PTSD What dreams may come

PTSD What dreams may come

by
Chaplain Kathie


We can all remember what it was like when nightmares woke us up as kids. We'd run to our parents seeking safety and assurance that the monsters of our dreams couldn't hurt us. We were protected by their love. Some of us were just as afraid of our parents. You'd see kids like that walking around the school hallways with dark circles under their eyes. They would fall asleep in class and some of them ended up wanting to make other kids understand what it was like to be afraid by becoming bullies.

As we got older, nightmares faded away replaced by real life fears we all faced as grownups. The movie Nightmare On Elm Street, one of my favorites, Freddy got even grownups to be afraid again. I went to see it with a friend of mine when it first came out. That movie hit us so hard that when we went to get back into the car, we were looking in the back seat to make sure no one was there.


I remembered what it was like to have nightmares come as a kid as I woke up in the dark, too afraid to go to my parents. I sought safety under the sheets with a flashlight. Each sound sent me into a panic. I knew I couldn't go to my parents because my Mom would just tell me the monsters weren't real and she had to go to work early in the morning. It was not that she didn't care about it but she had her own monsters to deal with in real life. My Dad was an alcoholic. I just had to learn how to fight off the monsters of my dreams on my own. Yes, I was one of those kids with dark circles under my eyes, but instead of wanting other kids to know what fear was, I wanted to comfort them because I didn't want anyone else to feel the way I did.

Horror movies play on our childhood fears. Life plays on our experiences of all of our past experiences.

Veterans have the same baggage we all do. They grew up the same way the rest of us did. They went to school, had parents they could go to when they were afraid or the kind of parents they were afraid to go to. They either faced bullies down or became one. What separated them from the rest of us was that while we went on to live common, peaceful lives, they were willing to take on the monsters in real life. They trained to do and prayed they wouldn't have to do it. When the time came, they picked up their weapons, locked and loaded, said a prayer and let hell loose on the enemy they were sent to fight.

Judgment of the action was "above their pay grade" which really boiled down to the fact it was not up to them to decide who was the enemy they needed to battle or when they fought, but it was their job to make sure as many of their buddies as possible would go home as soon as possible. It didn't matter if they enlisted or were drafted into the military once they were there. It was a matter of life or death.

For some, they walked away from the real-life nightmare the same way we walked away from childhood nightmares, with powerless memories to push out of their minds or powerful ones they had to battle to keep them from taking over their lives.

Instead of wanting to find safety in their parents arms, as adults, they wanted to find safety in being cared about, talking to someone who would not judge them, tell them the monsters haunting them were not real, or telling them to just go back to sleep. They needed reassurance they were not going to be destroyed by the monster, they did not deserve to be haunted and someone would stand by their side to help them fight it off.

As kids, we wanted to talk about our nightmares so that we would know someone else had the same experience or if they did not, they could understand what it was like to be afraid. Sharing our fears, our thoughts, our dreams, helped us defeat them slowly but surely. As veterans, they need the same ability to be able to defeat what they had to go through in real life.

This is one of the biggest reasons medication without therapy does not work. Meds only mask the pain so they can function. Sharing the experience helps them defeat it.

The longer the time between event and therapy with a professional or a trusted ally goes on, the deeper the cuts become. It is a wound to the emotional part of the mind, digging deeper like and untreated infection claiming more and more territory as the rest of the brain tries to take back control and protect itself, things get twisted around. Once they begin to talk, the strength of the monster vanishes. What is left of the damage done depends on how long it was allowed to destroy at will. Most of what PTSD does can be reversed. An infected wound will heal when it is treated. The scar left behind depends on how soon it was treated. Some scars will last a lifetime but there are ways to cope with what cannot be reversed. Understanding this monster, knowing where it came from, why it came after them, helps them cope with a monster reduced to the size of a really big bug.

The nightmare is not just on Elm street but on many streets across this country. If you want to see how vivid a nightmare can strike, here's a video I found on YouTube. Not my kind of music but it's pretty good. It talks about the price of evil but if you turn it around and think of it as evil just being what people do to other people, you'll get the point. Our veterans are not evil but what they had to go through was hell.