Military Suicide Leaves Survivors Struggling With Shame and Guilt

Military Suicide Leaves Survivors Struggling With Shame, Guilt And Social Stigma
Huffington Post
David Wood
September 23, 2013

The first thing that Shanette Booker had to do, when she awoke one dawn to find that her husband, Army Staff Sgt. Andre Booker, had shot himself to death on the floor of their bedroom closet, was to gulp down her shock and horror and get her two young boys out of the house.

She took them to a friend's place down the street, somewhere safe and familiar, and arranged a sleepover for that night so she could deal with the police, the coroner and the funeral home. Finally, she checked into a local hotel and, alone at last, broke down.

The rising toll of military and veteran suicides -- 350 active-duty troops and some 8,000 veterans last year -- is a needless tragedy, a national failure to fully address the underlying problems of stress and mental health disorders, suicide experts say.

But the immediate, crushing impact lands on the families. These survivors are stunned, blindsided by violence that seems to come without warning, and left alone to struggle with shame and guilt. They, too, are Invisible Casualties.

"Families very often fall apart," said Kim Ruocco, who started a suicide survivors support group after her husband, John, a Marine Cobra gunship pilot, took his life in 2005. "You find addiction, multiple suicide attempts among other family members, and reclusiveness -- people have pulled out of their churches and communities because they haven't gotten the support they need," she said. "Survivors after a suicide loss are at a much higher risk of suicide themselves."
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