Assholes among us

What is the difference between a PTSD advocate and an asshole? An advocate knows why you feel like crap and an asshole wants to make sure you feel worse.

Hey, if it is ok enough that Merriam Webster has it up, I can use it too.

Definition of ASSHOLE
1 usually vulgar : anus
2 a usually vulgar : a stupid, incompetent, or detestable person
b usually vulgar : the worst place —used in phrases like asshole of the world

If you talk to assholes, you get wrong answers that make you feel worse. If you talk to advocates, you usually walk away feeling a lot better.

Asshole will say "You were messed up before you went into the military."

Advocate will say, "Your lifetime struggles were not enough to stop you from risking that same life for someone else. You were able to overcome all you went through before the military but then needed help because of the military part of your life." In other words, since you were not too messed up to join and make it past their mental health evaluations, blaming your past doesn't make much sense.

An asshole will say, "Man up" "Grow a pair" and try to make you as "tough" as they think they are.

(Like to see them try that on some of the veterans with a Medal of Honor around their neck and the list of MOH heroes talking about their own battles with PTSD grows all the time.)

An advocate will say, "The pain was not caused by being back home. It was caused by being there. You had all that pain inside you but still managed to do your duty, watch out for those you were with until you all made it back home.

We can keep doing this all night but you get the point. All the crap you've been hearing lately about how your PTSD was not caused by the military but your past, isn't anything new. They used to shoot soldiers for being cowards when it was clearly PTSD. Now they just make sure you feel about as bad about yourself as possible so you stop blaming them and spend your own money on the bullet.

Got dumped by someone? Well that's why you're F'ed up. Why bother pointing out that your relationship was fine until you started to experience what PTSD does?

Got trouble sleeping? Well that's why you feel like crap all day. Why bother explaining why you have nightmares and flashbacks? Easy on that one. Helping you work through what is going on inside of you takes time. Slogans happen fast.

Want to share something with someone you hope will help only to end up feeling worse? Assholes don't care about what you want to say. They only care about what they want you to hear. This is happening all over Facebook in groups where veterans pour out their hearts only to get nonsense back like "I'll pray for you" while you don't have money to eat, have a gun in your hand or had everyone in your life walk away from you.

Same thing with charities. If you ask them for help for what they keep claiming they do and they don't, that means their mission has become getting money and fame for themselves and not about you.

Too many conversations lately about veterans reaching out for help and not getting the right kind of help just shows during a time when there have never been so many people out there claiming to help, it gets worse for veterans for a reason. There are assholes among us and when it comes to PTSD, refer back to #2 "stupid, incompetent, or detestable person"