Warrior Soul Mates Learn Healing at Tampa VA

Emotions are not the problem and this point was stressed over and over again. Holding it in and not releasing it is bad and that is the truth. How can you find room to be happy if bad feelings fill you up? Feeling is good but when it is brought on by something bad, it takes hold and until you overcome it. Think it is impossible? It isn't.

Too often veterans feel as if they are trapped in the pain but that is just because they don't see PTSD truthfully. The truth is, PTSD was caused by something bad that happened. It changes the way they think, the way they feel and the way they react. The truth is also that they can change again. Yep, change again. Not a secret. No trick.

If they stop wanting to fit back in again with people who never experienced what they did, then they are in for a huge disappointment. They can't understand that their experiences put them into a different reality. The clincher is, no one has the same experiences and it isn't a contest. One member of a unit may need more help than others and one may be able to give more care than anyone else. One may be a total jerk on the surface but his history could have been a lifetime of rotten events and he just needs someone to show they care. Who knows? Who can be the judge?

The problem is they do judge. They judge themselves harder than anyone else. They want to go back to the way they were before and when they can't they think it is their fault. They believe the BS that their suffering has to be about what is wrong with them. They may think everyone else they were with was just stronger than they were but PTSD has nothing to do with how mentally strong someone is. It has more to do with how strong their ability to feel is. Yes, you read that right. The stronger they can feel good things, the stronger they feel bad things.

As for loving them, well, what you may love the most about them is also what can cause them the most pain.

If you love a veteran then think of it this way.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
New International Version (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

If you make it more about helping them through the dark days and less about how they make you feel. When you understand that none of it is coming from a mean place but is coming from a hurting place inside of them, the more you are able to not take it personally and help them heal.

Veterans, Caregivers Learn to Be Healing to Each Other in Innovative Warrior to Soul Mate Programs
Fatherhood Channel
by ROB HENTHORN
APRIL 15, 2014

“There is significantly greater understanding, an enhanced ability to resolve conflict in a positive way, really talk to and hear one another, and have new ways of nurturing a close intimate, and respectful relationship with each other, which then affects the entire household in a positive way.”

Chaplain Barbara Nollie
James A. Haley Veterans’ Hospital
Tampa, Florida

by ROBERT HENTHORN
FATHERHOODCHANNEL.COM

The Department of Veterans Affairs is continuing to expand innovative efforts to help Veterans strengthen relationships with spouses, significant others and caregivers through relationship skills training many have found helpful to reducing symptoms of stress, boosting relationship happiness and resiliency

First lady Michelle Obama last week called on Americans to match the sacrifice of the military families with support for them. “We have to keep asking ourselves, what more can we do,” she said at a joint meeting with Jill Biden, former Senator Elizabeth Dole and former first lady Rosalyn Carter.

Nearly 5.5 million Americans are caring for service members and Veterans, including 1.1 million who are caring for someone who served after Sept. 11, 2001. Many of those Veterans and service members are impacted by traumatic stress, which can take a heavy toll on relationships.

A study from the National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder found, “People diagnosed with PTSD are three to six times more likely to divorce than those without PTSD.” Drs. Candice Monson and Casey Taft reported that a PTSD diagnosis was associated with a 400 percent increase in the likelihood of marital distress. Earlier this year, Jennifer Price, PhD, and Susan Stevens, PsyD reported on research that found ”Veterans’ PTSD symptoms can negatively impact family relationships and that family relationships may exacerbate or ameliorate a veteran’s PTSD.”
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How to Go from Anger, Fear and Sadness to Relief and Love