When you’re the 'battle buddy' unexpectedly in trouble

Letter from Iraq:
When you’re the 'battle buddy' unexpectedly in trouble
Posted By Thomas E. Ricks Friday, October 1, 2010


Here's a sad comment from Capt. Tim Mills, who is now serving in Iraq.

By Capt. Tim Mills
Best Defense guest columnist

On April 23, I submitted an opinion editorial to the local paper. It ran with a picture of my kids and expressed sincere appreciation to my family for supporting my military service. In that editorial I said, "I don't know the total 'cost' this deployment will have on my family." Unfortunately, the editorial was outdated before it ever went to print.

I arrived at the airport on R&R leave April 29 and struggled to understand the awkwardness and inability to reconnect with my wife. On May 11 I discovered the security of a fourteen-year marriage had been compromised and the life my family had enjoyed seemed headed for destruction.

Boarding an airplane at 5:15 a.m. on May 15 was one of the hardest things I've done. Struggling to breathe and unable to sleep I weathered the endless hours of travel from the U.S. to Iraq. How does a Soldier board an airplane for another six months of deployment fearing his family being torn apart? The same way soldiers going through similar adversity boarded the plane at the beginning of the deployment.

"Take a walk in someone else's shoes. Step out of your own and try to view situations from a different set of shoes," these were my words of challenge to the unit before we deployed. I viewed this as an "elective" not a "core" requirement and didn't know I would involuntarily experience the pain some of them had already endured.

I have joined them. I've struggled to survive the injuries from a different battlefield -- the mind. The wounds my unit has sustained have largely been fought on this hidden battlefield. The fear of losing someone they love or someone who loves them can be consuming. Relationship struggles, newborn complications, back-to-back mobilizations, fearing the loss or losing a family member and fears resulting from deployment experiences have threatened the stability of my unit.
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When you’re the 'battle buddy' unexpectedly in trouble