of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, we are allowing them to be lumped in with all other causes of PTSD leaving too many failed by "prevention" that does not work.
In Florida, the numbers are staggering.
Although veterans make up only 8 percent of the state’s population, they accounted for more than 25 percent of its suicides, according to the report.
Between 1999 and 2011, 31,885 suicides were reported in the state, according to the Florida Department of Health. That would mean more than 8,000 Florida veterans took their lives during those 13 years, according to the VA.
The numbers put Florida among states with the highest percentage of veteran suicides — but the numbers don't explain why.
So when do we actually get honest? When do we get past what has not worked and start doing what does work? When do they stop taking their own lives after risking them for someone else?
When do we talk about how the other 22 million veterans live, heal, love and find hope again? When do we talk about how they need to stop trying to fit in with people who will never understand them and start to tell them there are millions of other veterans who not only understand them, but prove they do belong with them?
Suicide Prevention is a nice title but clearly the numbers show talking about them hasn't worked on preventing them from happening. We need to start talking about healing them instead!
Can't fit in? That depends on who you want to fit in with. Expecting to fit in with civilians after the military is like me thinking I can fit in with models when my favorite food is dessert. It ain't gonna happen! I can't understand them and they sure won't understand me. Same way with expecting civilians to understand someone deciding to join the military with all you know you'll have to put up with, let go of and endue to prepare you to risk your life for others. Think about it. Did your friends understand you wanting to join? Did they join with you?
Bet they didn't get it. Bet they tried to talk you out of it. So if you didn't fit in then, what makes you think you can fit in with them after you put your life on the line. After you sacrificed years of brutal conditions, endless hours on edge, watching friends get shot, blown up, wounded and gone in a second? All of this while they stayed here working for more money, less hours, time to party, go to movies, watch reality TV shows and the only danger they faced was their commute to work?
You do fit in with others like you. Other veterans who have been there and done that. They are the only ones knowing exactly what you're talking about when you don't even say a word. They know when you need to sit and when it is time to walk you away from a crowd. They know when you need to laugh again and they know how to do it. They also know how important it is that you find a place where you don't have to explain for the hundredth time where you were.
They won't force you to talk but make you feel comfortable when you need to.
Above all, when it comes to healing, the answer is alway right in front of you. They do it all the time. They do it with their own kind and for their own kind. They can tell you what it was like when they came home, what didn't work as much as they can tell you what did work.
You won't find what they have to give you if you don't go where they are.
If you live in Central Florida, every month there is at least one post up about veterans events right here and there are plenty of them. Take a look at what is going on in the veterans community and plan to spend some time with other veterans. There are many groups of veterans all over the state and patriotic folks for your families.
You have the DAV, VFW motorcycle bikers groups like the Orlando Nam Knights and the Green Swamp Chapter and groups like Semper Fidelis America
You are part of a group that represents 7% of the population but there are 22 million of you. You won't find them sitting alone on the computer but keep in mind, they found each other without any computers at all. Vietnam veterans managed to do it before the internet. The key is, they wanted to. What's your excuse? Want to stay stuck where you are or do you want to heal and live a better life?
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