Veterans' wives still don't know how to help husbands heal

I Don't Know How to Help My Husband
MS. VICKI


Dear Ms. Vicki,
I am worried about my husband of one year. Before we met, he was enlisted in the Army. He had two tours and then became a recruiter. He has been out of the Army for several years and gets VA benefits.

He now has horrible anxiety. At least once a week, he has nights where he says he feels like he can’t breathe or is having a heart attack. We have visited the ER several times, where he is told it’s an anxiety attack and given a sedative.

Little things set him off into an angry rage. We have two dogs that we have rescued, and they are taking some time to train. If the dogs bark or have an accident in the house, he screams and yells to the point that I have to leave the room and the dogs are terrified.

He has not been able to hold a job for a long time because of anger issues. He tells me all the time that the best thing he has ever done was serving in the military and nothing in his life will ever measure up to that.

He has not been diagnosed with PTSD, and when I bring up the idea of getting help, he tells me that it is too difficult to go to the VA.

He is still in contact with several other soldiers and recently found out that one had been killed in combat. This really upset him (which I completely understand).
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