Veterans need to think of needing help in a different way

A friend on Facebook had this picture up.

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It home with me for more than one reason. I am a "helper" and so are most of the people I know. Strange how that works. People tend to find their "own kind" because their "own kind" understand them. I spend my free time with veterans. My vocation is helping them and their families with PTSD since I am among their number as well. My husband is a Vietnam veteran.

Vocation and calling are literally the same words, one Latin and one Greek, and mean the deeper, longer story of one’s life, the commitments and passions, the gifts and skills, the loves and longings that make us “us.”
On Vocation and Occupation, Dr. Steven Garber, Washington Institute for Faith, Vocation and Culture

When I work for a paycheck, it comes from being a temp and at this time, the assignment is to do research for a title company. I have had many jobs over the years but for over 30 years, my vocation has been working on PTSD, especially Combat PTSD, trying to help veterans and their families learn the easy way what over half my life has taught me. But it goes even deeper than that.

Whenever I am asked what got me into this, I tell them simply "I am helping myself." In the beginning there was nothing available for veterans and families like mine. I remember what it felt like like and it was a very lonely place to be.

I have also discovered that having a helper nature makes it hard to ask for help when I need it. Right now I have been dealing with some health issues which awakened this avoidance to accept help. Long story short, I had a double infection (sinus and abscess tooth) requiring strong antibiotics. The medication ended up killing off the bad bacteria as well as the good. My body fought off what was wrong as long as it could until I gave up and went to the doctor yesterday. It is gross so I won't go into detail. Basically there is nothing inside of me besides air. Now I am on another round of antibiotic to fight off another infection and probiotics to counter that.

I prefer to spend the day in bed, away from everyone, so that I don't bother anyone. My family has been fabulous but it has been very hard to let them know what I need. I used to drag myself out of bed and get it myself most of the time.

You are the ones accustomed to doing for others to the point where you could pay for it with your life. That is your vocation. Being in the military is not just an occupation because it requires so much more than that. No matter what you do for a paycheck now, that desire to make a difference is still within you. Asking for help is just about as hard as admitting you need it.

Over the years, it has become easier to ask for help because I thought about it this way. When I help someone in need, I am fulfilling my vocation and I feel wonderful helping someone else. When I allow them to help me, I am passing on that blessing of sharing what that feels like. Allowing someone to help a helper is actually a greater blessing for them.