How far we've come from those dark days of suffering in silence

I was 23 when PTSD came into my life. I met a Vietnam Vet and wondered why he was so different. The day we met, my life changed. It had become my life's mission to make sure that veterans were taken care of and that families had what they needed to stay by their sides. We met in 1982. All these years later, countless hours spent doing what I had to do and now I finally see how far we've come from those dark days of suffering in silence.

Families join battle

Young adults, spouses play role
Jim Steinberg, Staff Writer
Posted: 11/20/2010 09:49:14 PM PST

After returning from Vietnam, people said Juju Sands' father was a changed man.
For the little girl who was born after her father returned from heavy combat in the steamy jungles, he was nothing short of a monster.

"I thank my father for showing me hell on Earth," said Sands, who now lives in Rancho Cucamonga with her husband and two children. "It catapulted me to strive to be better. It's given me a positive view of life."

Sands' experience is one of many shared by the families of veterans suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. It was a relatively foreign concept to those coming home from Vietnam and earlier conflicts, but is now something being examined in servicemen and women coming home from battle in

Iraq and Afghanistan.
Such awareness has caused the Veterans Affairs Department support network to evolve.

It now offers classes for family members so that they can better understand the journey of their returning sailor, soldier, airman or Marine.

"Veterans are part of a system, meaning the family, and they need to be educated not only to help them, but to increase treatment benefits of the veterans," said Nancy Farrell, staff psychologist with the Jerry L. Pettis Memorial Veterans Medical Center in Loma Linda.

The world of PTSD

The wounds of war can be psychological as well as physical. Fear triggers split-second changes to prepare the body to enter a "fight-or-flight" mode.

But sometimes this survival-based reaction results in alterations of brain function. Survival instincts designed to protect the species begin to malfunction, causing destructive behaviors, which can tear into a family like shrapnel from a land mine.

Most often, the behaviors improve over time. Sometimes they get worse. This is the world of PTSD.

Veterans were often misdiagnosed. Or worse, they were left to deal with life-altering behaviors and lose productive years to rage, drug or alcohol abuse and avoidance of people - including families.

Sands' father - a drug addict - died alone on the streets of Los Angeles.
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Families join battle

We as a nation send them to do our battles but we as a nation forget about them soon after. Wounded and forced to wait for care, not just from medical facilities but waiting for this nation to really care about what happens to them after they come home. We talk about the veterans forgetting about their families being on the front lines and we leave them alone as well.

The spouse shows up at work, clearly tired, but no one knows why they spent yet another night with little sleep.

A kid shows up in class with a sadness in their eyes that kids shouldn't have and no one knows they just spent yet another night of hearing their Dad or Mom screaming in the middle of the night because of one more terrible dream.

PTSD is not just about the veteran but about the entire family. They are on the front lines getting the veteran help and they need support to do it but they also need to know they have not been forgotten about.