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Sunday, May 1, 2011

Veteran Wendy Torrey's death shocks family, friends and fellow veterans

Wendy Torrey didn't find what she was looking for trying to heal from what she had been through. She tried to find it. She had been in a treatment program before she walked into a shooting range and pulled the trigger against her own body. Torrey, by all accounts, not only want to heal herself, she wanted others to heal too. So what was missing from her "treatment" and what is it that they are still not doing when veterans like her do everything experts tell them they need to do but still end up so hopeless they don't want to live another day with the pain they are in? We have plenty of excuses when they just decide they don't want help, choose to drink or do drugs instead of fighting to heal or turn down help from others instead of embracing all the help they can get, but when they do all the can to heal but still take their own lives, we better start looking at what they are given in the form of help and fix what we're getting wrong.


Woman’s death shocks family, friends, fellow vets
Barb Ickes
Posted: Sunday, May 1, 2011

When Wendy Torrey followed her boyfriend to Bettendorf five years ago, she threw herself into what mattered to her: other veterans.

At 33 years old, Torrey had served in Bosnia with the Army, had lost her husband to an SUV rollover accident and was single-handedly raising the couple’s son, Trevor.

She found her way to VFW Post 9128 in Bettendorf shortly after moving to the Quad-Cities and served for two years as the post’s chaplain. She enrolled in Western Illinois University and earned a bachelor’s degree in business management.

She helped other veterans while volunteering for about six months as an intern for U.S. Rep. Bruce Braley, D-Iowa. She also found work with the Veterans Administration hospital system in Iowa City.

But Torrey needed help, too.

“She served in the Bosnia campaign,” said Scott County Veterans Affairs Director David Woods. “We knew she had PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), and she was being treated for it.”

In fact, Torrey had recently completed a treatment program at the Battle Creek Veterans Affairs Medical Center when she went to a shooting range April 20 in Taylor, Mich.

After renting a handgun and shooting targets for an unspecified amount of time, Torrey took her own life.

“We’re just dumfounded, because we didn’t see it coming,” said her father, John Torrey of Corpus Christi, Texas. “She didn’t tell us much about Bosnia. Veterans hide those things from people they care about.”

According to her obituary, Torrey enlisted in the Army in 1997, which is where she met her husband, Jeremy. She served with the military police in Bosnia.

“Her platoon asked her to man their M-60 machine gun, and she walked point on foot patrols, seeing things young women are not supposed to see,” her obit read.

Word of her suicide reached Bettendorf last week.
read more here
Woman’s death shocks family, friends, fellow vets

Original report
Female Army Vet, released from PTSD program, committed suicide at shooting range

11 comments:

  1. Jeremy was her ex husband. They had been divorced for quite a while and he was going to be remarried. Most of her treatment was court ordered for numerous DUI offenses.

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  2. Why would you post a horrible comment like that here especially anonymously? Any clue why most PTSD vets have DUI charges? Any clue why there are now veterans courts? Do you have any clue at all?

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  3. Well put Chaplain kathie......she was in treatment for PTSD...the DUIs were a result of her PTSD. Anonymous should have signed HERSELF CLUELESS!!!!

    wendy was my friend. beautiful and intelligent. certainly way above the intelligence of anonymous up there. I was witness to her struggle to to get the help she needed. The system was not able to help her in time. After so many doors slammed shut in her face, she lost all hope.

    Wendy didn't write the article, dim wit. Her parents are the ones who seemed to neglect the mention of her divorce among other things.

    All i know is there is a whole in my heart where Wendy once lived. And every 17 seconds another beautiful veteran loses hope.

    Goodbye friend.

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  4. "Well played, Lisa".
    As for anonymous - you seem to know so much about Wen's life to not want to reveal your name. Which only seems to point to the fact that you obviously were not one of Wen's friends. That is too bad for you. You missed out.
    Back to the anonymous part -- I'd guess you were probably just one of the many of which Wen poked holes in your ideology as she intelligently argued her point, with factual information, and worked circles logically around you. (oh my, she was so damn good at that) Thus, such negativity from you. Don't hate. It is a wasted emotion you silly one.
    I feel your pain, Lisa. I miss my dear friend, too.

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  5. I am so sorry to both of you for the loss of your friend. I've seen people like the anonymous comment poster since 1982 and standing in the way of healing is what they do best. See, they can't stand the fact other people can be able to do what the men and women in the military do. They set aside everything personal for the sake of everyone else. When they end up paying for caring so much, well then, it has to be the veteran's fault. This kind of person drives me crazy but I feel sorry for them at the same time.
    My husband is a Vietnam Vet with PTSD, so I've heard it all. Just consider this person for what they must be like and know they must be pretty damn selfish and miserable.

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  6. Wow, just...wow. I was stationed with and was a roomate of Wendy's while enlisted in the Army. She was my rock! We always had such a great time together even though we worked so hard as military police officers. I am embarrassed for the person who had the nuts to post that crap. If you were her friend, you would have understood what has happened. Some things veterans keep secret because we must. Some things we can only talk about with each other because civilians can not understand. That's why you need to show respect. Her true friends are grieving. KATHY KORN MP ARMY 8 years!

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  7. There are some people in this country thinking that if they blame the veteran, it will make their miserable lives better somehow.

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  8. I was a friend and co-worker of Wendy's. Please forgive me for posting as an anonymous person...but I don't like to share a lot when people know who I am.

    Wendy was so smart, funny, warm, passionate and dedicated. I thank God for the time I got to know her. Being around her was like a giant ray of sunshine! We are both female Veterans - and we didn't say a whole lot about our military careers - but we both shared PTSD. Sometimes, that is all you really need to know.

    I miss you, Wendy. I can't tell you how I cried when I heard what had happened. God keep you and may you spend eternity with him. He knows..you did your time in hell.

    Love,
    B

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  9. No need at all to apologize for using Anonymous on this comment. It was very nice.

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  10. Wendy, you were a pretty cool aunt. I'm sorry we never had many chances to have fun together! I will always remember how you rescued me from that freaky black trash bag that got stuck in the tree and made scary noises in the wind. Everybody makes fun of me for that, but I don't think they understand how terrifying that was for a three year old.

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  11. To Trevor, she will be missed and remembered.

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