The people left behind wonder how it is possible to survive bullets and bombs but not want to live back home with them. They wonder what they did wrong as they begin to blame themselves. After the body is buried and personal belongings are packed up for charity, they hold onto one thing they will never let go of. What they could have done differently.
What can I say that I have already said in the last 30 years? What can I do that I have not already done? What will it take for this needless agony for veterans and their families to end?
I ask myself these questions every single day. I wake up asking and spend the rest of the day trying. At the end of the day I pray that someone was helped because someone was more aware of what is going on in this country because of this blog but the next morning I read another story about another veteran committing suicide or an email from a family member when they struggle afterwards.
I asked myself these questions even more when my husband's nephew, also a Vietnam veteran, checked himself into a motel room on Route 1 in Massachusetts, locked the door, pushed furniture against it and injected enough heroin into his arm to kill ten men. That guilt does not go away even though common sense tells me I did everything I could. He just wouldn't listen.
I try to make myself feel better remembering the lives saved and the fact my own husband is still here, but the truth is, every now and then, I cry for loss that didn't need to happen, especially when I watch something like this.
Report: A veteran commits suicide every 80 minutes
Nicholas Kristof, of The New York Times, and Col. Jack Jacobs, an msnbc military analyst, discuss the alarming number of war veterans committing suicide and whether the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs is doing enough to prevent these tragedies.
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