Veterans fit perfectly with their own

It Depends on Who You Think You Are Now
Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
August 24, 2014

How can you fit in with people who don't know you? It all depends on who you think you are after military service.

(NPR)

When average citizens stepped up to fight for freedom, they left their neighborhood without uniforms. Armed with their own weapons, wearing their own clothes, they knew they would have to fight against highly trained British forces.

They left their families, farms and businesses. What many do not talk about is the fact some of their neighbors were still loyal to the King of England and tried to kill them because they couldn't understand what freedom meant to those willing to die for it.

The Patriots obtained our freedom with their lives but it was the generations coming after them taking on the responsibility to retain it.

Army National Guards Units have been active ever since in each state across the nation. They signed up to protect and aid their own communities but ended up being deployed into combat operations with the other full time branches. Marine Corps Units, Army Units, Navy Units, Air Force.

Units became their family and the branch they served in became their community.

When veterans say "I just want to fit back in" the truth is, they never did and never will with civilians but they sure do fit in with other veterans. Civilians can't understand when someone sees defending this nation worthy or dying for.

We can read history but veterans lived it. They were hailed as heroes only a few times. The most memorable images were captured after WWII, but then again, everyone in this country was involved in that war in one way or another. Everyone was asked to do something, and they did. Doing something didn't stop when the war ended. They stepped up and geared up the government to take care of the wounded, the widows and orphans. They committed to helping veterans find jobs and places to live.

When I was growing up there were areas of cities nicknamed "Veterans Villages" where most veterans families settled. Even then veterans felt more at home with their own kind and so did their families.

My uncles served in WWII and my Dad served served in the Korean War. It was odd when my friends said their fathers didn't serve in the military at all but as I grew older the number of non-veteran families grew. For my husband, it was the same way. He's a Vietnam veteran. His Dad and uncles served in WWII. Most of his friends stayed home when he joined. When he came back home he never felt he belonged with any of them other than his buddy after he joined too. As he got older, he found more veterans just like him and knew that was where he felt "home" again.

Vietnam veterans were reviled by society back then. The older veterans didn't want anything to do with them but these veterans showed them what it meant to belong in this minority of military veterans. Vietnam veterans adopted a slogan “Never again will one generation of veterans abandon another” and they kept that promise. Now they are so revered fakes claim to be one of them.

They managed to find each other long before the internet and social media groups connected veterans across the country because they knew they were among the rare.

Today less than 1% serve in the military and only 7% of the population are veterans.

When I hear a veteran say they don't fit in, I agree with them and say "thank God you don't" because if they did, they would be like the rest of us only worried about our own families and our own problems.

They fit in perfectly with other veterans. That is what they all need to be reminded of. Our history is written with their blood, sweat, tears, fears, sacrifices but above all of that, their past is seen in the eyes of other veterans who don't need to guess about what makes them different from the rest of the population.

They come home, leave the family they risked their lives with for 4 years or more and feel as if they don't belong here anymore. Most say they want to go back in because it became part of who they were. No longer Soldier, Marine, Sailor or Airman, no longer civilian, they earned the title of veteran and that is where they belong. That is where they are understood as equals in one of the smallest minority groups there is.

If you are a veteran seek out other veterans because you do fit in and you do belong with them no matter what war they will not leave you behind to fight the hardest battle alone.

Use the internet to find veterans groups in your area.

This has a list of Chartered Veterans Groups

There is one of my favorite groups, the Nam Knights

Membership is made up of 50% police officers (active and retired) and also 50% Viet Nam and other military era veterans, plus a few "Patriots".

The organization's main interests are to stress the importance of helping our fellow police officers and family members that may be in need of assistance. We also place a great deal of importance in the well-being of our veterans and to bringing out the message to the general public about our prisoners of war and those that are missing in action. We support legislation for the benefit of veterans and veteran's facilities, the advancement of studies and treatment of Agent Orange, Post Traumatic Stress and Hepatitis C. Many of our projects are to benefit the Paramus Veterans Home, police personnel and the betterment and enjoyment of motorcycle safety.

We spend most of our free time with the Orlando Nam Knights.

Another favorite is Point Man International Ministries dedicated to healing Combat PTSD with Out Post for veterans and Home Fronts for families.

PMIM is run by veterans from all conflicts, nationalities and backgrounds. Although, the primary focus of Point Man has always been to offer spiritual healing from PTSD, Point Man today is involved in group meetings, publishing, hospital visits, conferences, supplying speakers for churches and veteran groups, welcome home projects and community support. Just about anywhere there are Vets there is a Point Man presence. All services offered by Point Man are free of charge.

I am the state coordinator for Florida and always looking for people to step up and take the lead of getting veterans into healing and out of hopelessness. The groups are designed to be small, much like a unit in the military where veterans feel like they are home again.

You are not alone!