Mother's Day Visiting Over 8,000 Graves After Veteran Suicides

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 11, 2014

Mother's Day is the day we get to be pampered for a change. One day a year when we get served breakfast or taken out for dinner. Our one day of rest if we are lucky. We spent the day with our kids and grandkids being their center of attention, or at least that is the way it is supposed to go.

Today it is good to focus on an all too often group of Moms forgotten about. They just don't fit our image of Moms today. This group has lost sons and daughters because of war but not during war. The stories of their children lives have ended but not the story of the Moms visiting graves today that did not need to be filled.

While it may seem strange to being with Mary, the Mother of Christ, we should not forget that how His life would end was known by Mary and Joseph all along. It was foretold 700 years before the day arrived when Mary waited as Christ was taken down from the cross.

The life sacrificed for all mankind had to have that ending yet Mary grieved all the same. She had 33 years to prepare for that day while not knowing the exact time it would happen. While she may have had peace with losing her Son, it did not mean the pain was not cutting her as deeply.

When military Moms are told by their children they want to risk their lives for the rest of the nation, they have no choice but to adapt and then accept the fact their child may give his or her life for this. Some Moms may wonder why their son or daughter would want to subject themselves to such a harsh and dangerous career. Once the decision is made, somehow they find peace with the choice and support them.

They worry. They worry about them during deployment into combat zones. They worry about them everyday semi preparing themselves for the phone call or the knock at the door telling them their son or daughter did not survive. The news comes he or she is coming home and a weight is lifted off Mom's shoulders. She believes her child is safe and will be home soon. The last thing she is thinking about is the risk to her child's life has not ended just because she was able to wrap her arms around them.

Jacob Hutchinson's Mom knows this story all too well. Jacob served in the National Guards as a combat medic. He was wounded in Afghanistan,“But his personality was larger than life, and that made the wounds on the inside harder to see.” Sela Gonlubol told a reporter from the Herald Times.

His mother said he found his place. “He had a purpose, a passion in his life,” she said.

Her last contact with Hutchinson was a text message asking if he still planned to visit her on Mother’s Day. “Yes, ma’am,” he replied.

Jacob committed suicide. His Mom will have to visit his grave. So will too many other Moms.

A report on California National Guard soldier came out the beginning of May.

"California Army National Guard, there have been 36 confirmed suicides since 2001, including 28 since 2007. The worst year was 2010 with seven confirmed suicides, followed by three, five and six."

Fifteen of the 36 suicides in the California Army Guard since 2001 were committed by Soldiers who had deployed at some point in their career, including three that occurred during a deployment and two that occurred while the soldier was on transitional leave following a deployment. The other 10 all occurred at least one year after deployment.

A few days later Kevin Cullen of the Boston Globe wrote a piece about the lack of attention these stories are getting from politicians.

I’m guessing that you and I know far more than we ever needed to know about the moronic billionaire who, for the time being, still owns the Los Angeles Clippers.

Meanwhile, Benghazi’s back. As if it ever went away. With Hillary Clinton eyeing the White House, Republicans will be shouting “Benghazi!” the next two years.

When the media and politicians get their teeth into something, it’s hard to break the grip.

So why won’t they sink their teeth into something more important than the controversy du jour?

The Veterans Administration says 22 veterans kill themselves every day.

Think about it. In March, not a single American service member was killed in action in Afghanistan or Iraq. But during that month, almost 700 veterans committed suicide.

The silence is deafening.

This subject has been screaming for another ending. An ending where the military and the VA have changed what they are doing since clearly, what they are doing has not been working for years. Congress just keeps pushing the same programs that have failed far too many.

After all these years with 22 million veterans, the VA is only taking care of less than 4 million but reports on the estimated veterans with PTSD is a third of combat veterans suffer. That means most are still not seeking help and even those who do, are not getting what they need to heal in far too many cases.

Some Moms know what PTSD is and how they can help but too many have no clue. They end up blaming themselves for what they did not do or for what they did playing what they said and what they heard over and over again in their mind searching for clues of what they missed or got wrong instead of wondering what the government got wrong. They blame themselves.

They were prepared for their sons and daughters to lose their lives for the sake of someone else. They were not prepared for them to be buried because their sacrifices were not treasured enough to have their wounds taken care of.

With an estimated 8.030 veterans committing suicide every year and hundreds more in the military, these Moms and wives have to visit the graves because we have learned nothing since last Mother's Day and let it happen. These Moms were never even warned how their story of their children would end long after they thought the risk was over.