The real uncounted casualties of war are families!

Yesterday I posted Think of like an ex-wife because it was our 28th anniversary. Yes, we made it that many years even with PTSD trying to end it. We can watch reality TV and see struggles in regular family life, but this is far from regular.

The truth is, if you don't live with it, you don't really understand it.

For 30 years, I've been trying to do something about it. Most of the people involved in this battle after combat are long gone because when we started, no one else was talking about it. Patience Mason another wife of a Vietnam veteran is still around and trying to do what she can to help other families. There used to be so many more but what all of us had to teach has been forgotten and for the others, they were ignored so they gave up.

I understand how that feels since everyday I feel as if I should be walking away and pretend that none of this is happening to other families just like mine. Forget the Moms and the wives trying to cope when it is too little, too late to save the life of someone they loved. Forget the "kid" the same age my husband was when he came home from Vietnam. After all, I had to fight alone with all of this, so they can too. The problem is, I remember what it was like fighting alone, struggling to learn what few others knew and trying to save my husband. That's what this is really all about.

I did an interview when I was asked why I help and I said I'm helping myself from back then when I had no one. (this interview will be available soon)

It sucks to be right when they are still dead addresses more of this but for right now, just remember, none of this has to happen if the veterans and their families had the right kind of help and the government stopped the better than nothing approach that has not worked in all of these years and never will.

The real uncounted casualties of war are families!

UNCOUNTED CASUALTIES: MENTAL HEALTH
Which veterans are at highest risk for suicide?
Sept. 30, 2012
PTSD, injuries combine with everyday stresses; studies also say women especially vulnerable.
By American-Statesman Investigative Team

The stresses that can contribute to suicide — relationship problems, legal problems, mental illness, depression — are the same for military personnel and veterans as for the rest of the population, experts say.

But the former have higher rates of post-traumatic stress disorder and traumatic brain injury, both of which increase the chance of self-harm, said Peter Gutierrez , co-director of the Military Suicide Research Consortium in Denver, a joint effort by the U.S. military and research scientists to understand and prevent suicidal behavior. Having two or more such conditions that affect mental health — known as co-morbidity — is also known to increase the risk.

According to Department of Veterans Affairs data, the likelihood of suicide among Afghanistan and Iraq veterans was greatest during the first two years after leaving active duty; it declined by half after four to six years had passed. Although those veterans faced a “significantly higher” risk than the general population, it’s unclear how they stack up against veterans of other wars, such as Vietnam.

“One of the questions that clearly needs to be answered is how does the suicide rate among our youngest veterans compare to suicide rates among other (groups of veterans)?” Gutierrez said.
Research is trickling in that addresses that question. A study released in June by the VA found that suicide risk in Iraq and Afghanistan veterans diagnosed with a mental health condition was four times higher than in veterans without that diagnosis.

read more here

Suicide among veterans receiving less attention than active-duty deaths
Many family members noticed dramatic changes in their loved ones after they returned from the war and before committing suicide.