The silent scream of PTSD

The silent scream of PTSD
by Kathie Costos
Wounded Times Blog
May 29, 2013

Wounded Times Blog
Let them know you need to be rescued this time.
You'd do it for them.

There is a great commercial to raise awareness on how to spot a stroke. It is called F.A.S.T. Face drooping, arm weakness, speech difficulty and time to call 911. In the commercial a friend approaches someone having a stroke. With every question, you hear a voice "I'm having a stroke." The friend can't hear those words. They come from inside the head of the one suffering. Words just don't come out.

Some needs to do a commercial like that for PTSD since most of the time the words just don't come out. I need help. My head won't rest. I can't stop seeing stuff. I can't calm down. My heart feels like it is going to explode. There are so many things they suffer from but their words just don't come out.

It is not that they are unable to speak. They are unable to communicate what they are feeling.

For some at first they believe they will eventually get over it. They think about other times they survived something horrific and they'll just be able to do it again. As time goes by, some manage to stuff it into the back of their heads, get busy with other things and avoid doing anything about it.

The nightmares come. Then they come more often. Soon it is a matter of finding anything to help them sleep. Sometimes that "something" is getting drunk enough to pass out and they pass that off as falling asleep. Even then the nightmares come.

Sometimes the flashbacks get stronger to the point where they are not sure where they are when the past comes back. They are feeling it all over again. Their bodies react the same way as if the bombs are blowing up, fire is burning and bullets are flying. They feel all of it. They smell the same scents.

When nightmares and flashbacks come, if you have no clue what they are going through it is like the stroke commercial. You know something is wrong but they just can't communicate with you.

They are able to speak but they can't find the words that will get you to understand them. If they pick the wrong words, how can they be sure you won't be afraid of them? If they push you away so you won't be able to figure it out, how can you know they are in pain instead of just being a jerk? If they tell you what is happening inside, how can they be sure you won't run away from them?

In 2007 the military was pushing Battlemind. A brainwashing cluster dump masquerading as preventing PTSD. The theory was the troops could train their brains to become mentally tough. Well that put them at great risk. Telling them that was like telling them if they didn't train right, they were mentally weak. Suicides went up. This program was replaced with "resilience training" equally harmful leaving them with the impression PTSD had more to do with being weak and not training right than being a human capable of strong emotional ties to what they saw and what they had to do.

The military needed to do something but ended up increasing suicides, attempted suicides and suffering instead of healing.

It fed the stigma, thus feeding reasons to remain in denial. Then came anger. Anger they couldn't get over it. Anger they couldn't forgive. They couldn't forgive themselves for not getting over it, forgive others or forgive themselves for what they had to do. No one was reminding them of the fact being able to feel after all that was not a sign of weakness but one of strength, not evil but one of goodness still remaining despite everything hell had to shove at them.

No one told them that pushing away the people in their lives would not protect their pride because they didn't want to admit they were suffering and their friends had no clue what they were seeing. Having no knowledge, friends assumed the veteran simply turned into a jerk, a drunk, a drug user instead of a friend in need of help.

If you want to know what is going on, that is a start but you also have to accept the fact that as we talk about the men and women in the military, these men and women follow generation of veterans living with PTSD and still waiting for someone to know the signs of PTSD as much as they need to know the signs of a stroke to save their lives.