Veterans Forever Young

Veterans Forever Young
Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 5, 2013

Tomorrow it will be 31 years since I met the man who would change my life. Over half my life has been spent with Jack.

All these years later, all the memories, good and bad, have taught me a lot more about veterans than being raised by one.

Today driving into work listening to oldies a Rod Stewart song came on. Forever Young. All I could think about what how young Jack was when he was in Vietnam. He was 18 when this picture was taken. The thing most of us forget is that most of them were young when they went into combat.

Forever Young
Songwriters: CREGAN, JIM / DYLAN, BOB / HARLEY, STEVE / SAVIGAR, KEVIN
(R. Stewart /J. Cregan / K. Savigar)

May the good lord be with you
Down every road you roam
And may sunshine and happiness
Surround you when you're far from home
And may you grow to be proud
Dignified and true
And do unto others
As you'd have done to you
Be courageous and be brave
And in my heart you'll always stay
Forever young

May good fortune be with you
May your guiding light be strong
Build a stairway to heaven
With a prince or a vagabond
And may you never love in vain
And in my heart you'll always remain
Forever young

And when you finally fly away
I'll be hoping that I served you well
For all the wisdom of a lifetime
No one can ever tell

But whatever road you choose
I'm right behind you, win or lose
Forever young

The part of our brain that controls emotions is not fully developed until the age of 25 but we send 18 and 19 year olds into combat then expect then to just come home and get over it. The fact is, part of them stays forever young no matter how old they get.

Their memories are as much a part of them as their families are. The buddies they had, the ones they lost, are part of them. Don't expect them to forget anymore then you would expect them to get over their blood family.

We expect them to be courageous and brave but don't seem willing to allow them to be human and grieve.

We expect them to be dignified and true, but we can't seem to be able to understand when they are hurting and in need.

We expect them to be proud but we don't seem too willing to make sure they are not left to feel ashamed of the way their lives turn out when we don't turn up to help them. We don't make sure their claims get approved so they can support themselves. We don't make sure they know how to reconnect to everything they need to heal and we sure as hell don't really support them. Hell we don't support their families either and I can attest to that personally.

The best thing of all of these years is I have also seen what people can do when they want to. I've seen wives stand by their husbands even longer than I have. I've seen veterans take their own pain and then do whatever it takes to help another veteran fighting their own battles with them and not alone.

So when you think of what we put them through when they are so young, maybe then you'll be a bit more understanding when as they age, combat stays with them. With help they heal and it does not destroy them. Without it, PTSD takes over and we lose them.

I edited the old picture of my husband and his buddies because it was pretty faded but I cannot edit a part of his life anymore than I would want to. It is part of him. I wish I could Photoshop his pain away but his memories are as important as his buddies were to him back then. It all goes into the man he is today and I thank God I stayed all these years.