Navy captain opens up about depression and hope

Navy captain opens up about depression and hope
WUSA
Andrea A McCarren
February 19, 2014

WASHINGTON, D.C. (WUSA9) -- Only on 9, a Navy Captain speaks publicly about something rarely discussed openly: mental illness in the military.

Twenty-two service members commit suicide every month, and Captain Todd Kruder and his wife Sharon hope that by sharing their story, they will help reduce the stigma.

Andrea McCarren visited with the Kruders to talk about depression and hope.

"It's like being on a ship by yourself that's so, so close to the rocks and the fog, and you're the only one. It's dark, it's miserable and you could be crashing into those rocks at anytime. In fact, you almost want to. At a point you get to, you just want to," said Captain Todd Kruder.

He served nine months in Iraq, but it was his battle with severe depression that nearly claimed his life.

"Depression's like that fog. It's dark, it's gloomy, it's miserable," he said. Kruder has attempted suicide three times—once, nearly exercising himself to death, dropping a dangerous amount of weight. He worked out as often as seven times a day.

"Depression is in my life and it doesn't matter about rank, rate, where you come from, what you've done, how many deployments you've made, it doesn't matter," he said.

He also stood on a 5th floor balcony, ready to jump. But he says, he "chickened out." Another time, he was ready to take a fistful of sleeping pills, when his son walked in.

From the outside, Kruder appeared to have it all—a loving wife, five happy children and a successful career. But for more than five years, he has waged a daily battle against severe depression—a form of mental illness.
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