University of Montana student's death opens dialogue about suicide

Friends, family remember Parmenter after death, open dialogue about suicide
By Linds Sanders
Published: Tuesday, April 24, 2012

It was hard to walk past Jacob Parmenter without being acknowledged.

He was inquisitive, confident and smiled a “big, toothy grin” recalls his close friend Connor Hovsepian, 21. It was that distinct smile that appeared in every picture displayed at his service Saturday, March 24, in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Family, friends and fraternity members crowded the pews and stood in the doorway sharing that smile as pictures of Parmenter were projected on a screen in the front. A few laughs escaped when silly pictures appeared: Parmenter making a funny face at the cameraman or sticking out his tongue. The next picture cycled through, and the church was quiet again with old memories and fresh questions.

All those who loved Parmenter have been at a loss since he killed himself Friday, March 16, in his Miller Hall dorm room. Parmenter was 19 years old, a pledge of Phi Delta Theta and a freshman studying paramedicine.

After the pictures of family vacations and childhood memories, Parmenter’s oldest brother, James, stood at the podium. With the help of his close friends, James Parmenter composed a suicide letter he wished his youngest brother had left. The letter spoke to the pain Jacob Parmenter was feeling and said he wished more for his friends and family.

At the beginning of the semester, Parmenter pledged to be a Phi Delta Theta. His good friend and fraternity educator Richard LeCoultre, 19, remembers Parmenter’s confidence from one of the initial house meetings where aspiring pledges learn what it means to be a Phi Delta Theta brother. LeCoultre asked the group to nominate a class president. Parmenter jumped up and nominated himself. Then he explained to the boys why they should entrust him with this duty.

Before attending the University of Montana, he excelled in recruit training for the Marine Corps and was made squad leader.
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