PTSD and the Tooth Fairy

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 18, 2014

Earlier today I was in Publix (grocery store) when I saw a little girl with blood all over her hand. She didn't seem upset about the blood coming out of her mouth and then her Mom said in a tender voice, "Hang onto the tooth and we'll get you cleaned up." They headed to the ladies room.

This got me thinking that sometimes a natural thing can seem horrible until we understand what it actually means. The little girl was changing and growing up. Her baby teeth were falling out as part of a natural process we all go through. It could have been a much different experience had she not known what was happening. What if her Mom became afraid? What if her Mom got angry she had blood on her shirt? Things could have been much different and tonight she would not be expecting the tooth fairy to visit and swap the tooth for cash.

PTSD is a natural process as well but if we don't understand it, it can be terrifying. It can be horrible. Depending on how the people around us react, it can become something worse than it has to be.

Most of the time when I am speaking with veterans, the same topics seem to keep coming up. They want to go back to the way they were before, so I have to explain to them that no one is ever the same as they were the day before. We all change one day to the next. We just don't notice it. When they live through combat, it is not just one event but many experiences feeding of the others. It all builds up.

They need to know that it is because their have such strong emotions, they take on the pain of others along with their own. They have to care about other people to be willing to die for them but they forget that part. They have to care very deeply to be willing to endure all the hardships that come with military life.

They also have a strong desire to fit back in with "society" but I usually laugh. I have to remind them they never fit in and I am grateful for that. The current population of the military is less than 1% of the population. Veterans are less than 8%. Out of about 23 million, the VA is compensating less than 4 million for disabilities. They never fit in and they never will. The rest of us depend on their courage and being very different. We just forget that part.

What if everyone in the country understood that coming home from combat required the same TLC kids get when their teeth fall out? What if all of us supported them and helped them understand that having PTSD isn't a bad thing?

They can heal. That empty place can grow back. That pain they feel can be replaced with love and fuel their need to help others. They can see themselves as survivors and stop letting other people make them feel like victims.

They can understand that just as there are different causes of PTSD hitting civilians, they have a different type than other people end up with. PTSD also comes in different levels but in all cases of PTSD, healing is possible and with the right help they can come out on the other side with a remarkable smile.