If you care, ask them what they need

Last week I put up a post saying that I was in need of emergency donations to cover the long list of events I was supposed to be covering this weekend. I know people read it but not one of them thought to respond. It makes my wonder what it would be like if I did the same to other people asking me for help. What if I said "let someone else do it" instead of wondering what I can do for them?

I sent out a couple of emails to people I know about this and one person called me. She didn't ask what I needed. She was too busy telling me that maybe God was telling me it was time to stop doing what I do. After all, it has been long enough. She didn't seem to understand that if God wanted me to stop this, He would get the phone to stop ringing and the emails to stop coming in. She was so busy telling me what I needed to do that she didn't ask what happened or why I needed the money. She told me she would pray for me. I got off the phone actually feeling worse. It isn't that I do not believe in the power of prayers. I really do believe God hears prayers and one way or another, He comes through but He has to work with other people to answer most of the prayers we offer up. What I don't believe in is when I hear someone say they will pray for someone without one single clue about what they need. I felt as if I didn't even matter enough for her to listen to me or help with what I needed. She turned it over to God and hung up the phone.

How is it helpful to anyone to ignore them? To not care about what they need? To not even wonder if what they need is something you can give? How is it helpful to not even take the time to listen and let them know you at least care enough to give your time?

That is what is happening right now to our veterans and their families. I am sure if you think about how many times you were in need of help and no one came, what it felt like. How did it feel to know you found the courage to ask for help and no one did? The need for them is great and growing stronger while they are running out of hope. We know that because the number of veterans taking their own lives along with active duty war fighters has also gone up. The only reason people commit suicides is when they run out of hope tomorrow can be better than what "right now" is for them.

The Department of Defense says year after year they are doing this or doing that but it is always the same failed attempts followed by "we don't know why" instead of asking what they are missing. Asking the men and women they trained to tell them what they need would go a long way. Maybe it would be a good idea to have an honest discussion with survivors of attempted suicides? After all they had over 900 of them last year alone. Oh, sorry, something else no one wants to talk about.

Better than nothing is often worse than anything. It is time for the people in charge to actually ask what is needed instead of deciding what they are willing to give. The veterans are in worse shape because of all the "attempts" the military did because they never listened to what the troops had to say.