11-11 Forever Veterans Day for US

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 22, 2014

Today is 6-22 but today is also 11-11 for many families across the nation. November 11 is the day this country remembers veterans but what people don't seem to understand is, a veteran is a veteran everyday of the year for the rest of their lives.

While most in their age group worry about getting thru 4 years or more of college, they worry about surviving 4 years or more of military service. They have the same dilemmas, hopes and dreams their civilian peers but then they have the extra burdens of facing combat. After their service they spend the rest of their lives as veterans and their families go from civilian life to life as part of the military family.

Veterans and military folks are not like the rest of the 92% some odd population and we should thank God they are not. After all, they were responsible for standing up for the rest of us. One of the most common topics we talk about is the fact veterans usually expect to go back to the way they were before combat. It is what they seem to want the most. Fitting in seems really important and that is exactly what they get when they join groups with other veterans. Trying to fit back in with civilians is a waste of time and effort. They can't understand those who went and veterans, while they can remember what it was like to be a civilian, they also know what it was like to risk your life for someone else.

It doesn't matter which war or for what cause they were sent. Americans never agree with decisions made by politicians. It is happening right now with talk about sending forces back into Iraq. Some folks think they should go back and others are sure they shouldn't. Veterans are the same when it comes to issues of war. Some say they should have never left and others believe they shouldn't have been sent in the first place. It was the same way with the Vietnam War.

Richard Anderson, drafted at 18, sent to Vietnam: You're never the same
In 1981, when cheers greeted American hostages were freed by Iran after 444 days of captivity, he wondered why there were no cheers for returning Vietnam veterans.

Feeling angry and depressed, he sought out other veterans and found they too felt disrespected.

He joined a group for veterans started by Mark Sandman, a fellow veteran, and counselor Virginia McFadden that met for 12 weeks.

"It was the first PTSD group I was aware of," Anderson said. "We called each other, supported each other that what we were going through was OK. That's what war does to people. You'll never be the same and that's the way it is."

Sandman has gone on to become international consultant on treatment of psychological post-traumatic stress disorder, emphasizing the importance of veteran peer support.

Civilians also have a hard time understanding that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is not new. They can't understand, even after all these years that veterans are not more dangerous than civilians if they have it. As a matter of fact, when you consider how many generations, how many veterans this nation has living with PTSD, it is clear they are more dangerous to themselves than others. The suicide numbers prove that.

Pineview Church in Ypsilanti Michigan and Veterans Refuge Network is trying to do something to get the public's attention on this very simple fact. "The crosses represent the estimated 22 veterans of all ages who commit suicide each day, according to a 2010 study by the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs."

It isn't just about veterans of recent wars, but it is about all veterans risking their lives for each other and paying the price for the rest of their lives.

No one leaves war the same way they went into it. Even with redeployments, each time brings more changes inside of them. Each time builds on the other ones. For some, the change is not life altering but for others, the cuts are so deep they need help to find peace with themselves again.

While civilians focus on the VA scandals, we talk about how long it has been going on. We talk about the long waits and care delayed as much as we talk about the excellent care most do end up getting like my husband and my Dad had. We talk about the years members of congress have done everything possible to get themselves out of trouble with the voters while passing the problem on for the next congress to deal with. They all pretend the crisis is new but we remember the history of them passing bills and passing on bull. Where was all the outrage 7 years ago before 56,210 veteran suicides? Any clue?

We were outraged because we were paying attention all along. Families always paid the price right along side of the veterans no matter if civilians paid attention or not. We are forever 11-11 because Veterans' Day never ends for us.