New Movie Terrible Love Turns into Healing Hearts with PTSD

There are so many times I want to scream about some of the wonderful people I have met along the way but most of the time, I have to keep their secrets. In this case, it was a secret about working as a consultant on a wonderful movie that is very close to my heart.

For over a year I have been working with the screenwriter and director of Terrible Love, a movie about what it is like for a family when veterans come home from combat changed by where they were sent. Someone once said that there is no turning back into a civilian after combat and that has turned out to be very true. What few talk about is, there is no turning back for the families. We can't just flip a switch and suddenly be transported out of our world and into theirs. We try to figure it out as we go along but as hard as it is on us, it is harder watching them suffer, wanting to help them but not really knowing how.

I was a young wife but my husband had been home for over ten years from Vietnam. I don't know what it is like to live as these young families do, worrying about them while they are gone and then facing the changes they bring home inside of them. What I do know is, none of this is impossible as long as you believe in the love you had and know that what is not normal to the rest of the country, veterans are only about 7% of the population so even without PTSD, we are not normal to them at all.

When Chris came to me with this idea, I could hear the passion in his voice and I knew it would something wonderful. I know all the hard work and long hours he and his wonderful cast put in on this because the subject matters to all of them.

When you watch the trailer at the bottom know that this came out of love so others may remember what love really is even when it can feel terrible at times.

Terrible Love Turns into Healing Hearts with PTSD
Christopher Thomas
May 28, 2013


Terrible Love Trailer from Helmsman Studios on Vimeo.
I did not grow up in a military family, and honestly knew very few Veterans growing up.

In college, one of my female friends married an Army Reservist, and I found myself with a new perspective on military family life. They were a true wonder-couple. Perfect for each other, everyone seemed to envy their stability and their chemistry.

During her husband's first deployment, I watched her struggle to carry on with daily life. All the phases of grief and longing. My heart ached knowing how difficult it was for them, and how intensely they wanted to be together. I was full of sorrow just thinking about it, and occasionally lost sleep. I can't imagine what she had to go through. I had the luxury of turning my sympathy on and off, while she had to deal with the ache every day.

One Sunday, I happened to see the couple reunited at church. This caught me off guard. It must have been his second or third day back. They were sitting together, perhaps a little too close for a church service, but I was completely overwhelmed with joy. I was more happy for them than I had ever been happy for myself. They were beaming like newlyweds. I couldn't make eye contact with them because I was already crying.

After that church service, this veteran family fell off the radar. I didn't hear much from them for a month or so, and I thought I should respect their privacy as they reconnect. However, less than 90 days after his return, I found out from a friend that this couple was now living in separate houses. There were rumors of traumatic brain injury, there were rumors of abuse. I could not ask what kind. My brain could not process it. This was a beautiful couple. I watched them while they were apart. They wanted to be together more than anything, and now that he was finally back, they couldn't even tolerate being in the same room.

What could possibly keep them from being together? What could possibly have stolen their love, their family, their stability, their future?

This was my introduction to PTSD. And I hate it.

I had to research this topic. I had to find some explanation for this disaster. After watching many documentaries, and reading a lot of stories on Wounded Times, I discovered that my friends' story was not an anomaly. There were countless families with the same story. I became aware of an entire world of divorce, suicide, bankruptcy, and broken hearts.

The question that I could not get out of my head was, "Why didn't anyone tell me about this?"

And that is how the film Terrible Love was born.

There is a house on my street. Outside of it is a car with three bumper stickers:

The wound you can't see

The goal of Terrible Love is to help the civilian population imagine what may be happening inside of that house. To give them an intimate look at the wreckage of PTSD. And if they ever get the chance to reach out to a veteran family (and with 1.2million having served in the Middle East, this is not far-fetched) hopefully the knowledge gained from Terrible Love will help end the awkwardness, ignorance, standoffishness, or patronization of those encounters.

I have never talked to this family on my street. I don't know what issues they may have, if any. But ultimately Terrible Love exists to let that family know: they are not alone in whatever they may be facing. There is hope.

Christopher Thomas
Helmsman Studios
Contact email helmsmanstudios@gmail.com
765-414-6551