PTSD Veterans Suicides: While they may not be in the military anymore, it is in them

PTSD Veterans Suicides
While they may not be in the military anymore, it is in them
by Kathie Costos
Wounded Times Blog
April 6, 2013

Knowing where we are is only part of the story that needs to be told. How we got here is vital if we are every going to actually change, lean, adapt and act so that they know they matter to us. How can we settle on increased military suicides and attempted suicides after all these years and billions of dollars spent "addressing and preventing" suicides? How can we live with letting all of these men and women down? How can we live with what we are putting families through?

I am sitting here right now in the final stages of THE WARRIOR SAW, SUICIDES AFTER WAR and went back to my older blog trying to fill in missing pieces. I came across one of the first posts I put up on military suicide and was stunned to discover it was +29,217 on Google

People ask me why I refer to all of them as "military suicides" when many of them commit suicide after they have been discharged. The answer is simple. Their suicides are tied to military service and that never changes. Why? Because while they may not be in the military anymore, it is in them.

Until we get that, understand that simple fact, we will keep losing more after combat than during it.

Iraq War Veteran's Suicide
Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Iraq war veteran's suicide a cry for helping others, friend says
Columbus Ledger-Enquirer - Columbus,GA,USA
Jan 31, 2006

An Iraq war veteran's suicide earlier this month was a cry for helping others with post-traumatic stress disorder, his close friend says.

Douglas A. Barber, a 35-year-old truck driver, shot and killed himself on Jan. 16 with a shotgun as Lee County sheriff's deputies and two friends on the phone tried to talk him out of it.

Barber, who had an honorable discharge from the Army, had served with the Ohio National Guard's 1485th Transportation Company. He spent part of 2003 in Iraq, returning home ahead of his unit, Army officials said, and later moved from Ohio to Alabama. He had been approved for service-connected disability for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), Lee County Coroner Bill Harris said Thursday.

Barber's best friend, Michael Teppig, told the Opelika-Auburn News in a story Thursday that Barber had problems dating back to childhood. But after he went to Iraq, his problems multiplied.

Teppig said he tried numerous times to get him some help, taking him to the Veterans Hospital in Tuskegee or picking up Barber and his truck at a destination because he was unable to finish the job.

Damon Stevenson, a spokesman for the Tuskegee veterans hospital, said the hospital was sad to hear of Barber's death.

"I had spoken to him on one occasion," Stevenson said Thursday. "We talked about some of his issues."

Because of federal privacy laws, however, Stevenson could not release any details of Barber's medical care.

Iraq only exacerbated Barber's problems "and he was paying the price," Teppig told the Opelika-Auburn News.

"He knew that what all he had in his head weren't going to go away," Teppig said. "He just wanted people to know what he was dealing with and didn't want anyone else to go through the same thing."

He had waged a private and public battle to get the care he needed.

Barber frequented Internet forums to talk about PTSD and the problems vets face after war, Teppig said.

Teppig said he had seen Barber medicated to the point his emotions were all over the charts.

Before Barber died, Teppig spent a day with him calling area television stations trying to get somebody to tell his story, but Teppig said no one seemed interested.

Another friend, Bob Page, was on one phone line with Barber from California and Teppig was on the other when the shotgun fired.
Information from: Opelika-Auburn News

That news caused me to write the following

How many veterans are we going to see take their own lives before this country wakes up? PTSD is real. It is horrible. Worse yet, is that treatment is there waiting for them. I wish I could say all they have to do is ask for it, but for too many it is not that easy. First they have to get over trying to pass it off as nothing serious. Then they have to know what it is. Once they know, then they have to get over the stigma of having a mental illness so that they can fully understand it is a wound to one more body part. Unlike a wound to a limb, this wound cannot be seen with the eyes. It can however be seen through the eyes within the distant stare, the deep pain they carry and the joy no longer reflected. Having gone through the stage of denial comes the time when they no longer want to simply exist, but to live again. To feel all the pleasures of life they used to know but took for granted.

For too many the desire is not strong enough to get them to fight for healing. They feel unworthy of it at the same time they cry out for it. They need someone to fight for them. This is where the family comes in. Unless the family members understand what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is, they will not know what to do. Their own human traits then kick in when they are pushed away, ignored, snapped at and shut out. They begin to take the disconnected attitude as a response to themselves instead of one being from a sufferer of an illness. To dismiss the illness, they say to themselves, "he looks normal to me" so I will react as if they are normal.

The uneducated response is part of the problem growing deeper. It prolongs the time between the cause of the illness and the treatment beginning. It also feeds the perception of the victim feeling unworthy of living, of loving and of compassion. With the knowledge of the illness there is support and a tool to recovery. Without this tool there is suicide, drug and alcohol self-medicating, criminal intent, verbal abuse and violence. The swift reaction to sudden movements or noise becomes more troublesome as self defense kicks into high gear. Hostility becomes more constant as a response. If we react to them as we would a "well" person, this feeds the illness. We can and we must invest the time into learning all we can about this illness.

You may say that your family member is fine upon returning from war service and only see small changes. That is part of the problem. For many with PTSD it takes a second stress factor to push the person over the edge so that the small changes become full blown character changes. By then the changes noticed in the beginning are forgotten about and PTSD is the furthest thing from your mind. You need to know the signs so that you can deal with them if and when they begin to surface. Some will return with signs so strong they are hard to ignore. Others will not show clear signs until much later on.

We need to be prepared and as committed to them as they were when they decided to serve this nation as a defender of this nation. After all isn't that what the military is for? This is why they join although there are many other reasons to go with this basic sense of duty, it is usually the most important one. Money is not enough of a motivator to get someone to join the military. They were willing to risk their lives. The question is, what are we as a nation willing to do for them? Are we willing to take the time to study this illness so that we can be ready when they need us? Are we willing to make sure the Veterans Administration has all the funding and manpower they need to treat those we call hero today, but forget about tomorrow when we expect them to get on with their civilian lives? Are we willing to make sure the public becomes informed of the price paid by far too many of our military members that the stigma of PTSD is forever removed as a deterrent to healing? How many are we willing to let commit suicide like Barber?

The media lack of interest is not new. It has been going on since I began to fight for veterans over twenty years ago. I tried to get them to pay attention to the rules congress laid down so that the VA could recoup some of the costs of non-service connected medical treatments. I was told it was nothing more than sour grapes. If this was the bottom line, then what was the excuse of the media for not paying attention after my husband's claim was approved and he finally got the help he needed for a service connected disability the doctors had already connected but the administration was slow to honor?

It is easier to just dismiss it all and forget about it. Time for the media to wake up and pay attention to the reality for far too many veterans.

Kathie Costos
Namguardianangel@aol.com