Veterans Day: Military Spouses Share Their Pain

Everyday is Veterans Day for them.

Veterans Day: Military Spouses Share Their Pain

By KRISTINA WONG (@kristina_wong)
Nov. 11, 2011
Less than a year ago, Army wife Kat Honaker opened her bedroom door and found her husband inside with a gun in his mouth.

Minutes earlier, he had rampaged through the house in Bristol, Tenn., picking up chairs and smashing them on the kitchen counter top, turning the family's oak dining table and chairs into thousands of splinters. When she told her trembling children to run and call 9-1-1, he grabbed all the phones and destroyed them, too. He was furious that she had put a trash bag outside the front door instead of trudging through snow to the garbage can.

She coaxed him into putting the gun down, unloaded it, and gave it to her oldest son to hide outside. After he went through all the liquor in the house -- five beers, two pints of Jack Daniels and a bottle of moonshine -- they convinced him to get into the truck.

On the way to the hospital about an hour away, Honaker's husband started ranting about improvised explosive devices (IEDs) and how the route hadn't been cleared and that they were going the wrong way. He started screaming about the tractor trailer in front of them, and how it was a bomb and they were going to get blown up.

Her oldest son, 13 at the time, took charge. Recognizing that his father thought he was in Iraq, he started giving orders.

"Sergeant, you need to get in the truck and drive. Stand down soldier ... stand down. We will be getting ourselves back to the FOB to get some rest," he barked at his father, who kept saying, "I have blood all over me, it's all over me."
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Last year I was speaking at the Point Man Ministries conference in Buffalo. It is my great pleasure to be a part of this organization and one of the reasons is this Staff Sgt. He is an Iraq veteran. I was listening to the church band play, getting some footage for the audio when Paul stood up and began to talk. I couldn't find the will to shut off the camera. It was not planned but his story was so moving, I knew I had to put the video online. I went over to Paul during a break and introduced myself. He said he knew who I was. "I make videos." He said "I know that and I've seen them." Then I watched his expression change when I told him I filmed his presentation. "You what?" I had to tell him to relax because I was willing to give him the tape, destroy it or put it up on YouTube. He didn't hesitate. He looked me right in the eyes and said, "Get it up on YouTube. I'm tired of losing my men."

Paul talked about putting the gun in his mouth too. He talked about the pain he felt coming home. In the end he also talked about healing spiritually and how his life changed because of Point Man Ministries. Paul is one more example that while we honor them one day out of the year, they are veterans everyday of their lives.