Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 14, 2013
Veterans seeking death over life is at least 55 a day and James Shearer was one of them on September 9, 2013. The latest report says that 22 veterans a day are ending their own lives but when you factor in the latest report on attempted suicides, that means 55 a day no longer want to live. Suicides are always more tragic than losing someone to an illness, accident or crime but when it is a veteran, police officer or firefighter the anguish runs deeper. Why? Because they proved their cared about the lives of other people, risked their lives to keep them alive but ended up taking their own.
Family and friends left behind are faced with the loss of someone they cared about but grieving for them is different. It comes with a lot of questions. What did they miss? What didn't they hear? What didn't they say? What could they have done differently? They blame themselves.
I could sit here 24-7 and tell them it was not their fault but the truth is, it was not the veteran's fault either. Until we wake up to the fact that most of what is being done has not worked, we will see more and more deaths that didn't need to happen.
Young vet had served in Iraq
Friends, family mourn loss; suicide scenario all too familiar, experts say
Clarion Ledger
Dustin Barnes
Sep. 12, 2013
Jackson State University students are mourning the death of one of their own, a young veteran known for his smile and friendship just as much as he was for his rapping, which earned him the nickname “Skittles.”
Sgt. James Shearer served in Iraq in 2009-10, returning to marry his sweetheart, Heather, and become the proud father of his 1-year-old son, Brian. The 23-year-old Mississippi National Guardsman was in his senior year at JSU where he was majoring in political science.
The news of his death Sunday rippled through Facebook, shocking many of his friends from high school, the military and college.
"The Jackson native died by suicide, confirmed Hinds County Coroner Sharon Grisham-Stewart.
Dr. Jefferson Parker, chief of mental health at Jackson’s G.V. “Sonny” Montgomery Veterans Affairs Medical Center, said many veterans are exposed to extremely difficult circumstances.
“They are obligated to do things that are outside what we commonly experience in society,” Parker said. “Once those things are part of your life, they don’t go away.”
The specter of overseas doesn’t stop haunting veterans once they return to their old lives back home, he said."
read more here
How do I know what they are going through? I am one of them. My husband wanted to die in the early 90's but he is alive and doing better. His nephew is not. He committed suicide. While I know I did more than most to try to help him because of all I knew, it wasn't enough. Every time I read another story on another life gone, there is a knot in my stomach. Right now I am wondering what I missed. What didn't I say to him? What didn't he say to me? Why didn't he call me before he checked himself into a motel room where he knew he wouldn't be walking out the door? These questions have haunted me for 13 years because he was a veteran of Vietnam.
Every family I work with now goes through the same things and most take on the fight to keep others alive. The pain doesn't really ever go way just because they did.
James will forever live in my heart where he's resided since the day he was born.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you and your family have to go through all of this. I am more sorry that this country never managed to fix it when other generations came home and lives like your son's could have been saved.
ReplyDeleteI miss you Skittles! I’ve moved to FL now and I still think about you. I miss talking to you. You were the best classmate from middle school and you stayed my friend all the way until adulthood. You were so loyal. You were so needed. I don’t know why you had to leave us. I’m still hurting. I miss you dear friend!!!
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