Sergeant Major says asking for help made him "strongest soldier"

This year marks 30 years of learning about PTSD and what it does. Hard to believe that many years have come and gone along with a lot of pain. When I fell in love with a Vietnam veteran, I didn't fully understand that his war would be a constant battle for me to fight. It is because of him, all of him, I do what I do. I saw so much strength in him, compassion and integrity that went beyond what I had seen in others. I saw his suffering when PTSD was as bad as it could possibly be but I also saw hope come alive in him again when he began to heal.

All these years later, he knows he'll be on medication and in therapy for the rest of his life but this is what comes from too many years of suffering without help. Like many Vietnam veterans, they came home to suffer in silence. There were no reports in newspapers about them or what combat did to them unless one of them was arrested. They came home and committed suicide but no one wanted to talk about that either. Back then families like mine were supposed to just keep it all secret as if there was anything to be ashamed of.

Now we all know better. Veterans are coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan with a lot more support and knowledge than we ever had. The Internet played a huge roll in that so that they could read about others from across the country, find support and a greater understanding. What combat does is not new but what is being done about it has come from them being willing to talk about it.

Vietnam veterans are rightly credited with fighting to have PTSD treated as a result of combat. It is because of them there are programs for veterans today. It is because they were brave enough to take a stand no matter how they were being treated. Todays' veterans are able to find more support because of them but it is a payback in a sense. Because of the veterans we have today more and more Vietnam veterans are being encouraged to seek help for themselves. They are able to talk about it more freely than they even had. Now we hear about PTSD all the time and it is a good thing.

The average American still doesn't have a clue because veterans in trouble get in the news but veterans rising above their pain don't seem to matter as much. Well here they do and now you know why. I post about all of it, most of the time with great sadness but with great hope when I post something like the following.

The War Inside, Part 2

Juli McDonald
1/11/2012

In an organization that relies on strength and a willingness to serve, soldiers in the North Dakota National Guard strive to meet that expectation. How can someone who`s supposed to be tough ask for help? Sergeant Major Kevin Keefe had soldiers to lead but something was bothering him. He says it was difficult to walk through the doors of the V.A. to ask for help. But because of that decision, he`s now the strongest soldier he could ever be.

Just two weeks into 1st Sgt. Kevin Keefe`s 2008 deployment to Iraq, he suffered two herniated discs and a traumatic brain injury from a rocket attack. Despite the pain, he wasn`t going anywhere.

"In my mind, I had 182 soldiers, a commander that was my battle buddy. My soldiers, everybody, not depending on me, but we were part of a team to make sure we brought all these soldiers home," says Keefe.

And still fresh in his mind was his father`s death in a house fire right before his deployment.

"I was up, I was down. I was mad, I was compassionate. I was every emotion. Depressed. Every emotion in the spectrum," he says.

Keefe made it home alive with the rest of his soldiers. But his worst wounds were the ones you couldn`t see. His marriage had ended and he even considered suicide. Keefe calls his daughter his saving grace. After the deployment, Keefe remarried. He says although spouses can`t understand what a soldier has gone through, his wife is the best thing that ever happened to him. Keefe realized it wasn`t a weakness to ask for help; it would actually make him stronger.
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