Gold Star family group no one wants to have to join

Linda Faulstich said "It's an exclusive club that no one wants to be eligible for." but she is thankful for the support from other families. No one knows what it is like to be one of these families and when family and friends turn away or don't want to talk about it anymore, there is a lot of pain piled on.

As hard as it is for most of these families, the families left behind because of suicide find it ever harder to find support from people they depend on the most. Gold Star families can be their lifeline.

Event connects Gold Star Families, kin of those who died in military service

By Rick Rojas
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, July 25, 2010

An indescribable pain consumes two Maryland mothers as they approach the anniversaries of their entrance into a network of families they hoped never to join: those with children killed in war.


On Aug. 5, 2006, Deborah Higgins buried her first-born son, Lance Cpl. James W. Higgins, 22, after he was killed in Iraq days shy of returning home. Two years earlier, on Aug. 5, Linda Faulstich received word that her son, Army Spec. Raymond J. Faulstich Jr., 24, died in Iraq that day after his convoy was attacked.

The deaths forever altered their lives. Faulstich, 60, of Leonardtown said she often wondered whether there would come a time when she could be happy again.

When her son died, Faulstich said, friends stopped calling. People tried to avoid talking about her son. She even fell out of touch with her mother, who told her that talking to her dredged up memories of Raymond.

"I had a feeling people thought I was going overboard with it," Faulstich said.

What helped her cope were other parents in the same situation. She found that the only ones who could understand her plight were the mothers and fathers who had been through it themselves, losing a son or daughter to war.

Gold Star Family is a generic term to describe relatives of military personnel who died during service. When Faulstich would pick up the phone and call another Gold Star mother, there was no pretense, no emotions to struggle to explain.

"It's an exclusive club that no one wants to be eligible for," she said.
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Event connects Gold Star Families