Australian Soldier Suicides Triple Afghanistan Combat Deaths

Soldier suicide: Number of veterans taking own lives more than triples Afghanistan combat toll
ABC News Australia
AM By Rachael Brown
Updated Tue 22 Apr 2014

Friday's Anzac Day events will commemorate those who fought and fell in wars - but what of those whose names will never be on memorial plaques, those who continued their struggle with demons back home, and lost?

The number of serving and former soldiers who have committed suicide is now more than triple Australia's combat toll in Afghanistan.

Retired Major Anthony Krupa has been married for 15 years, but he was wedded to his job even longer - 18 years, including 11 deployments.

He was addicted to the work, but now it haunts him.

"Back in Bougainville, one of the locals murdered a woman and child," he said.

"[They were] massacred with a machete. That was very difficult, we weren't armed, we weren't in a position to be able to do anything.

"I do have flashbacks of the situation in Iraq in 2005. The Iraqis had detained this insurgent, they were electrocuting him. I still recall the smell of the burning flesh to this day."

On the eve of a posting in 2012, Major Krupa suffered a mental breakdown and tried to kill himself. He confesses he hit rock bottom again last month.

"I crashed that night and once again I found myself in a dark place - 4:00am, not being scared, not worrying about the future of my wife and children, and just saying, 'That's it'," he said.

As with countless veterans, the question nags: "If I'm not a soldier, who am I?"
read more here