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Saturday, October 6, 2012

Forget Me Not

I just got back from the Orange County Convention Center where the DAV Chapter 16 has a booth for the Forget Me Not fundraiser.
The Home Show is fantastic and is having huge crowds of people all weekend, so if you're in the area, you should think of going but that is not what this post is about. It is about our veterans and the ambivalence of others.

People from all ages walked by the booth.

Some pretended they didn't notice the pictures, flags and paintings hanging but they managed to reach in and grab some mints we had out. Amazing how they saw the candy but not us. I'm 5'7" and wear heals, so that makes me about 5'10". I have on my Veterans Everyday t-shirt that is black with big white letters. Believe me, there is no way they could miss me standing there, but they just walked right by. My husband was asking everyone if they wanted to donate, but they ignored him too. It isn't hard to figure out they haven't been paying attention to the troops any more than they have been paying attention to the wounded.

Now for the others. It was easy to see it in their eyes. It was easy to see it when they didn't even have to think about reaching into their pockets and wallets. They were part of this huge "military family" in one way or another. Huge military family? Yes, that's right. See it isn't just about who is in their family right now serving in Afghanistan or stationed in another part of the world. It is about their parents, as much as it is about their own kids. It is about being a veteran from all generations as well as being a spouse, parent, friend and for one man, about his neighbor. Everyone who reached into their pocket had some connection to the military in some way.

There were male veterans from Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq along with female veterans from all those wars and adult children of veterans long gone. Several I talked to have PTSD and as I listened to them, I notice their wives standing by their side. I asked them "how are you doing" and a puzzled expression came on their face as if no one had asked them that question before. How easy is it for us to listen to the veterans but ignore the person taking care of them everyday?

I know what that feels like. No matter how much someone knows about what I do, I am always shocked when someone asks me how I am or what I need.

Civilians are usually oblivious to all of this so when there is a veteran, they are usually accustomed to not saying anything about this other part of their lives and that is a very sad statement. If you are a veteran, wear something with pride and if you love any veteran, try to do the same. You never know what conversations will begin when they see another member of this great minority family.

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