After trauma, you can win

It is very important to point out that resilience is part of you or it is not. You cannot train or learn to become resilient.

"But how resilient people are can help determine how quickly they bounce back.

What's resilience? It's when people aren't afraid to share their emotions so they don't become overwhelmed — and when they try to look for a silver lining, like focusing on how many bystanders helped the wounded, rather than dwelling on gruesome memories."

There is a huge difference between having that ability and not having it. I am an example of having it only because of my life and getting help to heal after each time I faced death. I am not a veteran, as I point out all the time. I have just had my life on the line many times from early childhood. The difference, the only one I can see, is that my family was always there and talked everything to death.

I come from a large "Greek" family. Much like the movie, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" the whole extended family was involved in everything and there were no secrets. Sometimes they gave the wrong advice, but they were always there to listen until I was done talking. Every dangerous experience was subdued surrounded by loving family members. Being resilient is not being perfect. There are times when I actually got to the breaking point and once I prayed very hard to die. I get depressed. I have to fight off thinking negatively. I have to remind myself of all the times something happened and I am still standing. In other words, when "it" didn't win.

It does not have to win now for you either.

Talk about what you went through, how you felt and what you were thinking at the time. When you start to be able to talk about it without feeling your insides change when you do, then you are healing from it. Every part of you experienced the event. Your muscles. Your heart rate. It all goes with it so it is important to do this and get it all out in the open in a safe place.

These videos are a few years old but while time has changed the nature of PTSD has not.

Psychological aftershocks are invisible wounds of disaster but most people recover with time
Published April 18, 2013
Associated Press

BOSTON – Anger. Crying jags. Nightmares. They're all normal reactions for survivors of the bombings at the Boston Marathon, and witnesses to the mayhem.

Kaitlyn Greeley burst into tears when a car backfired the other day. She's afraid to take her usual train to work at a Boston hospital.

"I know this is how people live every day in other countries. But I'm not used to it here," said Greeley, 27, a technician at Tufts Medical Center who was on duty Monday when part of the hospital was briefly evacuated even as victims of the blast were being treated.

Those psychological aftershocks are the often invisible wounds of disaster. Most affected are the injured and those closest to the blasts. But even people with no physical injuries and those like Greeley who weren't nearby can feel the emotional impact for weeks as they struggle to regain a sense of security. What's not clear is who will go on to suffer lingering anxiety or depression, even post-traumatic stress disorder.

Seek help if those reactions are bad enough to impair function, or if they're not getting better in about a month, said Priscilla Dass-Brailsford, a psychologist at Georgetown University Medical Center, who served on disaster mental health teams that counseled survivors of 9/11 in New York and Hurricane Katrina. read more here

Hero After War is about combat and PTSD but there are many things that can help others.

This can help you understand too.



Get help before your mind changes. The best time to begin to heal is now. If you have been suffering for a long time, there are things that you can do that can make your life better and what cannot be healed, you can find peace to live with.