Christmas is hard when you have nothing to give

Christmas used to be a time when my large family got together, weeks spent decorating, shopping and writing out the Christmas cards. When my daughter was younger it was a joy to go out and find the one special gift she wanted because I wanted her to be happy. I still want that but now she lives far away. This is the first Christmas in almost 23 years I won't see her Christmas morning. This year my family is gone and we don't have extra money to even send out the Christmas cards. I don't have decorations up this year. This year, like many other families, times are really hard.

The beginning of December made my heart sink as news reports were showing people shopping at the malls and I knew I couldn't afford to go shopping. It was really hard on me and I got really depressed. Then I started to think about what Christmas was supposed to mean.

We celebrate the day Christ came into the world but we forget how He lived His life. His life was about giving love. He gave the blind back their ability to see. He gave the lame back their ability to walk. He gave the hopeless hope and warmed the hardened hearts of the suffering giving them the ability to care again about others. He also gave the hungry the ability to be fed when He preached to others about taking care of the poor and needy. He gave the guilty the ability to be forgiven when He preached about how we are not to judge someone else and forgive them 70 x 7.

Somehow we twisted this day into being about shopping and spending money. All of this is fine when you have money but when you don't you end up feeling guilty and depressed because you believe you don't have anything to give. You forget what you do give the rest of the year.

You see commercials on TV with couples sitting together as jewelry is given and you know that gift comes with a huge charge card bill. You see cars being given to someone living in a large home, decorated with lights and then you think that is what you want too. Then you look at your own simple home, your old car and you wish you had it all too. Some of you have it even harder because you lost your job, your home and the ability to support yourself. This economy has hit millions of Americans trying to survive day to day yet this one day brings so much pressure to deliver gifts to others that we all stop thinking straight.

We forget the simple people showing up in Bethlehem did not bring gifts with them and there is not one account of gifts being given to Christ during the 32 years of other birthdays He had. As for Santa, well we know he didn't show up either but that is what we think about instead of Christ.

Last December started with having to put my beloved dog Brandon down. He almost made it to 14 and that was one of the hardest things I've ever done. We spent a lot of money before that trying to keep him alive. Money we couldn't afford to spend. Yet instead of just grieving for my dog, I had to feel guilty about not being able to buy gifts. Our electricity was shut off topping off feeling guilty about not putting lights up outside the house.

This year I'm over feeling guilty about not doing what everyone else seems to be doing and you should stop feeling guilty too.

All the cards I wrote out were because I cared about the people I was sending them to. I still care and wish them well, hope for their health and happiness and I pray God sends His angels to watch over them. That is my gift to them instead of a card this year. I will call most of them on the phone or email instead.

My parents and brothers have passed away but I hold them in my heart and carry all the years of spending Christmas with them.

As for gifts, I will not feel guilty about giving gifts the way Christ did. While I cannot give the blind the ability to see, I can pray the day comes when they can. While I cannot help the lame find the ability to stand, I can help to keep some of them in the minds of many when I post on the soldiers coming home without limbs. I can help bring attention to the suffering of the men and women coming home with PTSD and TBI, telling their stories and maybe opening the hearts of others who would rather judge them instead of help them.

If we spend the rest of the New Year doing things out of love, that is a better gift than can be bought at the mall or shipped out on UPS. If we donate clothes we no longer wear, it is better than buying a sweater for someone with a full closet of clothes. If we fill up a bag at the grocery store for the needy, it is better than buying food to stuff everyone in our group beyond what they should be eating. Instead of making one morning in December so all important we forget about the rest of the year, let's make the rest of the year reflect what this one day out of the year was actually supposed to mean. 

This year, I'm sending angels to everyone reading this blog so that you know the kind of gifts you give to others have no price tags and do not wear out or run out of batteries. It cannot be stolen from you. It is a gift that keeps giving because when you do something for someone else, it carries over to others. You will be surprised how much you really do have to give even when you cannot buy.